<!DOCTYPE html>
<html>
<head>
<meta charset="UTF-8">
<title>Starting Life...In Japan!?!? by blarcington</title>
<style type="text/css">

body { background-color: #ffffff; }
.CI {
text-align:center;
margin-top:0px;
margin-bottom:0px;
padding:0px;
}
.center   {text-align: center;}
.cover    {text-align: center;}
.full     {width: 100%; }
.quarter  {width: 25%; }
.smcap    {font-variant: small-caps;}
.u        {text-decoration: underline;}
.bold     {font-weight: bold;}
</style>
</head>
<body>
<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/26653141">Starting Life...In Japan!?!?</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/blarcington/pseuds/blarcington'>blarcington</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Re:ゼロから始める異世界生活 | Re:Zero Starting Life in Another World (Anime)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Canon Divergence, Hurt/Comfort, Roleswap, Web Novel Content Referenced</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>In-Progress</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-09-25</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-02-26</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-06 10:23:32</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>11</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>50,826</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/26653141</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/blarcington/pseuds/blarcington</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>A peculiarly dressed woman suddenly finds herself in suburban Japan, her old life as literally distant as it can be.</p><p>(Re:Zero but Emilia is transported to Japan, alternative title: 日本IF)</p><p>*Not strictly anime-only friendly! Hints and references to WN content lie within!</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Emilia/Natsuki Subaru</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>166</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>557</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. The Wrong Capital</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>A/N hello! It's been a long time since I wrote anything, and this is about as far removed from what my last unfinished fanfiction project was as could be...</p><p>I hope you enjoy! I'm not 100% I'll stick with this project, but let's see what happens!</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>*Ring ring ring!*</p><p>It was an all too familiar chime to any denizen of metropolitan Japan, but perhaps non more than the young man absent-mindedly perusing the convenience store shelf stocked full of manga and the odd translated comic book. He picked one out, seemingly at random and scanned its pages with half-lidded eyes.</p><p>“Ah,” He said, as if suspicions had been confirmed, “That’s how they draw you in.”</p><p>His seemingly disinterested gaze rises slightly to the window to watch a young couple wearing school uniforms outside pass him by. His eyes follow them absent-mindedly along the street until having to spy any longer would require turning his head.</p><p>Seemingly satisfied with his brief analysis of the book in his hands, he set it back on its shelf, where perhaps a less cynical reader may have their interest piqued enough to make a purchase. After grabbing a carton of instant noodles and snack chips so self-assuredly it was clear this was a routine, he looked down the aisle, and saw it was partially blocked by another customer at the far end. It wouldn’t be <em>so</em> awkward so simply mutter ‘excuse me’ and squeeze past, but he opted to take the long way around and walk the neighbouring aisle to the cashier’s desk. He reaches into the pocket of his tracksuit bottoms to fish out his wallet as he approached, avoiding eye contact to the best of his ability.</p><p>The young man behind the counter greeted him with a smile, but it was clear this employee was close to the end of his shift by the weakness in the corners of his lips and the bags under his eyes. The two exchanged goods and payment silently and so quickly it was as though the two had this routine down to a science. With a half-hearted nod, the tracksuit wearing boy took his leave, his convenience store haul in a plastic bag dangling from his fingers.</p><p>*Ring ring ring!*</p><p>The automatic chime went off again as he tripped the sensor, his sneakers hitting the concrete street.</p><p>“…”</p><p>“…”</p><p>“…?”</p><p>“Eh?” He reacted, jerking his neck around to find the source of a non-existent disturbance. His eyes set upon a small garbage bin in front of the convenience store for a moment.</p><p>“I guess anyone’s eyes would be tired after spending all day holed up in their room gaming.” He yawned, groaning to himself as he rubbed his groggy eyes. Coming to the main road, he looks to his left as a set of headlights whizzed past, then to his right.</p><p>Shaking his head clear of whatever oddity he sensed a moment ago, he crossed the road.</p><p> </p><hr/><p> </p><p>“-signia-!“</p><p>The young woman’s breath catches in her throat in shock as she instinctively freezes up. Her body momentarily a statue, she promptly scanned her drastically unfamiliar surroundings, the only sound she was able to generate a quickened, adrenaline surged breath. She quickly made note of the concrete jungle surrounding her – a far cry from the hodge podge of wooden shacks and dirt path she had been walking until now.</p><p>Making some sense of this alien environment, she exhales a deep breath.</p><p>“Where…Am I?”</p><p>Her voice was soft and quivering slightly. She mumbled to herself, thinking aloud her observations of the strange architecture of the street and the foreign writings upon the neon signs attached to the sides of the buildings. “Oh-!” She exclaimed angrily, as if coming to a realisation…Or making one up. “That thief must have used some kind of teleportation magic!”</p><p>She growled, though with her gentle tone it wouldn’t likely intimidate a child. Sighing, she pressed her fingers against the brilliant green gem hanging below the garment around her neck. “Puck, could you come out? I need your help.” She waited for a few uneventful seconds, evidently not receiving the desired response from the jewel as her brow furrowed and the corners of her lips turned into a frown.</p><p>“Ah-“ She sighed, her mind catching up with the time of day as her eyes turned to the moon above. “I didn’t realise I was inside that ‘loot house’ for so long.” At least…That was the justification she was going with. In her mind, she could’ve sworn it was still sunset…</p><p>She held her chin in thought, searching her mind both for an explanation of her sudden change of circumstance as well as a plan moving forward. With a thoughtful hum, she relaxed her posture and lowered her head into a deep concentration. “Maybe the spirits can tell me something?”</p><p>She closed her eyes…</p><p>Reached out to someone, anyone that may be listening…</p><p>Whatever ritual she was performing right now, any onlookers would find her strange indeed. Her brow furrowed again in frustration as whatever ‘person’ she was trying to contact either wasn’t listening or just…</p><p>Wasn’t there?</p><p>Finding no success, she snapped herself out of her trance. “This is…Strange.” She murmured in defeat as her glance shifted about the street she stood upon. “This certainly isn’t the Capital…No, I’ve never seen this type of architecture <em>anywhere </em>in Lugnica.” She pressed her fingers against her lips as she walked down the street, making further mental note of her bizarre, alien surroundings.</p><p>It was quiet, at least, maybe eerily so. For the moment, she was thankful that wherever in Lugunica she was right now, at least it wasn’t crowded and noisy, giving her at least some breathing room to process all of…This. In fact…She couldn’t spy a single soul on either length of the street. Sure, it was late, but even the Capital had the occasional night crawler or guard doing the rounds…And just what were these dragon-less carriages whizzing past her anyway?</p><p>Another one whirred past, so smoothly and without the crashing sound of a dragon’s feet hitting the concrete the gentle gust of wind its passing generated ironically frightened her. She considered hailing one of them to stop so she could ask for help or directions, but she didn’t quite feel comfortable enough to try interacting with anyone. Not only that, but were there even people inside these ‘carriages’? They looked so alien and…Cold.</p><p>“For all I know,” She mused, “That girl could’ve transported me somewhere dangerous. Maybe it’s best if I keep to myself.”</p><p>She continued watching any points of interest as she passed, hoping to find some clue as to where she was. But…</p><p>“This writing…I don’t understand it.” She mumbled to herself, thinking aloud to keep her mind on track as she quizzically tried to make sense of these foreign symbols she assumed was written language. “Could it be I’ve been sent to…Hm.” She held that thought a little longer as small details of certain buildings caught her attention. The oriental style of certain roofs, or the occasional decorative statue, it all seemed to match descriptions of-<br/><br/>“Kararagi?” She uttered in disbelief. “But that…Can’t be possible. There’s no way that little girl could’ve…Not this far.” She shook her head, pushing that possibility to the back of her head as she began to panic. “Oh-“ She groans, the discomfort of her circumstances really starting to hit her, “Puck, where are you…”</p><p>Her pace quickens as the stress becomes clear in her quickened breath and the faint, worried murmurs escaping her lips. She presses her fingers to the gem above her chest again…And once again, no response. She tries it again, with more pressure, and again, and again, until finally she violently taps it with her fist – more to display her frustration than really damage the artefact, so it’s a very weak and restrained strike.</p><p>“Puck! Please…!” She exclaims in a whispered voice. She takes several deep breaths, wordlessly telling herself to calm down and keep to rational thought. The last thing she needed was to make a scene of herself in an unfamiliar place where she couldn’t know the people around her’s intentions, much less their reaction to a crazy half-elf spouting inane nonsense in the middle of the street.</p><p>She settles on a meek whimper in the vain hopes someone just might be listening. “Please…Anyone, I don’t want to be alone.”</p><p>“…”</p><p>“I’m scared.”</p><p> </p><hr/><p> </p><p>She straightened out her dress as she came to a crossing in the road (only now noticing her own slightly dishevelled appearance from her small panic attack), her vision of the street ahead somewhat blocked by a building at the corner. She could at least make out the sight of a short structure ahead filled with an unfamiliar, artificial light. Even looking at it from a distance was intimidating; just how many torches or lagumite ore were required to generate such vibrancy? She had seen a similar phenomenon with those signs attached to the sides of various buildings bearing that foreign writing, but not on this level. Not only that, but the building obscuring her right further compounded this unease, as if something alien could be lying in wait for her to turn the corner.</p><p>She stands at a pause, unsure what to do. She could in theory cross to the other side of the street to the left, giving her some distance should something leap out at her as she approaches, but…Those dragon-less carriages move <em>very</em> fast, are <em>very</em> quiet in comparison to the vehicles she’s used to, and she has no guarantee they’re even operated by living, sentient beings to begin with. An image of her being crushed under the uncaring wheels of an automated dragon-less carriage flashes in her mind, before she shakes her head clear of that idea.</p><p>“I can’t contact Puck or any lesser spirits, so there’s no guarantee I can even use any magic to defend myself with, either.” She ponders aloud, further cementing her weakened position. “It’s not possible that thief girl had the strength to sever my connection to the spirits, so something else…”</p><p>Her thoughts trail off as she stops speaking them. After her outburst minutes prior, she’s clearly had some time to calm herself as she crosses her arms in concentration. “Maybe someone else is the culprit of this? Perhaps the thief had a skilled magic user lying in wait to send me away, preventing me from giving chase should she run away. To use such potent teleportation magic, though…”</p><p>She loses herself in thought, again ruminating over what little information she has and the events that lead her here.</p><p>“That girl, the thief…She couldn’t have been any older than a teenager. And she was just a petty thief from the slums…It doesn’t make any sense that she would’ve been able to teleport me here. That kind of magic is far too ancient and obscure for someone like her to have learned it.”</p><p>She ponders. The only example of ‘teleportation’ she has encountered is that used by the curious girl in an extravagant dress she occasionally sees around the mansion, used to keep prying eyes out of her private library. Whoever this thief is, she is without a doubt nowhere near the level of the moody guardian of the Forbidden Library.</p><p>“Perhaps…The elderly giant? He seemed surprisingly intelligent, despite his thuggish appearance…”</p><p>The girl stays her tongue, catching herself out of guilt for so casually speaking ill of another. In truth, she remembers that old man to be quite amicable. She naturally recalls how close he kept his massive club, and his readied stance made it clear he was prepared for a fight at a moment’s notice, but…</p><p>“They didn’t seem like the types of people who would do bad things for the sake of it.”</p><p>She wasn’t what you would call “worldly”, and very often castes, factions and other social norms and their subtle ques would go over her head. She wasn’t ignorant to the average man’s struggle, though, and nowhere had this been made more obvious to her than the slums she more and more preferred to this cold, concrete world.</p><p>“I don’t hate that thief, or the old man protecting her…And maybe they didn’t do this, but…”</p><p>Her thoughts trail off as she puts off her approach up the street as long as she can. She continues running the past few hours’ events through her head, poking at every minute detail of her memory for clues on how she could have ended up here. Did she overlook something? Was there a tell for a spellcaster who may have been lying in wait? Maybe if she hadn’t been so hasty, she wouldn’t be in this situation in the first place?</p><p>“I should’ve just listened to Roswaal.”</p><p>She exhales a sigh, wordlessly scorning herself. With a new wave of self-loathing entering her thoughts, her mind goes even further off tra-</p><p>“-!”</p><p>A figure turns the corner at the far end of the street. In a panic, the girl doesn’t even immediately recognize them as human, and second by second she finds herself running out of time to consider her next move as they approach her.</p><p>As far as threatening elements go, this person doesn’t seem like one. She notes his meek appearance and his gaze glued to the ground – perhaps it reminds her of her own behaviour these past few minutes…A desperation to avoid drawing attention to one’s self.</p><p>Forcing herself to act natural, the girl opts to put off social interaction for just a bit longer. She breaks into a power walk, dropping all fear of whatever might be around the next corner – whoever this person might be, they didn’t seem to have trouble on the next street, so why should she be afraid? She positions herself on the opposite side of the sidewalk parallel to the stranger and holds her breath as the two pass by each other.</p><p>In the moment they pass, she takes many mental notes. His clothes are peculiar – they seem refined and clean, not a set of rags like those worn by a commoner by any stretch of the imagination, and made of a material she hadn’t seen before. His black hair, too, though unkempt, was clean and deliberate. In his free hand not stuffed in his pocket, he carried a small bag made of another material she wasn’t familiar with. His eyes, though she couldn’t get a good luck at them, were wide and scary looking from this angle.</p><p>That was about all the information she could gather in the instant, and in all her staring in the moment  it did seem like the boy’s gaze shifted upon her as she watched him from the corner of her eye so maybe she should stop looki-</p><p>“Hey, ah-“</p><p>He suddenly stopped and spoke out to her from behind, and in reflex the girl froze up on the spot, her breath hitching in her throat.</p><p>“I really like your cosplay.”</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. Knight of the Suburb</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>A/N Hey, me again! Looks like I am gonna continue on with this story. Thanks a bunch to everyone who commented and kudos'd the prologue chapter! Genuinely, I didn't expect the prologue to garner any attention at all, if I'm being honest.</p><p>In any case, I hope you enjoy this chapter! As you can guess from how the prologue ended, Subaru and Emilia meet for the first time!</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>“Huh?”</p><p>She instinctively spins on her heel to meet the young man’s brown eyes, strained as if from exhaustion. He awkwardly shoots her a smile, his gaze veering off to the side at the brief moment of eye contact they both make.</p><p>“Uh-“</p><p>He backtracks his words, caught completely off guard by the girl’s confused look she holds.</p><p>“I just mean…I mean, it’s a great cosplay. I don’t know the character, but you clearly put a lot of effort into it with the ears and the contact lenses…And your wig looks so real, too.”</p><p>Quietly exhaling a breath, she finds some relief that this stranger is at least friendly and amicable. It isn’t until the man lets what can barely be described as a chuckle (and more accurately described as a plea for a response) that she realises she’s holding a doe-eyed stare to Kararagi and back. What did he say? Her ears? Wig? Out of reflex, she runs a hand down her long, flowing silver hair that reaches her lower back.</p><p>“Uhm, sorry…I don’t know what a ‘cosplay’ is, but I’m not wearing a wig…”</p><p>So is her response. There were likely a many more useful things she could have said, but evidently the girl is far too polite than to ignore whatever this stranger is talking about. The stranger in question tilts his head slightly, his lips frantically curling at the corners in all manner of smiles, from amused to confused and everything between.</p><p>“Damn…You’ve even got the fantasy elf-girl act down, too. That’s awesome.”</p><p>“Act…?”</p><p>Sliding the small bag’s handles up the length of his arm to free up his hand, the boy suddenly slaps his cheeks and rears himself up with an ‘Okay!’</p><p>“I can play along, I bet all my isekai manga reading experience has been leading to this precise moment…!”</p><p>He grins, holding his chin in a dastardly manner. Closing his eyes in a moment of thought, the elf-eared girl raises a hand to interject-</p><p>“Sorry, I don’t know what you’re talking about, but I was wondering if you could help-“</p><p>-When he suddenly bursts into a song and dance to further confuse this scenario.</p><p>“My name is Natsuki Subaru! A lowly knight in service to this kingdom! What I lack in skill and experience I make up for in determination and loyalty to fair maidens everywhere!”</p><p>“Ah-!”</p><p>He continues, giving the girl no opportunity to diffuse his ramblings. He triumphantly raises his arm to the sky, his finger pointing to the heavens themselves.</p><p>“And speaking of fair maidens…”</p><p>His menacing grin returns as he lowers his posture and directs his finger-point to the so-called fair maiden in front of him.</p><p>“I have come to you to offer you my sword! By my life, I will defend you, on my name, and on my family’s name! And on that note…”</p><p>His teeth show as his smile can’t be contained to just his lips. The so-called knight presents his hand, as if offering a handshake, before suddenly snapping his fingers in a dramatic fashion.</p><p>“Tell me <em>your</em> name, o fair maiden.”</p><p>There’s a pause. A long pause. An awkward silence that, even socially inept as she is, the elf-girl can feel the tension in the air. Her gaze naturally locks to the “knight’s” presented hand that continues to hold its position in front of her, waiting for a response. Unfortunately for him, his “fair maiden” struggles to make sense of what he even said in the first place.</p><p>What did he say? He mentioned he was a knight-</p><p>“Oh-!” She blurts out, having found an answer for his display. “You’re a knight? Maybe you <em>can</em> help me!”</p><p>She smiles, perhaps the first smile she’s been able to muster since finding herself in this place. The “knight”, Subaru, backs down somewhat at her pleased expression, a faint shade of red overtaking his face as if to say, ‘wait, that worked?’</p><p>“My name is Emilia.”</p><p>She could swear she just heard a low gasp in excitement escape Subaru’s lips. Perhaps at the fact she so willingly gave her name, or because the small amount of sarcasm and self-awareness in his introduction was not present at all in Emilia’s.</p><p>“Emilia…” Subaru mumbles the name back to himself.</p><p>“It’s…Really embarrassing to say, but I’m lost. Where am I?”</p><p>She asks her question so frankly that Subaru spends a moment taken aback. He arches an eyebrow and, as if gaining the awareness that he’s been staring top to bottom of Emilia, directs his gaze to the street surrounding them.</p><p>“Well! Well…You’re on Takani Street right now. Uh-“ He directs his thumb over his shoulder. “-The nearest train station is that way, you can’t miss it.”</p><p>Emilia tilts her head quizzically.</p><p>“Sorry…I don’t know what a ‘train’ is.”</p><p>Subaru opens his mouth in astonishment, his eyes widening as he lets a quiet ‘whoa’ escape.</p><p>“You’re incredibly good at this.” He compliments; though, Emilia isn’t exactly sure what he’s complimenting, she smiles a half-hearted smile in gratitude nonetheless.</p><p>“Good…At what? You’ve been saying some very strange things, Sir Subaru.”</p><p>“The whole ‘cute fantasy elf’ character you’re playing!” Subaru motions his arms in an exaggerated manner to point out Emilia’s clothes, hair and ears. “The robes look so genuine, and I have no idea how you made those ears look so real and- Wait…Did you just call me ‘Sir Subaru’?”</p><p>Emilia gives the boy a bewildered look as he catches himself mid-sentence.</p><p>“Well…You did just say you were a knight, right?”</p><p>Subaru palms his own face, scolding himself in a groan. “I can’t compete with that! As high as my otaku levels are, even I can’t help but break character in my own shame!”</p><p>His posture and arms droop dramatically and Emilia presses two fingers to her lips out of concern she said something wrong. Honestly speaking, the girl had half a mind to simply apologise, turn around and walk away. But…Something kept her in place. Maybe it was her kind, patient nature, or maybe it was a fear that not everyone in this place would be quite so open to friendly conversation as this apparent knight named Natsuki Subaru.</p><p>“Okay!” The boy apparently finds his confidence once more as he crosses his arm over his chest with a closed fist. “I deeply apologise for my poor conduct, Lady Emilia! Please, if you could find it in your noble heart to forgive me, this lowly knight will offer his unconditional support and services!”</p><p>Emilia finds herself losing her patience, finally. Her brow furrows, and her cheeks puff out into a cute pout.</p><p>“Please calm down, Sir Subaru! Honestly, you’re acting unlike any other knight I’ve ever met or heard about.”</p><p>Her comment seems to sting Subaru somewhat as his eyebrows soften and a gentle ‘sorry’ escapes his lips. Noting this and the guilt that comes with it, Emilia continues.</p><p>“I’m sorry.” She amends her previous statement. “I’m hardly one to talk, after all. I can’t even keep ahold of a simple insignia, and I’m supposed to be-“</p><p>She trails off, her tone quieting until she stops herself from speaking further.</p><p>“Never mind.”</p><p>An awkward pause takes over the two. Subaru gives her a pained expression as she criticizes herself. What position was she in to tell a knight how to act? A little girl and her grandfather were enough to outwit Emilia, and for all she knew her own carelessness and reckless decision making has landed on her on the other side of Lugunica…Or worse.</p><p>“Look…The lines between ‘character’ and ‘real problem’ are starting to blur a little bit, ‘Emilia’”</p><p>Subaru speaks up. He chooses his words carefully, and bends his fingers in airquotes at the girl’s name.</p><p>“I’ll be honest, I’m crazy confused right now. I dunno if you’re just <em>really</em> good at playing the character, or if there’s something genuinely wrong and I’m just too much of a socially awkward loser to pick up on it…So…”</p><p>He sighs, having dropped any pretence of keeping up his knight persona.</p><p>“If you’re really, genuinely lost, where do you need to go? I’m not great with directions, but I’ll do my best.”</p><p>A ray of hope. Emilia perks up as the conversation shifts her way and holds her chin in thought.</p><p>“Well…I don’t know where I am, for one thing. Only a few minutes ago, I was in the Capital, but…”</p><p>She takes a brief respite, considering her words carefully. This man may be a knight, but she doesn’t even know where she’s been sent to. Given her complicated status as a half-elf and potential candidate to be ruler of Lugunica, she isn’t ignorant to the fact that rivals in the selection will be looking for any advantage any tiny smidgen of information she provides could give.</p><p>“I think a criminal may have used teleportation magic to send me somewhere else, but-“</p><p>She turns her neck to scan her surroundings. Again, she finds this unfamiliar language written everywhere – on shop stalls, road signs, even on the small white bag held in Subaru’s hand.</p><p>“I don’t recognize this place or this writing from anywhere. I haven’t the faintest clue where I could be in the world…I’m completely flabbergasted.”</p><p>Subaru mutters beneath his breath. “Flabbergasted? Haven’t heard that one in a while…”</p><p>“Huh?”</p><p>“Nothing.”</p><p>Subaru gives Emilia a long disbelieving stare, his eyebrow raised in silent question. Emilia tenses up; she wasn’t ignorant to the fact that the mere mention of teleportation magic was difficult to believe, and what kind of situation could she have found herself in that warranted its use in the first place? What kind of criminal would go so far out of their way to use such an extreme school of magic on <em>this</em> conspicuous silver-haired half-elf?</p><p>“You’re…Still doing the fantasy elf girl act, right? Seriously, don’t make fun of me for asking! Like I said, the lines are getting real blurry right now.”</p><p>This knight, Subaru, keeps mentioning that. A ‘fantasy elf girl’ act? What kind of base level misunderstanding was happening here, right now? Emilia sighs in frustration as she comes to a potential realisation at the turn this conversation is taking.</p><p>“Okay, yes. I’m a silver-haired half elf. But!”</p><p>She raises her voice, allowing the boy no chance to comment.</p><p>“I have no relation to the witch. It’s honestly an extremely unfortunate coincidence! Please, I’m not doing anything nefarious! Something precious has been stolen from me, and when I tried to get it back…”</p><p>She exhales, her tone having grown more and more pleading and desperate.</p><p>“I suddenly found myself here. And I have no idea where ‘here’ even is!”</p><p>She holds a pained expression as she collects herself. Subaru seems thoroughly ‘flabbergasted’ himself, now, as he mutters half-words and unfinished responses.</p><p>Finally, he decides on an answer.</p><p>“Wait a minute…Don’t tell me.”</p><p>“?”</p><p>A wide grin takes over Subaru’s face.</p><p>“Okay, for real, don’t make fun of me if this is all an elaborate prank to pick on the shut-in NEET, because you’re seriously convincing me right now.”</p><p>“I don’t-“</p><p>All of a sudden, Subaru points at Emilia dramatically and exclaims-</p><p>“Were you transported to modern day Japan from an isekai fantasy world!?"</p><hr/><p>It’s been a few minutes since Subaru had his mild freak out in the middle of the street. Once again, Emilia had no idea what he was talking about; between his shock and awe at the pointiness of her ears to inane ramblings about something called “reverse isekai”, she had to stop herself from slowly backing away to leave the madman to his own devices.</p><p>But, if nothing else, the fact he seemed to at least know what he was talking about inspired her with the confidence to stick this uncomfortable situation through, at least to gather what information she could.</p><p>“Sorry about that.” The young man amends his hysterics with a half-hearted apology.</p><p>The two have crossed the street and sat themselves upon a short wall outside a nearby “convenience store”, as Subaru called it. It wasn’t a term Emilia had ever heard ever before, and even now she was saying it back to herself to commit it to memory.</p><p>“Combini, combini, combini…”</p><p>“Oh, that’s right!”</p><p>Subaru interjects, eager to educate.</p><p>“You guys probably don’t have modern store-fronts in your world, right? It must be all like…Family run stalls and open air marketplaces.”</p><p>And in one sentence, Subaru has overwhelmed her with information once again. ‘Her world’ wasn’t an implication she liked the sound of one bit, nor Subaru’s casual understanding of it. She hopes to put off thinking about it for a little longer, and lets her eyes wander.</p><p> Now illuminated by the intense light shining through the windows of the convenience store, Emilia is able to get a proper look at Natsuki Subaru.</p><p>Despite his unkempt hair and the exhaustion in his eyes, Subaru is a well-kept looking man. His face – despite his intimidating, narrow eyes, is clean and youthful. His clothes, while foreign and strange are also tidy and lacking in any dirt or grime, suggesting that his attire isn’t a simple work outfit. Perhaps he truly is a man of some status that he takes the time to ensure his appearance is so immaculate when compared to the common worker?</p><p>Having not received a response to his question, Subaru continues.</p><p>“So…Let me get this straight. You must have been in an epic battle against an evil wizard or something along those lines, right? If they went out of their way to teleport you to an alternate world, you must have been winning…So I bet you’re incredibly strong, right?”</p><p>Emilia shakes her head as the conversation at least vaguely strays into territory she can comment on.</p><p>“Nothing so dramatic, Sir Subaru.”</p><p>The young man quietly gasps at the valiant title provided to him. Emilia ignores it, and continues.</p><p>“As I said, something very important was stolen from me. I had tracked the thief to her hideout, but, well…”</p><p>She trails off, going silent long enough for Subaru to squeeze in a sarcastic remark. “That still seems pretty dramatic to me! I guess the standard is different in medieval fantasy, huh…So, after that…?”</p><p>“I don’t know what happened next. I blinked, and suddenly I was here.” She shrugs. “To be honest…”</p><p>Throughout their conversation, Emilia has been putting the small pieces of information she’s gathered together. It isn’t a pretty picture, and the more she ponders over it, the less she likes it, and she wants to probe Subaru for more info even less than that.</p><p>Her breath hitches and she feels her eyes beginning to strain in emotion. The past twenty minutes have been such an information overload that Emilia has scarcely had time to even process her own feelings on the matter. The small amount of relief she’s found in a seemingly kind-hearted knight alone makes her want to collapse into tears and scream her despair in the hopes he’ll resolve everything.</p><p>Heck, even just a simple ‘Everything will be okay’ might be enough to stabilize her emotions a little while longer.</p><p>Subaru scratches his head and directs his eyes to the sidewalk in thought.</p><p>“It’s a little unorthodox as far as this kind of story goes,” He mumbles to himself, “But I don’t see how it’s so out of the question…Well, besides the obvious…”</p><p>Emilia watches him ponder, her long list of questions growing by the second.</p><p>“Wait a minute, am I insane for even thinking this in the first place? There’s no way this is real…”</p><p>He turns to look at the girl sat beside him once again, as if to ensure his eyes aren’t deceiving him.</p><p>“It <em>is</em> a little too convincing to just be a simple act…”</p><p>Emilia feels a little more at ease that this stranger seems to be putting so much thought into her situation. Certainly, it wasn’t a kindness she expected to receive from anyone; the taboo nature of her appearance was so blatantly obvious to any denizen of the world, after all.</p><p>“Hey, listen, Sir Subaru.” She interrupts his thoughts and, becoming aware of her quivering lips, fakes a cough in an effort to hide her weakness.</p><p>“?”</p><p>“You’ve said some very strange things, but I feel like I’m starting to gain some understanding of it.”</p><p>This place so far removed from her own, with such fantastical technologies she couldn’t even begin to comprehend and a writing system that had no resemblance at all to the systems so ingrained into Lugunican text. History books and mythical tales she read occasionally spoke of ‘great waterfalls’ at the edge of the world, with many theories about what may lie beyond.</p><p>She was beginning to think more and more about that Great Waterfall by the second.</p><p>And she hated how it made her feel.</p><p>Emilia looks to Subaru with wide, pleading eyes, shifting the conversation to him and his hesitance to give a clear answer. Even after mulling things over it’s clear Emilia’s conundrum isn’t a question he can easily answer. He doesn’t seem to be ignorant to the fear and worry that’s begun to take over Emilia as he speaks matter-of-factly, without the excitement and over-the-top bravado that was present in his mannerisms moments prior.</p><p>“Okay, Emilia, I’m not really sure how to say this – this is kind of a first for me, too. I-I mean your situation! Not the fact I’m speaking to a girl-“</p><p>He cuts himself off, scolding himself internally for his loose tongue.</p><p>“Look, Emilia.”</p><p>The girl’s eyes widen further as she prays for an explanation – no, a solution to her predicament.</p><p>“In this world, we have this genre of stories called ‘isekai’…”</p><hr/><p>Emilia couldn’t believe what she was hearing.</p><p>If this man, Sir Subaru-</p><p>Okay, well, first of all, it turns out he isn’t a knight. Apparently that was just an idle fantasy of his.</p><p>So, if this man, Subaru was to be believed, Emilia had been moved to…A completely different reality? Her brain hurt just trying to wrap her head around the concept. She wasn’t a scientist by any means, but all research into the known world she had ever read about only ever operated in three-dimensional space.</p><p>You can walk forward, backwards, you can jump – or if you’re a very good magician, even fly. To put it in easy to understand terms, the world is like a giant box; you can move anywhere you want in that box, or build towns and cities, make friends,  have a life, a family, and aspirations…</p><p>It’s all contained within that box.</p><p>I mean, obviously, right? That’s just what happens, that’s how the world works. It’s so obvious that the fact Emilia had to even actively think about such a second-nature law of space and time made her feel she was losing her mind.</p><p>But what Subaru was saying…</p><p>“…So, you were just in that giant box…”</p><p>Subaru is using two small objects he fished out of the little bag he was carrying to use as a visual aid. According to him, they’re containers with food inside them. He places his finger on atop a tall cup as a representation of Emilia, then slowly moves towards the small bag that makes an unpleasant crinkling sound as he prods it.</p><p>“And, somehow…You’ve been moved to a completely different box.”</p><p>Subaru initially described it as a ‘fourth dimension’, but it was such an alien concept he had to fall back on this simplified explanation. With the visual aid, Emilia finds herself understanding the concept at least, but she can’t even begin to fathom how this could be a reality.</p><p>To say nothing of the despair she felt building in her heart.</p><p>Of course she couldn’t expect Subaru to understand her life story, (even without the inevitable cultural barriers) so she forces that lump in her throat down for just a little longer.</p><p>She stares at the boy’s hand for long, thoughtful pause. She feels her heart rate rise in terror of believing this reality, and she struggles to keep herself from hyperventilating. She looks at Subaru, moisture welling up in her violet eyes.</p><p>“So…You think this is what happened to me?”</p><p>Frankly, Emilia wasn’t aware of the sheer emotion in her voice. In her eyes was a plea, either for Subaru to tell her that her situation wasn’t quite so dire or a solution to this problem. Subaru is clearly taken aback and not used to his words having so much weight on another person’s feelings, so he tries his best to soften the blow.</p><p>“Honestly…I don’t know, this is just my theory based on the stories I’ve read that are similar to your situation, Emilia. I’ve never heard of a place called ‘Lugunica’ before, and we don’t have elves or half elves or any other non-human races in this world, so…It’s the most logical conclusion I can come to.”</p><p>“Oh.”</p><p>Well, that must settle it, right? By the sounds of things, this ‘world’ (going off the assumption Emilia was indeed in a parallel universe) is so foreign and removed from such common concepts that Emilia was used to, she is at least far out of reach of lands she’s familiar with. The fact she hasn’t been able to contact any spirits or even feel any mana in the air supports the theory that this is truly a different universe with different rules, as well.</p><p>It’s overwhelmingly impossible to process. Emilia runs so many possibilities through her head in denial: what if this man is just lying, and trying to manipulate her to gain an advantage for his faction in the royal selection? Could it be she’s in some kind of…Elaborate dream world induced by a spell she’s never heard of before?</p><p>“This is…”</p><p>She can’t even finish a sentence as the implications flood her mind.</p><p>She rests her hand on the concrete wall she’s sat upon and feels its course texture against her palm. It’s an unpleasant, cold material to run her fingers against…And very real. She looks into Subaru’s eyes, and sees the genuine concern in them.</p><p>The time spent deliberating reminds her of something: she really, really wants to cry right now. She curses so many things at once; she curses that thief for luring her into a trap, she curses whoever it was that sent her here, she even curses this boy for ripping off the band-aid and telling her how piss-poor her circumstances are.</p><p>She takes in a deep breath. What could she do?</p><p>“This must be how fish out of water feel.” she thinks to herself for comparison. Though, it’s a little underwhelming a metaphor for her circumstances.</p><p>A completely parallel dimension, separated from the existence she knew before. She felt out of place in her own world as a silver-haired half-elf, but now…Well, this was taking the phrase ‘out of place’ and making it very, very literal.</p><p>That was it, then. At least for the moment, there was no way she was aware of that would allow her to get ‘back’ to her own world. She still couldn’t feel any mana in the air, and she wasn’t in a hurry to test if she could still use magic for fear of wasting what precious mana might still be in her body that she’ll never get back.</p><p>That was, assuming there even was a form of conventional magic that existed that would allow-</p><p>Well, no. Technically, in this new reality…As far as she could assume, no magic existed. She had tried contacting the lesser spirits earlier, and heard nothing. Puck, her dearest companion and magical aid, was gone too. And now, she couldn’t even feel such a basic resource as mana in the air – An intense stress momentarily takes over her as she wonders how she’s even able to stand without such a vital essence, but figures she can safely assume it’s just another ‘rule’ she won’t have to follow here.</p><p>She exhales, and turns to her new companion.</p><p>“What do you think I should do, Natsuki Subaru?”</p><p>“Well-“</p><p>Emilia’s question gives Subaru pause. He looks away from her to consider the girl’s options. Speaking frankly, her chances aren’t great. Any currency she might be carrying on her person will be worthless in modern day Japan, she can’t read the local language, anywhere she goes she’s going to look out of place, and worst case scenario she could become a subject of international intrigue as scientists everywhere look to study her and her peculiarities.</p><p>Coming to a decision, Subaru turns to face Emilia again.</p><p>“Want to come and live with me and my family?”</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. The Happy Natsuki Household</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Hey! Been a little while since I last updated, but I gotta be honest, writers' block hit me hard in this chapter. (that's code-speak for "I was obsessed with binging Genshin Impact")</p>
<p>In any case, as you can imagine Emilia meets the rest of the Natsuki family!</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>So, this is where Emilia was at, now. Lost in an unfamiliar place, following a strange man she barely knows home in order to live with him for the foreseeable future.</p>
<p>Well, at least there wasn’t any fighting this time.</p>
<p>She thought back to the last time she was in a situation like this. Puck, her contracted spirit and dearest companion and father figure had been providing her company for as long as she could remember in the Elior Forest. It was a peaceful enough existence: there were many things she didn’t understand, and many places she wanted to explore and learn about, but at the time she was content with her daily routine.</p>
<p>As long as the fluffy little cat spirit named Puck was with her.</p>
<p>It wasn’t until a tall, eccentric magician named Roswaal L. Mathers approached her home that she realised the world was so much bigger than she could have anticipated.</p>
<p>Of course, Emilia didn’t have time to ponder such things, as her father leapt to her defence and attacked Roswaal. After a duel to shake the heavens calmed down, the three came to a ceasefire and conversed.</p>
<p>Roswaal said many things that Emilia didn’t understand, and even less of them did Puck like the sound of. But…</p>
<p>In the end, it was Emilia’s decision, and so she followed the eccentric wizard with his face slathered in make-up like that of a jester or clown to his oversized mansion.</p>
<p>‘Desperate times call for desperate measures’ is the expression that comes to mind as she looks back on it. Of course, none of that really mattered anymore, and her anxiety further compounds as she begins to think about all the responsibilities and people she’s ‘left behind’ in her own world, so for the moment, she pushes such thoughts to the back of her mind.</p>
<p>“So, uh-“</p>
<p>The young man leading her along the street interjects into her thoughts with an awkward announcement.</p>
<p>“I should probably re-introduce myself, right? Without the whole…Knight thing.”</p>
<p>Emilia directs her dazed gaze from the pavement to him. “Yeah, about that-“</p>
<p>“J-Just don’t think too much about it, okay!” Subaru rushes to interrupt, “I thought it’d make me look cool to a cosplay girl if I played along with her super cute character-“</p>
<p>The boy continues to justify himself, and Emilia’s thoughts wander. There’s that word again – ‘cosplay.’ She still doesn’t know what it means, but apparently Subaru thought she was one? Emilia resigns herself to ask about it later as Subaru calms himself, apparently satisfied with his excuses.</p>
<p>“Anyway…Hi. My name’s Subaru. And…”</p>
<p>Emilia tilts her head. “And…?”</p>
<p>“…”</p>
<p>“…?”</p>
<p>“Okay! I can’t think of anything else!” Subaru stomps the ground in futility and, apparently having used up his energy in his tantrum, sighs. “I’m just Subaru.”</p>
<p>The boy seems more than a little dissatisfied with such a mundane introduction, certainly compared to his bombastic knight routine earlier on. In all honesty, she sensed a certain…Pain in Subaru’s manner.</p>
<p>“It’s nice to meet you, Subaru.” Emilia gives an encouraging smile, “I’m…Just Emilia, I guess.”</p>
<p>Subaru’s eyes widen, and an intense flush brightens up his face. He gently gasps and, hoping to draw attention away from his flustered state, idly scratches his cheek.</p>
<p>“E.M.T…”</p>
<p>“Huh?” Emilia could swear she heard him mumble something, just now…</p>
<p>“Oh, uh-“ Subaru stuffs his hands in his pockets, “Nothing. Come to think of it, I’d better call my parents and let them know.”</p>
<p>Ah, that’s right.</p>
<p>According to Subaru, he still lived with his parents. Honestly, Emilia was struggling to place his exact age, but with that knowledge she felt she could safely assume he was still very young. Perhaps in the thirteen to fifteen range? She didn’t have very much experience with people younger than herself (or other people in general), so she struggled to pick up on subtle ques in physical stature and facial structure to help determine one’s age. Saying that though, Subaru was awfully tall for someone apparently still so young…</p>
<p>The boy in question rummages through his pocket and fishes out a small, peculiar looking device. Even stranger, it changes shape as he ‘flicks’ it forward and a glass screen of sorts lights up!</p>
<p>“Uhm, Subaru…What’s that?” Emilia absent-mindedly asks.</p>
<p>“Ah, this-“ He clears his throat, indicating his explanation will be fraught with embellishment. “This is an incredible device that allows me to communicate with people far, far away! It even has secondary functions, like making sure I wake up on time, and a built-in light source! It’s called a ‘Cell Phone,’ the pinnacle of modern technology and convenience!”</p>
<p>Emilia breathes a ‘wow’ at the sight of such a compact, but apparently powerful device. Looking back, the description reminded her of similar contraptions from her own world. ‘Metia,’ they’re called – magically infused objects with specific functionality that allow inexperienced or non-magic users to access mana’s benefits. Such advanced technology seemed to be commonplace here, however, and despite her continued efforts Emilia still couldn’t sense any mana in the atmosphere…</p>
<p>“Hey, Subaru.”</p>
<p>“What’s up?”</p>
<p>Emilia spends a moment pondering how to word this. In such a far-removed world with such different concepts and rules to her own, such talk could come off as insanity, she wonders.</p>
<p>“I haven’t been able to contact any spirits or sense any mana in the air since I arrived here. Do…You think something bad could’ve happened when I got transported here?”</p>
<p>Well, acting as though everything is the same as her own world is the decision she goes with, in the end.</p>
<p>“So there <em>is</em> magic in your world, Emilia-tan! Incredible.” Subaru scratches his head. “Oh, er- I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but we’re pretty boring here on Earth, so magic doesn’t exist.”</p>
<p>“Oh.” Emilia mutters in disappointment. So that’s the name of this place? ‘Earth.’ Subaru mentioned another place earlier, as well: ‘Japan.’ At least she had some terminology to start her research from, but with such a second-nature concept as magic being absent from everyday life, she was beginning to worry about just how difficult adjusting to life here would really be.</p>
<p>Well, actually, the priority is ‘find a way home’, not ‘adjust to life in an alien dimension’, right?</p>
<p>Just then, something sticks out that Subaru had just said.</p>
<p>“Wait…‘Tan’?”</p>
<p>Subaru waves a hand dismissively. “Ah, just trying it out. I’ve never been able to give a girl a cute nickname…What do you think? It totally fits your gorgeous visage!”</p>
<p>“Sorry, I’m not sure I understood what you just said entirely, Subaru, but if you like the nickname I’ll trust that it’s not something rude or demeaning.”</p>
<p>“I’ll accept that reaction!” Pleased with himself, Subaru turns his eyes back to his ‘cell phone.’ Emilia watches as he presses several different buttons, which seems to manipulate what the glass screen is displaying. The girl finds herself asking several questions to herself, but opts to save them for later.</p>
<p>“Alright, Emilia-tan, I’m just gonna let my parents know that we’re…on…our…”</p>
<p>Subaru trails off, his tone dropping as he seemingly comes to an unpleasant realisation.</p>
<p>“Wait…Wait…”</p>
<p>“…?”</p>
<p>“I just remembered, how the hell am I gonna explain you to my parents!?”</p>
<p>Emilia tilts her head at Subaru’s exclaimation. “Well…We can tell them the truth, right?”</p>
<p>That suggestion gives Subaru’s newfound hysterics pause. “Ah, Emilia-tan, just how pure-hearted are you? Evidently enough to calm my anxious heart and soul…”</p>
<p>“Subaru.”</p>
<p>“Sorry, never mind.” Subaru holds his chin in thought and shakes his head. “Much as I trust mom and dad, I think the ‘girl from a fantasy world’ revelation should come later…I mean, I’m just trying to figure out how suddenly coming home with a beautiful woman in tow won’t arouse suspicion…”</p>
<p>The ‘beautiful woman’ comment flying over Emilia’s head, she gives Subaru a quizzical look. “Is my sort of situation quite rare?”</p>
<p>“I’m pretty sure this is the first time this situation has ever come up in the history of…Ever, Emilia-tan.”</p>
<p>Subaru’s matter-of-fact tone provides Emilia with a new wave of understanding. Even in her own lands – which contained magic, dragons and all manner of examples of exceptional circumstances, the idea of an alternate reality seemed impossible. If it was equally as impossible here, in a more mundane world…</p>
<p>“Still,” Emilia presses her point, “If they’re your parents, they should understand, right?”</p>
<p>Truth be told, Emilia didn’t have a whole tonne of experience in family dynamics and relationships. She probably <em>did </em>have a family at some point, but as far as her memory could serve, the only life she ever knew was that in the snowy, barren Elior forest alongside Puck. There were…flashes, faces she couldn’t recognize and yet somehow found familiarity in. It wasn’t unlike waking up from a dream: You might roughly remember the events of the dream, but ultimately any details are unclear and only grow more distant as time goes on.</p>
<p>“Emilia, my parents ask questions when I eat a different flavour of instant ramen.” Subaru remarks, “I’m pretty sure they’d launch a police investigation if we walked through the door, hand in hand-“ A devilish grin takes over the lower half of his face. “-Although…I heard that in Las Vegas, spur-of-the-moment marriages are a thing…”</p>
<p>“Sorry, I don’t know what a ‘Las Vegas’ is, but you said we’re in a place called Japan, right?” Intentionally or not, Emilia sidesteps the implication of Subaru’s words, her polite and dainty attitude maintained through the sheer viciousness of the act.</p>
<p>“Shot down in flames!?” Subaru plays it off comically, even recoiling dramatically for extra effect.</p>
<p>“Subaru.”</p>
<p>At Emilia’s one-word request to keep the conversation on track, he relaxes. “Right, right. I’m thinking, I’m thinking…”</p>
<p>To be perfectly honest, Emilia didn’t fully understand why there was any need to circumvent the reality of her situation to Subaru’s family. She wasn’t completely ignorant to the fact that it might be a result of her overly trusting nature however, as she recalls several times Puck warned her to choose her words carefully around Roswaal, and even the doting maids of the mansion, Ram and Rem. Perhaps deep down, she just wanted to believe everyone would understand if she only told the truth and never went out of her way to hurt people.</p>
<p>More and more since leaving the forest however, she was learning that other people aren’t quite so simple.</p>
<p>“Alright, I think I’ve got an idea.”</p>
<p>Subaru turns his eyes to his cell phone and manipulates the screen again. Watching curiously, Emilia sees that strange writing again: So, it is a written language after all? And Subaru seems to understand it…Yet they both <em>spoke</em> the same tongue more or less word for word, Emilia’s outdated phrases notwithstanding.</p>
<p>A wave of inadequacy rushes over her at the thought that she’s suddenly unable to read or write such a commonplace writing system.</p>
<p>Subaru brings the cell phone to his ear, prompting a tilt of the head from Emilia in question.</p>
<p>“Hey, mom.”</p>
<p>And then he suddenly starts talking! Confused, Emilia reactively responds. “Uh, Subaru- I’m not your-“</p>
<p>She’s cut off as Subaru turns his head to her and presses his finger to his lips in a ‘shh’ expression. He points to the device in his hand, pressed against his ear. “Yeah, yeah, just on my way home now. Yeah, I’m fine…”</p>
<p>So this is what he meant by ‘communicate with people far away’? It’s a lot more literal than Emilia was expecting, with her only experience in non-verbal direct communication being the telepathic bond she shared with Puck. If there’s no spirits or magic in this world, however…She resigns for it to be another question for later.</p>
<p>“Yeah, so, I was calling because-“ Subaru pauses, silently asking himself if this is truly the approach he wants to go with, “-My friend from overseas is visiting, and she sorta arrived a day early before check-in…Can she spend the night with us?”</p>
<p>‘Overseas’ is another term Emilia makes mental note of to look up in a dictionary…Then she makes a mental note to learn how to read the language here so she can look it up in the first place.</p>
<p>“Yes, I said ‘she!’ C’mon, don’t make this weird-“</p>
<p>What follows can only be described as a desperate wave of justification, misdirection and talk around the core of the issue between a concerned, suspicious mother and a boy clearly more than accustomed to this kind of frantic argument.</p>
<p>And Emilia was only hearing one side of the line.</p>
<p>“Well, I’ll sleep on the couch, obviously-“</p>
<p>“Her Japanese is good! Fluent, actually-“</p>
<p>“We met in one of my online games-“</p>
<p>“I guess I forgot to mention it earlier-“</p>
<p>“She’s not my girlfriend-!”</p>
<p>Emilia held her gaze to the ground as she weathered the storm.</p>
<hr/>
<p>Emilia found this area to at least be somewhat less overwhelming than the main street she had been following in most of her time in this new world. It was something Subaru called a ‘suburb,’ and consisted of many houses clustered together in an otherwise quiet residential area. Interestingly, Emilia drew many similarities in the structure of such an environment to the slums she had been exploring just an hour or so prior. Certainly this place was much cleaner, but the unsettling quietness and comparatively shabby nature to the rest of this city remained consistent with large settlements in her own world.</p>
<p>‘Even in a completely different world, people are the same.’ Is the thought that runs through her mind.</p>
<p>“Alright, my house is just up ahead.”</p>
<p>So Subaru said, with a tone as if he were almost warning Emilia. On her right is something that Subaru called a ‘train track,’ apparently a large vehicle follows along it, so the two had to be careful crossing the track minutes prior. Based on what Subaru said, an alarm would sound and a barrier would block the road if a ‘train’ were approaching, so there was nothing to really be concerned about…But  Emilia still found herself hurriedly crossing the track regardless, turning back to make sure Subaru crossed safely.</p>
<p>“Alright, Emilia, let’s go over the plan again.”</p>
<p>Subaru suddenly comes to a stop and casually beckons the elf-eared girl, his hands stuffed in his jacket pockets. Emilia holds her chin as she ponders, running the boy’s instructions through her head one more time.</p>
<p>“I’ve just got to ‘act natural’, as you said.” She nods her head, “So no talking about magic…Or dragons…Or complicated monarchy systems. Oh, and-!”</p>
<p>Emilia places a hand atop her head and, after fumbling around for a few seconds, manages to undo her pretty braid, the now loose hair falling into place. After taking some time to mess up her beautifully styled hair, she’s able to cover up her pointed ears with silver locks. Emilia lets out a faint sigh as she runs her fingers against her newly plain style and pouts angrily.</p>
<p>“Just so you know, someone very important to me styled my hair today, so he’d be very unhappy that you convinced me to ruin their handiwork!”</p>
<p>“Wait-“ Subaru suddenly turns his head to the side to hide a distressed expression, “-A…Boyfriend?”</p>
<p>“Huh? No…Not a boyfriend- Wait, why did you ask?”</p>
<p>Shaking his head, Subaru returns to the task at hand, a faint sigh of relief escaping his throat. “Nah, never mind. So, we’re explaining away your admittedly awesome fantasy outfit as being a cosplay-“</p>
<p>“Mm.” Emilia interjects with a brusque hum, “I’ve been meaning to ask…What does that word mean?”</p>
<p>“Heh…Don’t worry about it, remind me to show you later.”</p>
<p>Subaru goes through his oddly specific plan step-by-step, laced with instruction on obscure social cues he expected Emilia to abide by. For the most part, Emilia resigns herself to let Subaru do most of the talking, delegating herself to smile and nod and, occasionally chime in with a ‘Yes, that’s right!’</p>
<p>Honestly, Subaru didn’t come off as a particularly threatening boy, so what’s the worst that could happen from a small misunderstanding by his parents?</p>
<p>Incidentally, the two had been standing before the front door to his home for a good thirty seconds now.</p>
<p>“Is…This your house, Subaru?”</p>
<p>It’s a humble one storey abode, with a small but well kept ‘garden’ (from the lack of grass and abundance of concrete, Emilia hesitated to call it so) leading to the entrance. Sidled up against the wall is yet another strange contraption Emilia doesn’t have a word for…It seems to be another form of vehicle, with two wheels and a seat. Yet another oddity of this world that the girl adds to the list of things to ask about...At first glance however, she does wonder how the thing can stay upright on only two wheels.</p>
<p>The otherwise modest appearance of Subaru’s living arrangements continues to shatter Emilia’s initial thoughts of him. While his claim to knighthood turned out to be false, she at least got the impression he heralded from a noble and wealthy background based on his strange attire that she assumed came from a place of extravagance. More and more, Subaru was coming off as…Plain.</p>
<p>It gave her a strange sense of comfort she couldn’t quite describe.</p>
<p>The boy takes a deep breath as his narrow eyes stare down the porch. “Yeah, it is. Well…Here we go.”</p>
<p>With another exhale to psyche himself up, Subaru slowly creaks open the front door. He carefully peaks through the crack in the door and, apparently satisfied, takes a step into the landing. After slipping off his trainers and setting them at the genkan (and motioning for Emilia to do the same with her long boots) he takes a step into his home proper.</p>
<p>Emilia was just slipping out of her footwear when Subaru turns the corner at the end of the corridor-</p>
<p>
  <strong>“CONGRATULATIONS, SON OF MINE!”</strong>
</p>
<p>-And in an instant, a taller, more muscular version of the young boy dashed down the hallway and tackled his son to the ground.</p>
<hr/>
<p>Emilia was at a loss for words.</p>
<p>Well, really, that was something of a trend this evening.</p>
<p>Subaru’s family were incredibly welcoming, so she wasn’t going to begin to complain about anything. His mother, Naoko, promptly got to work on making some tea for Emilia after introductions. She felt…Oddly at ease around the woman: whether it was her soft spoken voice or meek stature, Emilia felt a certain amount of tension dissipate as she introduced herself to Naoko.</p>
<p>Subaru’s father, on the other hand…</p>
<p>Well, to be honest, Emilia was still in a state of mild shock at watching poor Subaru’s comparatively small frame wrought into submission. “Wrestling” is what Kenichi called it – yet another word she would have to put some research into…Emilia was beginning to regret forgetting her journal when she went out today, to say the least.</p>
<p>Kenichi’s apparently playful and yet thoroughly brutal to look at violence only seemed to extend towards his son, at least, as he was more than cordial when inviting Emilia into his home…Even if he seemed to share a similar look of disbelief that’s been present on Subaru’s face numerous times.</p>
<p>But, nonetheless, Emilia was still at a loss for words. Make no mistake – the Natsuki household was warm, cozy and well kept, but…</p>
<p>There was just no end to the unfamiliar objects and mind boggling technologies present in such an apparently mediocre home.</p>
<p>‘The Television’, for example. After the initial shock wore off when Kenichi activated the device, Emilia had to physically restrain herself from jumping at the sight of it. There were people trapped inside this glass screen! What’s more, they didn’t seem to realise, and she was just peering into their activities and conversations!</p>
<p>And of course, she had to ‘act natural’ as Subaru put it, and feign normalcy at all of this.</p>
<p>“Here you go, Emilia.”</p>
<p>Emilia takes in a sharp breath in shock at the ironically gentle voice of Naoko, the woman in question offering her a cup and saucer of pleasantly scented tea.</p>
<p>“Ah…Thank you, Natsuki-san.”</p>
<p>As the half-elf sheepishly takes the cup and saucer, Naoko shakes her head, her gentle smile never faltering. “There’s no need for formalities, just Naoko is fine.”</p>
<p>Setting the tea set on her lap to wait for it to cool, Emilia returns the smile. “I’m really grateful for how welcoming you’ve been, I know this is all so sudden…”</p>
<p>While she had some time to ease the awkward tensions around Naoko, Emilia hadn’t actually seen much of Kenichi or Subaru in these past fifteen minutes or so beyond initial introductions after walking through the door. She wasn’t so dense as to not be able to deduce that Subaru was explaining her seemingly random appearance to his father, which reminded her that she owed the boy an apology…Or maybe a thank you? Probably both.</p>
<p>“It’s no trouble at all,” Naoko responds, “It’s lovely to meet you…To be honest, neither of us even knew that Subaru had such a close friend.”</p>
<p>Maybe it was just Emilia’s imagination, but she felt a certain implication in Naoko’s easing statement. She takes a moment to think on whether or not it would be ‘safe’ to make smalltalk like this; with her big mouth and general lack of experience in socialising, she was liable to slip up and ruin the ‘normal girl from this world’ act she’d been keeping up relatively well to this point.</p>
<p>But, well…</p>
<p>She cautiously takes a sip of tea just barely cool enough not to scald her tongue as she considers her words. “Does Subaru not tell you about his friends very often?”</p>
<p>The question gives Naoko pause, enough so that her smile wavers and her gaze trails off as she spends a moment of her own in thought.</p>
<p>“I’m sorry,” Emilia attempts to retract herself, “If it’s not a good question…”</p>
<p>“No, no, it’s okay.” Naoko’s lips curl into a smile once more, “Thank you for being such a good friend to my son.”</p>
<p>Emilia feels her heart waver momentarily. Thinking back on it, she had never really been ‘thanked’ for anything: It was always her thanking Puck for tying her hair, or one of the twin maids bringing her tea, or Roswaal for educating her on political structures. As far as she could recall, Emilia had never done anything worthy of thanks.</p>
<p>So what was this cruel irony that her first ‘thank you’ was for something she hadn’t even done?</p>
<p>Pushing that pang of guilt to the side for the moment, Emilia smiles at a loss for words. She absent-mindedly runs her fingers through her hair, both out of nervous reflex and also to make sure her pointed ears remain concealed.</p>
<p>“Do you like Japan, so far?”</p>
<p>“Mm!” Emilia hums, a sip of tea still in her mouth. She swallows it, clearing her throat to buy a precious second to formulate her next response. “It’s so different to what I’m used to.”</p>
<p>She considers speaking further, like how she can’t read a single thing anywhere, or the ridiculous scale of some buildings she saw off in the distance, or even everyone’s clothes…</p>
<p>She was already familiar with Subaru’s peculiar choice of attire, and she saw similar elements in his parents’ dress. His mother’s shirt for example, was far more colourful than would be expected of a commoner’s attire, with a light-pink stripe pattern covering the white cotton. This, alongside the cleanliness of their home, the incredible technologies held within and the healthy state of the whole family suggested the Natsuki family lived a life of luxury to Emilia.</p>
<p>And yet…They were all just so moderate and humble.</p>
<p>Naoko presses her fingers against her lips as she stifles a giggle. “A lot of visitors from overseas say the same thing, from what I gather. For all of that, though, your Japanese is just so good, Emilia. You sound so fluent when you speak!”</p>
<p>Another question comes up in Emilia’s mind. She seems to be able to speak the language in this completely different world, and yet she can’t read the writing system? And, assuming her perception the implication in Naoko’s words is on point, there must be other languages in this world, right?</p>
<p>So why does her completely detached home world speak the same tongue as…</p>
<p>Yet another question for another day, it seems.</p>
<p>“Did the two of you meet in an online game?”</p>
<p>At such a baseless question, Emilia stammers her words. “Uh- online game-? Y-Yes! Yeah, we met there, a long time ago.”</p>
<p>Tilting her head somewhat, Naoko nonetheless accepts the response. “The internet is incredible these days, isn’t it? I’m glad Subaru has his own ways of meeting people-“ She cuts herself off with a short laugh, “-Even if I don’t always understand it.”</p>
<p>Pot meet kettle, to say the least. There were several words in that last sentence that Emilia could’ve used a bit more context on. Internet? What?</p>
<p>‘Just smile and nod,’ is the action she defaults to.</p>
<p>“Y-Yeah, Subaru has been a really good friend to me,” She expertly diverts the conversation down a path she can actually comment on, “I don’t really have a lot of experience with friendships, but for as long as I’ve known Subaru he’s been kind to me.”</p>
<p>Emilia half-lies. She’s hardly known the boy in the tracksuit long enough to call him a “good friend,” but he has certainly gone above and beyond for her up until now. It was her usual expectation to be treated with scorn and suspicion due to the negative connotations associated with her race and appearance, and yet…Since coming to this world, all the people she’s met have done nothing but nice things for her.</p>
<p>Subaru offered a place to stay and complimented her, if a bit incessantly.</p>
<p>Naoko made her some tea without hesitation and speaks to her with kindness as if it were second nature.</p>
<p>And Kenichi-</p>
<p>“So!”</p>
<p>Natsuki Kenichi bellows into the open plan kitchen and living room from a separate room, the comparatively meek frame of Subaru in tow.</p>
<p>“I think I’ve bullied Subaru about his surprise friend enough, girls,” He chuckles as Subaru slips past him, rolling his eyes. “Isn’t that right?” He motions to his son (who awkwardly seats himself on the same couch as Emilia, al beit with a foot distance between them) rhetorically, earning another, exaggerated eye roll.</p>
<p>Snickering, Subaru’s father takes a seat opposite the younger generation next to his wife. Emilia has…Several questions as to what the two had spent the last quarter of an hour talking and/or arguing about, but she opts to just play by the jovial mood and let out a quiet giggle of her own at Subaru’s blushed complexion.</p>
<p>“Uhm- Natsuki-san- Er…Kenichi,” Taking a small risk and dropping the honorific, she averts her eyes around the room, “Your home is wonderful and friendly, and I’m so grateful for you all being so accommodating.”</p>
<p>“Not at all!” The well-built man raises a finger in protest, “To have come all this way from America and be barred at check-in? It’s the least we can do for such a <em>close friend</em> of Subaru’s.”</p>
<p>Kenichi tops it off with another mischievous look directed at his son, who does his best to ignore it and finally chime in on the conversation. “Emilia-tan, you must be exhausted, my room is-“</p>
<p>“Aha!” Kenichi intrudes, “You’re a terrible liar, Subaru! Pet names? <em>Tan?</em>” He places a special, mocking emphasis on the choice of nickname…While Emilia may have initially not paid it much mind, by Kenichi’s reaction and the playful, yet scolding look Naoko gives Subaru’s way, she makes another mental note to push for an explanation on that at a later point.</p>
<p>Cringing, but avoiding a direct response, Subaru continues as he points to a connecting door. “My room’s just there-“</p>
<p>“-And we’ll make sure he doesn’t sneak in during the night!” Naoko decides to chime in, showing her own devilish side that Emilia couldn’t possibly have imagined based on first impressions.</p>
<p>Subaru holds his head in his hands, his arms just barely hiding the flush on his cheek liable to set his face on fire.</p>
<hr/>
<p>A gentle knock on the door spurs Emilia out of her thoughts.</p>
<p>“Hey,” Subaru cautiously peeks through the crack as he opens the door partway, “I brought some pyjamas!” He slips into the room, holding the neatly folded nightwear in question. “They’re uh- they’re my mom’s, but both you guys look to be about the same so…Maybe they’ll fit?”</p>
<p>Emilia smiles in gratitude as he approaches, pulling a strange looking chair on wheels out from his desk to sit opposite the bed she was sat upon.</p>
<p>“Your room looks really unique, Subaru.”</p>
<p>Her eyes had already been wandering the past few minutes since she unceremoniously crept in here. At the various little figures lining the shelves, the bright, colourful posters across the wall depicting…Well, Emilia wasn’t quite sure. Many of the characters plastered around the room were extravagantly dressed young women, with the occasional art of some…Giant machine that she didn’t have a word for.</p>
<p>Somewhere amongst all of this foreign culture was a simple bedroom in a family home, and Emilia was at the centre of it, stealing the master of the room’s bed for the night.</p>
<p>“That’s…A kinder word than I expected for it.” Subaru chuckles as he sets the hand-me-down pyjamas next to Emilia before taking a seat. “Sorry about my parents, they’re...”</p>
<p>“They’re wonderful.” Emilia interjects matter-of-factly.</p>
<p>Subaru arches an eyebrow. “Eh?”</p>
<p>“They’ve been so kind and accommodating for me, just like you. It’s…A little strange, and I didn’t like lying about some things, but I seldom meet people who treat me so-“</p>
<p>Emilia stays her tongue, a stop so sudden that an awkward pause follows it. Subaru ultimately shrugs his shoulders, figuring it’s not worth pushing the subject as he casually leans back in his chair. “Well, I get that all this must be pretty weird to you, to say the least. Even I’m still trying to figure out what we should do in the long run…”</p>
<p>Finding a way home would be the ideal outcome. The sheer number of responsibilities Emilia was shirking, right now…She didn’t want to think about it, but now it was the only thing her thoughts encompassed.</p>
<p>But, even Subaru, who quickly gained an understanding of her unique predicament, had no ideas on where to go from here. That realisation at how hopeless her chances were probably stung the most out of everything.</p>
<p>Emilia starts to feel her throat tighten, and a deep well of emotion begins to build up.</p>
<p>“I think I’ll get some sleep now,” She politely implies for her companion to leave her be, “Thank you for everything, Subaru.”</p>
<p>“Ah, yeah, sorry.” He stands up and, after slotting the chair on wheels back by his desk, makes for the exit. “Good night, Emilia.”</p>
<p>And once he flicks the light switch off and that door shuts, Emilia is left with…</p>
<p>Silence.</p>
<p>Well, that and the sound of a thousand accusatory voices clawing at her eardrums.</p>
<p>She lies down, her gaze naturally falling to the carpet, dimly lit by the faint moonlight peeking through the blinds. The girl exhales deeply, finding a brief moment of respite from her anxieties that quickly crawl back into her mind.</p>
<p>What was Puck doing, at the moment? The implications of her unique and intense relationship with the feline spirit didn’t bode well in her thoughts. What if she were in his position? What if one day, without warning, it was her father figure who disappeared without a trace?</p>
<p>Then she’d be all alone.</p>
<p>But she was alone right now, sort of.</p>
<p>She didn’t want to downplay Subaru’s efforts and compassion, but she struggled to feel comfortable around other people. There was always a certain anxiety in her mind – no matter how much kindness she was being shown, or how much she was enjoying herself, she would always prefer if it were just…Herself and Puck.</p>
<p>It sounds horrible and selfish as she thinks about it, but it was a truth she couldn’t lie to herself about. Even in her own world, Emilia felt she never…Belonged. Now, she finds herself quite literally in a place she doesn’t belong: she’s an alien, an anomaly, an…Intruder.</p>
<p>She thinks back on all the promises she can no longer keep. Oaths she made to Puck, to Roswaal, and perhaps most importantly, to herself. An image of a frozen forest flashes through her mind and a sea of faces she’ll never be able to free, now. A world she once sought to improve just…Didn’t exist anymore.</p>
<p>And now, more than ever, without Puck or Roswaal or Ram or Rem or anyone to keep her true to her goal, there were…Briefer flashes. Faint images of names and faces on the outskirts of her mind. She sees a matured woman, with silver hair like herself, smiling alongside a robed man: these people she knows that she knows…And yet she doesn’t. She sees a large tree and the secluded village that it overlooks, the residents at work in their simple day to day existence.</p>
<p>And now, when she can picture these vague memories more clearly than ever before, they matter the least than in her entire existence.</p>
<p>It’s a hopeless, grim thought that could drive one to-</p>
<p>Emilia chokes up, and a pained gasp escapes her throat. The buildup of anguish finally erupts as she realises tears have been streaming from her eyes this past minute, and she devolves into a snivelling whimper.</p>
<p>Why was she here? Why now? Why when she was finally beginning to find purpose in her meaningless existence? How many people has she let down? How many people will suffer for her own incompetence?</p>
<p>Maybe no one will. Maybe her life mattered so little that her removal will barely register as a blip on the radar. Maybe even Puck will move on…</p>
<p>Incomprehensible whimpers continue to escape her throat. She buries her teary eyed, snot nosed face in the pillow and curses this world – she curses her own world, and she curses herself.</p>
<p>She finds nothing to latch onto in her mind. In her life before, no matter how bad things would get she could always confide in her father, and now she’s lying to the only people who were willing to take her in. Above all else, dishonesty was her most hated flaw but now…</p>
<p>What choice did she have? The best person she could trust right now was Subaru, so all she knew how to do was play along with another’s idea, and she couldn’t believe someone talked her into being so…</p>
<p>And now she was blaming Subaru. The first person to pay her any mind, the only helping hand she could find in this damned world.</p>
<p>‘I’m pathetic’, is the rhetoric in her head.</p>
<p>I’m supposed to be a royal candidate. I’m supposed to represent Margrave Roswaal Mathers. I’m supposed to serve as an example for my new ideology.</p>
<p>And yet here I am, relying on a child and his parents to get through the night.</p>
<p>“I should have stayed in the forest.” She murmurs,  “The universe would be better off if I stayed hidden away.”</p>
<p>Silver haired half-elf. Witch. Spawn of Satella.</p>
<p>Roswaal probably never believed in her, anyway. Ram always looked at her with disdain. Rem was only ever doing as ordered by her older sister.</p>
<p>Even Puck probably just took pity on her. No doubt, his life will be far easier now that he doesn’t have to babysit such a hopeless child.</p>
<p>And now…</p>
<p>Subaru, Naoko, Kenichi...</p>
<p>Will be next in the long line of people whom Emilia disappoints.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0004"><h2>4. おはよう！</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>A/N Hey! I'm really happy to see so many of you are enjoying this story. Genuinely, the positive reinforcement I've been seeing in your comments is unreal, and it helps motivate me to keep writing like you wouldn't believe, so I just wanted to take a moment to say...Thank you, and I hope I can keep delivering the same enjoyment you've been getting out of the story thus far going forward.</p><p>In any case, in this chapter, Emilia takes some time to relax with Subaru on her first morning on Earth, and grow accustomed to her new world!</p><p>One last thing! Just wanted to make a quick shoutout to the Re:Zero subreddit's discord server! I frequent there very often, and it's a really great community to chat about Re:Zero and generally meet friendly people. Who knows, maybe you'll see me there...</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Emilia must have looked awful, right now.</p><p>Her eyes were caked in dried tears and her complexion was noticeably sullied by how poorly she slept last night.</p><p>“A nightmare…”</p><p>She couldn’t really remember the details, but it wasn’t a pleasant dream, to say the least. As she thinks back on it, it’s a…Familiar scene, for reasons she can’t quite pinpoint. She sees blood splattered across the wooden floor and pooling around her, and she recognizes the weapons on display across the walls, as well as the vague silhouettes in her unconscious mind. A chill runs down her spine, and her hair stands on end as she plays the scene back in her head over and over.</p><p>She decides to open her eyes, and let the pleasant sunrise spilling into the room envelop her vision. A gentle groan escapes her throat as she stretches her limbs until a satisfying ‘crack’ signals she’s fully limber and ready to climb out of bed.</p><p>“I’ll have to apologise to Subaru.”</p><p>She lifts her upper body to sit up straight, and recognizes the unpleasant stain on the edge of her (well, Subaru’s) pillow as her own snot and mucus.</p><p>“I don’t want him to know I was crying, though…”</p><p>She knew in her heart that sooner or later she was going to have to learn to trust <em>somebody</em> in this world in order to get by, much less find a way home. Could she really afford to close off her heart like that forever? Didn’t she at least owe <em>some</em> trust to the boy who took her in and showed her an unconditional kindness she only ever saw in-</p><p>“Puck…”</p><p>A long winded sigh blows through her lips.</p><p>Emilia carefully lifts her blanket off to the side and sits on the side of the bed, her bare feet meeting the carpet.</p><p>“Oh. I forgot.”</p><p>Naoko’s nightwear is strangely comfortable. The pants are a gentle pink colour and made of a material Emilia had never really worn before; a thick, cozy cotton that insulates heat very well. On the shirt is more of this incomprehensible writing she couldn’t read…Which reminded her that she needed to get started on learning this system, at some point.</p><p>She stands up to have one more stretch of her arms above her head and has a look around Subaru’s room. Now with some natural light flowing in, she’s able to get a thorough look at the boy’s bedroom. There’s those cute figurines and statuettes on the shelves, with rows of books and…Huh, what’s this?</p><p>She approaches the shelf row and pulls out what she originally thought was a book, but it’s clearly not made of paper. On what seems to be a front cover is artwork of a knightly looking fellow who wouldn’t look out of place in her own world. Examining this…Case? Case, she finds indentations for one’s fingers to grip hold of…Maybe you need to open this to use it?</p><p>There’s a tiny amount of resistance, but Emilia is able to pry the case open with a distinct ‘click’ that startles her. Inside is…Huh.</p><p>“Some kind of…Disc object?”</p><p>The same artwork that was on the cover is on this disc, and for the life of her Emilia couldn’t figure out what purpose this object could serve. They clearly must be important to Subaru however, as there are many more cases likely containing similar objects lined all the way across the shelf row.</p><p>“If only I could read this text, it may give me some clues…”</p><p>Sighing as it can’t be helped, Emilia closes the case until it clicks into place and slots it back on the shelf.</p><p>“I really shouldn’t be so nosey, but…”</p><p>Emilia was a naturally curious woman. Truthfully, as she looks back on it, part of her reason for accepting Roswaal L. Mathers’ invitation was so she could see more of the world and experience the thing known as ‘civilization’ and all the discoveries the hermit known as Emilia would find.</p><p>“So selfish.” She sighs, berating herself as she approaches another foreign object.</p><p>Now, this…Emilia wasn’t even sure where to begin. On top of Subaru’s desk was a large…Thing. It had a glass screen in which Emilia could faintly see her reflection in (a detail that brings her noticeable discomfort) which harkened back to Subaru’s ‘cell phone.’ In front of this large screen was some kind of…Control panel? There were countless buttons along it, and Emilia’s initial assumption was that this may be a scaled up version of a ‘cell phone.’</p><p>She rests her finger atop a button at random, and carefully presses it-</p><p>“Uh-!”</p><p>She takes a step back as suddenly, the screen lights up, as well as the control panel! A vibrant display of colour forms an elaborate spinning pattern across all the keys that Emilia finds herself mesmerized by for several seconds. After admiring the rainbow display (and ensuring she hasn’t inadvertedly started a chain reaction leading to an explosion) her gaze rises to the screen, which on closer inspection seems to be displaying…</p><p>Well, Emilia couldn’t read it.</p><p>“It seems my hypothesis was correct though, at face value it has a really similar function to Subaru’s cell phone…”</p><p>The biggest issue now was finding a name to give these objects when asking Subaru about them. ‘Girl statues’, ‘Clicky case’ and ‘Big cell phone’ would have to do for now with her minimal understanding.</p><p>“All of these machines, the ‘cell phone’, ‘television’ and whatever this thing is are so similar to what I’ve heard about metia. But if there’s no magic in this world…How do they function?”</p><p>Needless to say, letting her childlike curiosity run wild was doing wonders for taking her mind off her anxieties.</p><p>The next fifteen minutes were similarly spent roaming the bedroom and digging through Subaru’s belongings to see what modern technologies may be hidden within or alien equivalents to items that already occurred in Emilia’s own world.</p><p>“What does this thing do- Wah!”</p><p>She yelps as a desk fan whirs to life and sends a small gust of cool air straight at her face.</p><p>“Subaru pressed this button last night- Ooh, wow…”</p><p>Artificial light suddenly fills the room, the origin point a glass bulb hanging from the ceiling.</p><p>“What could be in- Oh. Well, even in my own world I don’t think this would be any of my business…”</p><p>She mumbles, a faint blush lighting up her cheeks as she closes an underwear drawer.</p><p>“I’m sure Subaru wouldn’t mind if I just examined a couple of his belongings, right…?”</p><p>…</p><p>…</p><p>…</p><p>Before she knew it, Emilia was sat in the middle of the room, various mundane objects strewn across the floor. To the half-elf from a comparatively low-tech world, this room was a treasure trove of advanced, inconceivable technologies and convenient upgrades to items she was already familiar with.</p><p>“A pen with all of its ink stored inside of the pen itself…?”</p><p>“That spinning thing actually has a pleasant cooling effect, now that I notice…”</p><p>“A wooden sword? Maybe Subaru really is practicing to be a knight…”</p><p>“Tick, tock, tick, tock…I’m not sure what this thing does, but it’s a calming sound.”</p><p>She  certainly wasn’t being inconspicuous. Emilia’s discomfort at borrowing someone else’s lodgings for a night seemed to dissipate from her newfound obsession with foreign objects.  Granted, an intrigue in the unknown was a trait she already had in her own world, but this was something else, to say the least. She would have to make sure to tidy up before she left-</p><p>
  <strong>“Goooooood morning, Emilia-ta-!“</strong>
</p><p>The door suddenly opens.</p><p>She yelps and promptly shifts her gaze over her shoulder to meet Subaru’s sly expression.</p><p>“E-Emilia-tan, poking through a guy’s personal effects sends a certain message, y’know…”</p><p>How was Emilia going to explain herself out of this one?</p><hr/><p>Many ‘sorry’s and ‘I can explain’s later, Subaru’s room was tidy once more.</p><p>The boy’s reaction was far better than Emilia expected. He didn’t even seem to mind the dirtied pillow case – he just smiled, asked no questions and promptly replaced it with a clean one.</p><p>“Don’t worry about it, Emilia-tan. I bet I’d be the same way if I got transported to your world, heh.”</p><p>He shoots her a thumbs up and bares a toothy grin after setting one of the ‘girl statues’ back on the shelf. Notably, he was wearing different clothes this morning – perhaps they’re his own pyjamas? On close inspection of his shirt, there seems to be a graphic of…</p><p>A dragon?</p><p>So did they exist in this world as well?</p><p>Of course, Emilia had never even seen a dragon in her own world. She was well aware of the story of “The Dragon”, as it was intrinsically tied to her fate as a royal candidate, and the creature depicted on Subaru’s shirt seemed to match descriptions and illustrations she had seen…</p><p>“In fact, I think this is an opportunity to start getting you accustomed to this world!”</p><p>Following the boy’s lead, Emilia resigns herself to ask about dragons at a later point.</p><hr/><p>Now, Emilia’s next order of business – getting washed. She made a point to quickly rinse her face off in the sink (After being shown how a mono tap works) to get rid of the flakes and grime from last night’s crying. Whether Subaru didn’t notice or was just being kind by not asking, she wanted to hide that weakness as soon as possible.</p><p>She was just finishing up when Subaru returned to the bathroom with a couple of towels.</p><p>“Alright, Emilia-tan.” He explains as he sets the towels in her outstretched arms. “The bathtub basically works the same way as the sink so…Uh, yeah-“</p><p>He awkwardly sidles away and makes for the door- “Just yell if you need any help-!”</p><p>“Subaru.”</p><p>-But is stopped in his tracks by Emilia’s words.</p><p>“I’d like to have someone to talk to.”</p><p>An intense blush takes over the boy’s face.</p><hr/><p>Truth be told, among the many other things Emilia struggled to grasp in socializing, ‘decency’ was one she only had a basic understanding of. Her first clear memories were of waking up in the snow of the Elior Forest, completely nude and sat before her cat spirit companion, Puck – so, not a great start to her social graces.</p><p>She understood the concept, anyway. Sort of. She does recall on one of her first days in the Roswaal manor, being scolded by Puck for casually striding out of the large bathhouse without even putting a towel on.</p><p>
  <em>“Lia, don’t you think you’re forgetting something?”</em>
</p><p>
  <em>“Hmm…Ah! I didn’t wash behind my ears, right?”</em>
</p><p>
  <em>“Lia…”</em>
</p><p>A faint smile finds its place on her lips as she reminisces.</p><p>So, maybe it was a little unfair on Subaru to put him in this situation-</p><p>“It’s a damn lucky thing that my dad’s at work and my mom’s gone to the convenience store, y’know…”</p><p>-But, even with her exciting spelunking through a young adolescents personal effects, Emilia still felt the weight of her anxieties in her mind. To sit in a tub all on her lonesome with nothing but her thoughts for company…She knew she wouldn’t be able to stand it.</p><p>“I’m sorry, Subaru…And thank you.”</p><p>The short silence that follows only adds to Emilia’s self-loathing. With Subaru sitting on the floor outside the bathroom, averting his eyes to the best of his ability while calling through the creak in the door for conversation, she isn’t able to get a read on his mood from his facial expression.</p><p>“It’s a pretty crazy to question to ask, now that I think about it,” Subaru exhales, resigning himself to make the most of the opportunity to chat, “What do you think of…Well, this world?”</p><p>…</p><p>…</p><p>“I miss home.”</p><p>“Ah, yeah-“</p><p>“Not that your world is bad or anything!” Emilia interjects to continue, “Everything is so clean and well kept, especially in your home. I’ve always been the curious type, I think, so I love exploring new places. And you and your family have been so kind to me…There’s only one other person who’s ever shown me kindness like you have, Subaru.”</p><p>“Huh…”</p><p>A sigh escapes Emilia’s throat. “I miss him.”</p><p>Another pause follows. Emilia takes the time to open a bottle of what she assumes is the shampoo Subaru pointed out to her and lather her hair…Needless to say, it’s a much different experience to washing than she’s used to. The shampoo itself has a wonderfully pleasant scent – like a fruit, but not something she could place a name on. She wonders for a moment if it indeed might be edible with how pleasing the aroma wafting from her hair is…</p><p>Fittingly in time with her running her fingers through her silver hair, Subaru asks,</p><p>“Why was there only one person in your world who was nice to you?”</p><p>Ah.</p><p>She figured this question might come up at some point, but she wasn’t sure if she was prepared to talk about it yet.</p><p>Does it really matter if people in this world learn about her history and cultural taboo?</p><p>Well, that wasn’t really the problem…</p><p>It was just a painful subject.</p><p>But…</p><p>“Okay, Subaru. I at least owe you my trust…”</p><p>“Nah,” the boy retorts, “You don’t owe me a thing, Emilia. If it’s none of my business, it’s none of my business.”</p><p>Well, she had to tell him now.</p><p>After taking a deep breath to gather herself, Emilia exhales.</p><p>“Four hundred years ago, a very evil woman named The Witch of Envy destroyed half of the world.”</p><p>“Ah-“</p><p>“She hurt so many people, and even after a sage, hero and dragon fought her tirelessly, she still lives on to this day.”</p><p>“I s-“</p><p>“People say she doesn’t know how to communicate with others. They say she’s never experienced love for how awful she is. Even saying her name can make people feel uncomfortable or outright frighten children.”</p><p>“Wh-“</p><p>“She is the most vile, despicable villain to have ever existed. Fear continues to grip our nation simply because of the fact she lives on, sealed away in a forgotten tomb where she belongs. If there were ever an act that could bring joy to others, it would be her death.”</p><p>Emilia lets out a long-winded breath to gather herself.</p><p>“She’s a silver haired half-elf…Like me.”</p><p>It was…Strange to talk like this about the taboo nature of her appearance.</p><p>In the context of Emilia’s world, knowledge of the Witch of Envy – Satella was so commonplace and second nature, just the sight of Emilia’s visage was enough explanation for anyone she happened upon. She couldn’t hope for any of her words to reach the hearts of anyone, so more and more as she integrated into society, she just…</p><p>Didn’t.</p><p>It was regular practice for her to hide her face with magical means. Being scorned by others was a norm for Emilia not unlike…Breathing, or blinking. It wasn’t something she or anyone else had to think or talk about, it was just…The natural reflex of the world.</p><p>To be in a position where she could and had to explain this, let alone being able to have a conversation with another person in the first place…</p><p>It was…Surreal.</p><p>“I think you’re pretty as hell.”</p><p>“Huh?”</p><p>After all that, that was certainly the last thing Emilia expected to hear after such a long, awkward silence.</p><p>“Like, really pretty. Beautiful, even. And cute!”</p><p>Emilia finds herself at a loss for words.</p><p>“Seriously. When I look at you – Which I’m not right now – I see the cutest girl I’ve ever met and probably ever will meet.”</p><p>An intense flush takes over Emilia’s face. She growls Subaru’s name out of embarrassment and…Confusion.</p><p>“Sorry.” He amends himself, “I’m crap at complimenting girls, I know. I guess…I just wanted you to know there’s more than one guy who sees how awesome you are.”</p><p>But why was that? Emilia had done nothing but take advantage of Subaru’s hospitality while doing nothing in return for him, not to mention the fact that the two barely knew each other.</p><p>“No, no, don’t apologise. I’m sor-“</p><p>She lets out a sigh, berating herself.</p><p>“Thank you, Subaru. For everything…”</p><p>Emilia could hear a faint, yet distinct gasp escape the boy’s lips.</p><p>Another silence follows, during which Emilia slides herself further down the bathtub, lowering her upper body. Shutting her eyes, she dips the back of her head into the water, drenching her silver locks and turning the once clear water murky with shampoo as she rinses her hair out. Her ears submerged beneath the surface, she can only faintly hear Subaru call out “I’ll be back in a minute” and lets out a quiet hum in acknowledgement.</p><p>And then…</p><p>Silence.</p><p>She lay like this for several minutes, losing herself in the pleasant feeling of her body submerged in soothingly hot bathwater. In terms of the bath itself, it couldn’t compare to the master bathroom of the Roswaal manor, which was constantly kept to a perfect temperature through use of magic fire crystals (as well as <em>extremely</em> careful engineering, considering the explosive nature of the gems.)</p><p>But, saying that, even with the tension Emilia felt bearing over her since coming to this world…There <em>was</em> a certain pressure not present that she regularly felt in the extravagant Roswaal Manor. Thinking on it, she comes to a conclusion as she raises herself to sit up straight once again.</p><p>Water trickles from the strands of her hair, making a thousand tiny splashes in the tub as she speaks beneath her breath.</p><p>“Subaru is…Honest with me.”</p><p>She still felt a discomfort due to several factors, and she still wasn’t thrilled about going along with the elaborate lie to his parents, but the first person she met in this world wore his heart on his sleeve. His up front compliment earlier…Emilia wasn’t sure how to react. It wasn’t that she disliked it, it was more along the lines of…</p><p>She didn’t think that someone who could be so kind to her who wasn’t Puck could exist in the first place.</p><p>Roswaal, Ram and Rem were polite and amicable during her stay, but there was always a certain…Distance. She hoped she’d at least be able to make friends with the twin maids, but it was as if the <em>maids just doing their job</em> named Ram and Rem were completely separate entities to <em>the individuals</em> Ram and Rem, and not once had Emilia ever had the opportunity to meet the latter.</p><p>Of course, she already knew this. Puck was very good at reading people and warned her well ahead of time about the untrustworthiness of those three, but still…</p><p>She had just hoped that by being herself and being friendly, those barriers could be broken.</p><p><em>“Always the optimist, Lia” </em>as Puck would say.</p><p>But Emilia didn’t feel this emotional distance in Subaru.</p><p>She…Liked it.</p><p>Now all that was left was for her to take the leap and accept his kindness wholeheartedly.</p><p>She hears the floorboards outside the bathroom creak under Subaru’s footsteps, though notably she doesn’t notice him take his seat beyond the slightly agape door again. A minute later, and she suddenly hears…Sizzling? As if something were on fire?</p><p>“Subaru?!” She exclaims, clumsily climbing to her feet in the smooth, slippy bathtub-</p><p>“Nah, nah!” He responds assuredly, his voice reaching from what must have been the kitchen, “Don’t worry about it, Emilia-tan! Just makin’ bacon!”</p><p>‘Bacon’?</p><p>Just what was that boy doing out there…</p><p>Well, before she could find out, Emilia still had the rest of her body to clean up.</p><hr/><p>Emilia’s hair was very long, to say the least, with how it reached all the way to her lower back, so it took quite a while for her to dry it all – a fact Subaru seemed thankful for, as it gave him time to practice his first time ever cooking…And go through several strips of burnt bacon in the process.</p><p>Of course, Emilia never saw those failed experiments, as Subaru had already eaten the evidence, leaving only a plate full of greasy, filling breakfast before Emilia as she takes a seat at the dining room table just outside of the modest, compact kitchen. She takes a moment to take in the scent of the meat: So this is bacon?</p><p>“It smells very smoky.” She absent-mindedly mutters, her mouth beginning to water. It seems in all of her stresses and anxieties, Emilia neglected to think about just how hungry she was.</p><p>Having just finished cleaning up the frying pan, Subaru takes a seat opposite Emilia. “So you guys don’t have animals like ours? Pigs, cows, chickens…”</p><p>In line with her sheer hunger, Emilia had already begun to stuff her face before Subaru even finished his sentence. “Mm-mm,” She hums a negative tone, “I don’tch know wha thoshe are…”</p><p>Her tastebuds seem to be moving slower than her stomach, because she suddenly feels it: a wave of pleasant flavour filling her mouth. Wow! Generally speaking, Emilia wasn’t much of a meat-eater. It was certainly the toughest part of a meal for her – quite literally speaking, so she often found herself cutting her meals into tiny portions just to manage all the chewing required.</p><p>But this was…Very different.</p><p>“Thish ish sho nishe, Shubaru…”</p><p>She ravenously tears through three strips of bacon, splits the fried egg in two with her cutlery and downs the lot, before deciding to take her time with the slightly burnt toast.</p><p>“Damn…To be honest I was a little worried, Emilia-tan.”</p><p>“Hm?”</p><p>Subaru waves his hand dismissively, averting his gaze to the side. “Nothing, nothing. Looks like I made breakfast just in time!”</p><p>“I guess I was really hungry.” Emilia carefully bites into the slice of toast, holding it in such a way to ensure the inevitable crumbs fall on her plate. “I wasn’t really thinking about it with…Everything going on.”</p><p>“Heh,” Subaru chuckles, “So…How does Earth food compare?”</p><p>“It’s very…Soft, easy to eat. In the house I lived in, when we were served dinner the meat would be very tough and difficult…I never realised you were such a skilled cook, Subaru.”</p><p>Subaru chuckles awkwardly, rubbing the back of his head. “Ahah, well…”</p><p>Emilia was of course, unaware of modern food processing. In her world, many things are still done by hand – Harvesting, cleaning, preparation, cooking and so on. This presented many more opportunities for human error, and made the preparation of food a skill that required much more trained hands. A memory sticks out in her head of her first day in the Roswaal manor, and her introduction to the twin maids who oversaw it in their master’s absence…</p><p>
  <em>“Roswaal-sama, Honoured Guest, welcome home.” The twins speak in unison with a monotone voice.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>“Ah, Emilia-sama. Allow me to introduce you. Ram and Rem are my faithful servants, and will provide you the same excellent treatment and loyalty they have always shown meeeee.” Roswaal extends his final vowel, raising his tone slightly towards the end.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>“H-Hello, it’s nice to meet you. I hope we can be good friends.”</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Both maids simply tilt their heads forward in a respectful bow, their lips maintaining a neutral expression.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>“Ram is the elder of the two, so naturally it would be best to approach her with any concerns first and formost.”</em>
</p><p>
  <em>“Thank you, Roswaal-sam-“</em>
</p><p>
  <em>“However!” The eccentric lord of the manor interjects his pink-haired servant, “She is also very laid-back and prone to making mistakes, yeeeeees? While it may be best to address her with your troubles, Emilia-sama, you can expect Rem to be at your beck and call.”</em>
</p><p>
  <em>As if this had been rehearsed several times over, the younger of the two maids with blue hair and opposite bangs steps forward.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>“Yes, Emilia-sama. My older sister’s talents are best used elsewhere in the mansion, so I will handle many of the day-to-day tasks on her behalf.”</em>
</p><p> <em>“Indeed. Now, on that note, Rem, would you please show Emilia-sama to her bedrooooooom?”</em></p><p>
  <em>With a silent nod, the younger maid beckons for Emilia to follow. Taking the que a second late, the half-elf mouths an ‘oh!’ in realisation and trails behind her.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>The corridor through this wing of the mansion seemed to stretch for miles, and Emilia started to feel a slight discomfort at the lack of conversation. She had never met another woman before, so she only ever had herself as a reference for many things – appearance, voice, height…She even sometimes wondered if her pointed ears were a trait of her gender, rather than her race.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>“I promise I’ll do my best not to be a burden to you or your sister, Rem-chan.”</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Emilia's choice of nickname gives the slightly shorter girl pause.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"I'm sorry." Emilia retracts herself, "I heard that was a friendly nickname, so I wanted to try it out..."</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"...No, it's fine." Rem shakes her head. "Roswaal-sama views you as a superior, thus so do my sister and I. You may refer to me however you wish, Emilia-sama."</em>
</p><p>
  <em>The girl’s fast intake of the complicated social standing between Emilia and the lord of the mansion was astonishingly in sync. Emilia required quite the extensive explanation of societal structure and some base level political teachings for her to understand Roswaal’s intense respect of her.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>“I’m sorry, Rem. I haven’t met very many other people so I know I’m not very good at this. Either way, I promise to do my best and contribute to everyone’s efforts here.”</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Rem simply hums in acknowledgement, her neutral gaze pointed forward.</em>
</p><p>The memory from one year ago seems to end there in Emilia’s mind, as the rest of her first day in Roswaal manor turns into a blur.</p><p>As she reminisced, Emilia’s eyes must have noticeably glazed over. Suddenly realising this, she shakes herself out of her daydream and presents a smile of gratitude to Subaru.</p><p>“Thank you for breakfast, Subaru. You’ve already done so many nice things for me without asking for compensation…”</p><p>The boy waves his hand in dismissal.</p><p>“Seeing your pretty eyes light up is plenty compensation, Emilia-tan.”</p><p>“It just makes me feel so guilty, because I know I’m going to ask for your help again…”</p><p>By now, Emilia has finished her breakfast entirely. Subaru collects her plate devoid of everything except breadcrumbs and sets it in the sink as the conversation continues.</p><p>“Right. We’re gonna investigate how to get you home.”</p><p>Emilia hums in agreement, a hint of shame on her face as she averts her eyes.</p><p>“It’s supposed to be my responsibility, and if I do get home there’s no guarantee I’ll be able to repay you…”</p><p>Subaru chooses not to respond to Emilia’s lamenting, and takes his seat opposite her again.</p><p>“Well, every good investigation starts with getting dressed, I’d say.”</p><p>He was of course, pointing out the obvious fact that the two were still in their pyjamas. Well, in Emilia’s case they were borrowed from Natsuki Naoko. Speaking of whom, she still hadn’t returned…But thinking about it, the ‘convenience store’ was a little bit of a walk away, so maybe it was to be expected she would be out for a while.</p><p>Subaru continues.</p><p>“It might draw some unwanted attention if you go out wearing your admittedly awesome medieval fantasy outfit…Do you mind borrowing more of my mom’s clothes, at least for now?”</p><p>While Emilia already had a pretty good impression of the clothing in this world (the soft, fuzzy material of Naoko’s pyjama pants felt particularly pleasant on her skin) she felt guilty at the thought of borrowing even more of the Natsuki family’s possessions. There was also the fact that her robes she wore had a certain…Sentimental value to her. The garment was more or less the only thing she brought over from Lugunica, as Ram had been minding her supplies and belongings during her fateful day out in the Capital.</p><p>She nonetheless opts to trust Subaru’s judgement, and nods her head with an approving smile. “Okay.”</p><hr/><p>It was really quite fortunate for Emilia that she and Subaru’s mother were such a similar build and body type. After neatly folding her borrowed Pyjamas on her borrowed bed in Subaru’s room, changing into her borrowed clothing was effortless - It was a far cry from the meticulous measurements and days of waiting for the sewing of her outfits in the Roswaal manor.</p><p>That was of course, to say nothing of how comparatively plain the choice of attire Subaru had picked out for her was. As she slips into a simple white low-cut t-shirt, puts her arms through the cozy, cream-coloured cardigan and finally puts on a lengthy, comfy skirt that reaches her knees, she’s left with a sense of…Humbleness.</p><p>In some sense, it reminded her of the clothing she clumsily sewn herself when she lived in the Elior forest. Or rather, it was a feeling she <em>lost </em>when her clothes were meticulously designed, crafted and prepared specifically for her. She recalls Rem’s indepth explanation of such…</p><p>
  <em>“Emilia-sama, I hope this garment is satisfactory.”</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Emilia shifts her body and turns her neck to peak over her shoulder, looking over the extravagant white and purple robes she’s just changed into.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>“They’re very comfortable! And they fit really well…With my old clothes I had to tighten a rope around my skirt to make sure it didn’t fall down, and sometimes if I were moving around too much my shirt would slip off…”</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Rem gives the girl a puzzled stare.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>“In any case, Roswaal-sama specifically wanted to play to your natural appearance with this garment. He paid special mind to the colour and length of your hair, as well as your amethyst eyes when deciding a colour scheme.”</em>
</p><p>To Emilia, who’s only concern was making sure Puck wasn’t scolding her for accidentally exposing her chest or some such, much of that talk about fashion went over her head.</p><p>The plain appearance of the attire she was wearing now gave her a certain…Homey feeling.</p><p>Satisfied with the fit, she finds the collar accessory mixed in with her usual clothing. While the purple accents on it might’ve clashed with the rest of her outfit, the brilliant green gem at the front of the collar has an obvious sentimental value to her. She grips it tightly and presses it to her chest.</p><p>“I’m doing okay, Puck.” She whispers, “I’ve met a really nice person, and he’s going to help me find a way home.”</p><p>Finishing her short ritual with a longing sigh, Emilia puts the accessory on, and presses her fingers to the gem once more.</p><p>“I’ll find a way back to you, somehow…”</p><p>Giving herself one last look over to make sure she had put these clothes from a different dimension on properly (she didn’t want to take any chances,) Emilia exits Subaru’s room, and meets him in the main room of the house.</p><p>“Gosh, Emilia-tan…Do you look stunning no matter what clothes you put on?”</p><p>The boy in question had also gotten himself ready for the day, and was back in the black and yellow outfit he had been wearing last night (a “tracksuit” as he had called it.)</p><p>“Huh? ‘Stunning’? But you’re able to move around just fine, Subaru…”</p><p>His obvious flirt either accidentally or willingly ignored, Subaru lets an awkward chuckle escape as he leads Emilia to the front door.</p><p>“So, my thoughts were to trace your steps. Maybe if we go to the street where you first showed up in this world, we’ll find clues.”</p><p>It was about the only place to start, really, so Emilia couldn’t argue.</p><p>“Mm.” She hums in agreement, “I’m not very observant, so it’s possible I missed something when I was panicking last night.”</p><p>The two come to the genkan, where their shoes are stored. Miraculously, even Naoko’s shoe size was close enough to Emilia’s to be comfortable, so for the time being she would have a loan of a pair of the older woman’s slip ons.</p><p>As Subaru ties his laces, he continues.</p><p>“After that, in the case we can’t find a way to easily go back to your world, we’ll need to figure out a long term plan for where you’ll be staying.”</p><p>Technically, Emilia was only supposed to be staying at the Natsuki household for one night, then move onto her so called ‘accommodation’ that didn’t actually exist.</p><p>“I can sleep outside, if needed.” Emilia offers a less than ideal solution. “I used to camp out on some nights when I lived in the forest, so I’d be used to it…I guess it would just be a little lonely.”</p><p>“No way,” Subaru protests, “Do you know how many creeps and dangerous people roam the streets at night? I can’t put Emilia-tan in that kind of danger.”</p><p>Standing up, Subaru quickly checks through his pockets, making sure he has everything for the day ahead.</p><p>“We’ll figure something out, I promise.”</p><p>Emilia nods, accepting the boy’s determination.</p><p>And then…</p><p>Subaru opens the front door, and the morning light spills over her.</p><p>And Emilia’s first day in another world begins in earnest.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0005"><h2>5. E.M.C.</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>A/N heyo, it's me again! I'm glad to see you guys enjoyed the more laid back nature of the last chapter; Re:Zero can't be all suffering and angst after all, can it?</p><p>Anyways! In this chapter, Emilia and Subaru try to begin their investigation!</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>The drink known as ‘Coffee’ was the newest addition to the list of discoveries Emilia was making today.</p><p>Well, that and this contraption called a ‘vending machine,’ inside of which was, according to Subaru, many varieties of hot and cold drinks to choose from. Through a glass pane taking up the upper half of the machine, Emilia can indeed see many containers with colourful illustrations on them of fruits, logos and more ‘Japanese’ that she couldn’t read.</p><p>She watches in curiosity as Subaru inserts some coins (it was good to know the concept of currency was consistent across universes) into a slot on the beverage filled machine and, after some rumbling caused by the inner machinations, she’s startled by a large ‘thump.’ Subaru grins at the little jump she does, before retrieving two metal cans.</p><p>“They’re pretty cool, huh? Easy and convenient, and no awkward social interaction required!”</p><p>Subaru’s adverse comment on meeting other people confuses Emilia. While she too was socially awkward, and struggled to understand the subtleties of conversation, she always relished the opportunity to improve her skills even if she stumbled.</p><p>Subaru grips the metal can tightly and digs his thumb underneath some kind of latch atop the can-</p><p>Click! Tsss…</p><p>The metal suddenly snaps, and an opening from which to drink from is formed as a distinct hissing sound follows.</p><p>“Wow…What was that?”</p><p>Subaru shrugs, and hands her the opened can of ‘coffee.’ “Air pressure or something.”</p><p>A vague explanation, but an explanation nonetheless. Emilia accepts the beverage – it’s comfortably warm to the touch, so much so she forgets for a moment she’s supposed to drink it. Subaru repeats the process with his own drink (the click of the metal again startling her) and takes a sip.</p><p>Holding the can in both hands (both out of unease at trying such a foreign beverage and also the soothing heat warming her hands), Emilia carefully brings her lips to the opening and tilts the can forward…</p><p>“Mm?”</p><p>She makes a distorted face at such a strange flavour.</p><p>“Ahah, so you guys don’t have coffee in your world?” Subaru grins.</p><p>“It’s very bitter! Although, it’s no comparison to Ram’s ‘improvised tea.’”</p><p>Ah yes.</p><p>It was an oddity of the Roswaal mansion Emilia and Puck always noticed, but no one else seemed to acknowledge.</p><p>Put simply, the elder ‘head maid’ Ram was undeniably less talented at her job compared to her younger sister, so much so that it was blatantly easy to discern who had done the cleaning that day, who had made the beds that day or who had prepared dinner.</p><p>The intensely bitter flavour reminds her of something…</p><p>“<em>Emilia-sama, my sincerest apologies. We are out of the usual tea leaves for today, so while my sister is making an emergency visit to the village to restock, I have improvised an alternative for your morning tea.”</em></p><p>“<em>Ah, it’s okay, thank you very much, Ram.”</em></p><p>
  <em>By this point, Emilia had been staying at the Roswaal manor for several months. Her early days of awkwardness were well past her, as she had settled into a comfortable, if still distant relationship with the twin maids. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>It was nigh impossible to strike up a conversation with either of them (though Rem usually seemed more willing to take time out of her day for a chat), so Emilia still knew very little about their history, hobbies or anything beyond their professional roles within the mansion.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>While Rem may have been more willing to socialize, the older maid carried a far more confident aura. She was prone to striking a cocky grin as she presented the fruits of her labour, or sneak a sarcastic remark into her etiquette which, at first set Emilia on edge, but over time she grew to enjoy it as a ‘sign of life’ of sorts in the typically monotone maid.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Emilia brings the porcelain cup to her lips without really thinking, and takes a careful sip of piping hot tea-</em>
</p><p>“<em>Mmnph!”</em></p><p>
  <em>Her face distorts as she’s caught between spitting the putridly bitter liquid back into the cup and forcing it down.</em>
</p><p>“<em>Emilia-sama?”</em></p><p>
  <em>Her good manners gaining the better of her good judgement, an audible ‘gulp’ signals Emilia found the strength to withstand the unpleasant tea. On closer inspection, the bitter drink swirling in the cup is a distinct…Brownish green colour, and not at all appetizing to look at.</em>
</p><p>“<em>It’s very…Bitter.”</em></p><p>
  <em>She swallows several buildups of saliva in an effort to rinse her mouth of the taste.</em>
</p><p>“<em>My apologies, Emilia-sama. I had hoped copious amounts of milk and sugar would offset the bitter flavour of Roswaal-sama’s preferred tea leaves, as I’m aware you prefer a sweet drink.”</em></p><p>
  <em>Setting the cup back on its saucer on the table, Emilia clears her throat. Just what kind of fortitude did Roswaal L. Mathers’ tastebuds have to endure this overwhelming tea?</em>
</p><p>“<em>I think I’ll just wait for Rem to return…”</em></p><p>Emilia takes another sip of coffee, one that she has a far better reaction to.</p><p>“I think it might’ve just been because I didn’t know what to expect, though....”</p><p>She takes another sip.</p><p>“I usually only like sweet or mild flavoured things…”</p><p>Another sip.</p><p>“Like…Fruity stuff, for example.”</p><p>Sip.</p><p>“I guess I’m the type to put a little extra sugar in my tea, as well.”</p><p>She happily brings the drinking hole of the can to her lips again.</p><p>“But it’s really not so bad. Definitely a little bitter, but it’s a nice aftertaste…What’s it called again?”</p><p>“Coffee.”</p><p>Subaru says that with a noticeable smirk on his lips. Emilia hums in acknowledgement, before downing a big gulp of her newfound obsession. By the slight pout she forms with her cheeks, it’s evident that she’s already glugged down the majority of the can.</p><p>“E.M.C…”</p><p>So Subaru mutters beneath his breath, stifling a chuckle.</p><p>Though, it’s not a comment that goes unnoticed by the caffeine heightened senses of Emilia.</p><p>“You say a lot of strange things, Subaru. What does that mean?”</p><p>“Oh, er-“</p><p>Clearly not having planned for himself to be heard, Subaru stumbles on the spot.</p><p>“Emilia-tan, Major Coffee-addict, or…Emilia-tan, Major Cutie, which one do you prefer?”</p><p>“I am not an addict!” Emilia promptly ignores the second option with her lips forming another cute pout, “It’s just…A very unique flavour, so I’m trying to understand it.”</p><p>In jest, Subaru speaks to himself aloud.</p><p>“I wonder if Emilia-tan wants to sneakily have some of mine…But wait-! Wouldn’t that be an indirect kiss!?”</p><p>Punctuated with a fake gasp of terror and widened eyes at his own audacity, Subaru feigns an attempt to hide another laugh.</p><p>“Absolutely not.” Emilia shakes her head, “You bought this one as a gift for me, so I’ll accept it – to try and steal some of yours would be incredibly rude.”</p><p><a id="_GoBack" name="_GoBack"></a>Having dodged two of Subaru’s attempts at flirting in rapid succession, the young man relents and the two walk the suburban street.</p><p>“You showed up not far from where I first met you, right?”</p><p>“Mm.” Emilia hums in affirmation, “Near the uhm...Convincing store.”</p><p>“Convenience store.”</p><p>“Right, that.”</p><p>Subaru corrects her, a grin on his face. Meanwhile, Emilia thoughtfully holds a finger to her lips as she ponders something.</p><p>“On that note, Subaru. There’s a lot of things I’m really amazed by in this world, and I’m hoping you can explain some of them to me.”</p><p>The boy suddenly raises a fist to the air triumphantly.</p><p>“Yes! I’ve always wanted to have some cross-cultural education with someone from an isekai fantasy world!”</p><p>“R-Right...So,” Emilia takes that as an admission, and clears her throat. “There’s a lot of nifty contraptions in your world, and they remind me of devices we have in mine...But those devices run on mana. But, if there isn’t any mana in this world…”</p><p>“Nobody really says ‘nifty’ anymore...Anyway.”</p><p>With a confidence that he expected this sort of question and had prepared an explanation beforehand, Subaru clears his throat continues.</p><p>“It all started when Thomas Edison invented the lightbulb...Well, it probably started before that, but anyway...Electricity! It’s pretty awesome. I bet you guys haven’t harnessed electricity yet, huh?”</p><p>“Electricity? Do you mean when lightning strikes during a storm?”</p><p>Subaru shakes his head. “I guess that’s a no. Anyway, I’m no engineer or anything, but we use electricity to power a bunch of stuff. Then, in the 1960’s some guys way smarter than me found out you can carry electrical currents through silicon and use it to store information! And thus, cell phones, computers, and other wild inventions."</p><p>‘Way smarter than me’ was the prevailing comment, here. To begin with, Emilia’s expertise in the technology of her world was limited to ‘if it isn’t obvious, it probably runs on magic’ so she wasn’t sure where to even start on this one. She nonetheless nods her head, accepting that terminology like ‘silicon’ and ‘electrical currents’ could be researched later.</p><p>“Anyway, that’s how we power a lot of stuff in the modern age, with electricity. Like the TV, my cell phone, artificial lights, my computer…”</p><p>“I...See.”</p><p>Emilia’s puzzled response makes it clear she hasn’t really received the answer she wanted, but she opts to continue the conversation from another angle regardless.</p><p>“There’s another thing, I want to be able to study the new and amazing things I come across, but…”</p><p>“But…?”</p><p>A faint blush of shame takes over her face.</p><p>“I can’t read any writing, here...So I was hoping maybe you could...Teach me?”</p><p>Subaru grins devilishly.</p><p>“I get to be Emilia-tan’s Japanese teacher? Uh, yes please? Man, the only way this could get any better would be if you called me Subaru-sensei.”</p><p>Emilia gives the notion a moment of legitimate thought, before gently nodding her head.</p><p>“I guess that’s only fair, I would owe you the respect of a teacher after all, Subaru-sensei.”</p><p>“I was kidding! Kidding!”</p><p>Subaru’s face positively lights up, a fact he tries to hide by pressing his palms to his cheeks and turning his head to the side. Seemingly gathering his composure, he lets out a gentle sigh, before turning back to face his companion.</p><p>“Jeez...Gonna make my heart stop dead at this rate, Emilia-tan. Come to think of it...Hm.”</p><p>Emilia watches patiently as the young man holds his chin in thought.</p><p>“I just sorta realised how strange it is that we both <em>speak</em> the same language, and yet you can’t <em>read</em> our writing system.”</p><p>“Mm, yeah...”</p><p>To begin with, Emilia was still a bit shaky with her literacy, even in her own world.</p><p>She had no memories of her childhood, but she assumed she must have learned most of her writing and communication ability when she was young since, on waking up in the frozen wasteland of the Elior forest, she was easily capable of communicating with Puck and any others she sporadically happened upon in her travels.</p><p>Saying that, though, on coming to the Roswaal manor, it eventually came to light that her comprehension and vocabulary weren’t up to the standards of someone of her physical age.</p><p>“<em>Emilia-sama, Rem and I have finished grading your literacy test.”</em></p><p>
  <em>The twin maids stood in the doorway to Emilia’s private quarters, having just politely announced themselves with a knock on the door and a courteous introduction. In Ram’s hands was a small stack of paper that she presented to Emilia during the maids’ approach.</em>
</p><p>“<em>Oh! That’s great, Ram. How did I do?”</em></p><p>“…”</p><p>“…”</p><p>
  <em>Both Ram and Rem hesitate to respond. Emilia gives them a concerned look and opens her mouth to speak, though she’s a fraction of a second too late before Rem follows up.</em>
</p><p>“<em>...Just below a passing grade I am afraid, Emilia-sama.”</em></p><p>“<em>Oh.”</em></p><p>
  <em>The blue-haired maid continues, taking a step forward to emphasize her point.</em>
</p><p>“<em>But I don’t think there is any need to be discouraged, Emilia-sama. My older sister and I will be happy to help you catch up.”</em></p><p>
  <em>Nodding, Emilia gives the girl a smile – though, her disappointment is clear in her eyes.</em>
</p><p>“<em>I think that would be great, but...I thought I was at least good enough for a passing grade…”</em></p><p>“<em>It is to be expected, Emilia-sama. Due to the issue of your amnesia, we cannot be certain as to how long you’ve spent outside of modern society. My sister and I have both noticed this in-”</em></p><p>
  <em>Ram cuts herself off, hesitating to speak further. Emilia holds her gaze expectantly, waiting for the pink-haired maid to finish.</em>
</p><p>“<em>...Your outdated lingo and terminology.”</em></p><p>“There sure is some weirdness not typical to your average isekai fantasy here, huh…”</p><p>Subaru ponders aloud.</p><p>“Usually the language barrier is non-existent for the protagonist's convenience, but it couldn’t be a coincidence that we share a spoken language and not a written one…”</p><p>Thinking about such questions really didn’t matter to Emilia in the grand scheme of things and in fact, if she were thinking practically, she really shouldn’t have been bothering to devote time into understanding this world. After all, the goal that the two were setting out to accomplish today was to find a way to transport her home, right?</p><p>“Anyways, let’s see how our investigation goes today.”</p><p>Emilia nods at Subaru’s suggestion. By now, the duo have crossed the boundary of the suburb Subaru’s home is located and passed into a more centralized area. The half-elf is once again astounded by the comparatively massive buildings that comprise this area of the city - She wonders how something so tall can possibly stay upright all the time, or not sink into the ground from the sheer weight of its own structure…</p><p>“Wow…”</p><p>Taking some pride in his own universe, Subaru plays off of Emilia’s amazement.</p><p>“Modern construction practices are pretty cool, huh?”</p><p>“I can’t believe people can live in places so tall,” She nods, “The biggest building I had ever seen up until now was the mansion I lived in, and that was only…Four storeys. I think I’m getting vertigo just from here!”</p><p>It was inconceivable to Emilia how someone could comfortably live so high up off the ground. Of course, to her, up until a year or so ago, the tallest thing she could imagine was a very aged tree, and naturally she wasn’t expected to reside atop one of those for very long outside of foraging for fruits or sticks and leaves in the case she needed to build a make-shift shelter for the night.</p><p>So even the Roswaal manor was an intimidating structure to her, and during her stay she often preferred to stick to the bottom two floors. There was always a certain anxiety in her mind – ‘What if the floor collapses?’ ‘What if there’s a fire and I need to quickly escape?’ - that compounded with her social awkwardness and the unnerving effect that the lord of the mansion had on her to ensure that she never truly let her guard down in the Roswaal manor.</p><p>“But, even in the village…”</p><p>She whispers that thought to herself quietly enough that it isn’t heard by Subaru.</p><p>Naturally, a quiet, small scale hamlet was perfectly suited to one so afraid of scale such as Emilia, not to mention her naturally humble outlook on life gelling well with the simple existence of a small, tightly knit community.</p><p>But, as she had explained to Subaru earlier, integrating into any society was next to impossible to Emilia due to her unwarranted association with ‘The Witch of Envy.’</p><p>“Just for the sake of information gathering, could you give me the rundown of events leading up to you being isekai’d?”</p><p>“Isekai’d…?”</p><p>Subaru had said that term a few times now so at this point, Emilia could safely assume it had something to do with her transportation to this world. She holds her chin as she gathers her thoughts, before nodding.</p><p>“I was in the capital city of my country for the day, and I was exploring when I technically wasn’t supposed to be…”</p><p>“Oooh, Emilia-tan the rebel…”</p><p>She brushes aside Subaru’s comment and continues.</p><p>“Anyway, a thief suddenly pickpocketed something very important to me and ran off. I managed to chase her to her hideout, and I was trying to tell her to give it back to me, before…”</p><p>She nods her head, affirming that that is where her understanding of the situation ends.</p><p>“I see, I see...Did anything out of the ordinary stand out? Maybe the thief had set a trap for you?”</p><p>“It’s possible...I’m really not sure, though. It didn’t seem like she expected me to catch up to her, so I don’t know if she would’ve had time to set a trap.”</p><p>In all fairness, it wasn’t likely that many would’ve been able to keep up with that spry girl. Her agility was unlike anything Emilia had ever seen, being able to effortlessly scale walls and leap from building to building in her evasion of Emilia. More than likely, the half-elf would’ve lost track of her easily without the assistance of Puck.</p><p>“If it was her hideout, though...Maybe she had friends watching her back? Ah, maybe ‘friends’ is too nice a word...Cohorts.”</p><p>Subaru’s comment was certainly an apt way to describe a thieving ring, though even if the thief did act immorally, Emilia didn’t feel comfortable attributing such negative terminology to her.</p><p>“There was a large, elderly man as well. At first, I thought he was a bartender, but he seemed to be protecting the thief. I don’t think he did anything, though...He didn’t attack me, he was just prepared to protect his friend.”</p><p>Emilia had never seen such a giant of a man before, nor such a giant of a weapon being wielded. The crude yet unimaginably heavy and definitely powerful club was likely a weapon only its equally crude and powerful owner could wield effectively.</p><p>“Hm, Hm...So there aren’t any obvious culprits.”</p><p>Subaru exhales, having racked his brain as much as he can for the moment with such limited information.</p><p>“Well, hopefully we’ll be able to find more clues as we explore the point-of-isekai- Ah, speaking of I think that’s the convenience store over there. And-”</p><p>A figure could be seen daintily walking down the street, one that Subaru initially paid little mind to. In an instant of closer inspection, he recognized them as-</p><p>“Ah, it’s my mom.”</p><p>He raises his hand in a wave to greet his mother as she approached, a bright smile on her face. Naoko likely would’ve returned the gesture, were her hands not pre-occupied holding a pair of plastic shopping bags.</p><p>Emilia too raised her hand in a wave, far more enthusiastically than her companion and with a bright smile on her face.</p><p>She only got to briefly talk with Natsuki Naoko last night, but it was a comforting conversation nonetheless.</p><p>“Subaru, could you hold these bags for me for a moment?” Is the first thing Naoko says on reaching speaking distance with the two.</p><p>“Wow, mom.” Her son responds sarcastically, “We could’ve had something really urgent come up and that could’ve been why we came looking for you, and the first thing you ask is for me to handle your errands for you?”</p><p>“Mm.” She responds positively, presenting the boy with the somewhat weighty bags that he ultimately yields to and accepts. “Thank you, Subaru. You wouldn’t mind carrying them the rest of the way, would you?”</p><p>“You said ‘a moment’!”</p><p>“Mm.” Naoko repeats her positive response, to which Subaru rolls his eyes. Emilia unknowingly grins at the familial banter happening before her, a gesture Naoko takes notice of and snickers to.</p><p>“I certainly wasn’t expecting to see the two of you here, though. Is your accommodation this way, Emilia?”</p><p>In response to her lie entering the conversation, Emilia by reflex runs her fingers through the sides of her hair in an effort to make sure her pointed ears are covered.</p><p>“Er, well, Y-Yes-”</p><p>Subaru further confirms the bogus story, nodding his head as he speaks. “Yeah, I’m just making sure she doesn’t get lost along the way.”</p><p>“Ah.” Naoko nods, accepting the cover story. “So...Not a date?”</p><p>“We aren’t on a date!”</p><p>She covers her lips in a fake attempt to mask her laughter at her son’s flustered reaction.</p><p>“Oh, that’s good to hear. I was worried I might’ve made this very awkward for you by asking you to carry the shopping home while you were out with your friend.”</p><p>“Well, now that you’ve outright said it, it’s very awkward thank you very much!”</p><p>Emilia giggles to herself at the two’s back and forth, a reaction even she finds quite strange.</p><p>She quickly regrets drawing attention to herself like that, however.</p><p>“Ah, Emilia, I wanted to mention...Why are you wearing my clothes?”</p><p>Darn you, Subaru.</p><hr/><p>It was an awkward conversation, but Naoko seemed to accept Emilia and her sharing clothes for the day.</p><p>“<em>I mean it’s not so weird, right? Girls share stuff all the time.”</em></p><p>“<em>Oh? Is that right, Subaru? Well in that case, I think boys need to do some sharing as well. You wouldn’t mind buying an early lunch for the three of us, would you?”</em></p><p>“<em>It’s only 10am and we already had breakfast! Also, I’m carrying your shopping bags as is so I’ve done my good deed for the day!”</em></p><p>Of course, Emilia voiced her opinion that she wouldn’t have minded having another meal, and Subaru’s tune promptly changed.</p><p>She was still very hungry, to be fair – not that she didn’t appreciate Subaru having made breakfast earlier, but all of her stress throughout last night really did take her energy away.</p><p>Granted, even in her own world, she always looked forward to her meals. While Ram and Rem would often have their meals separately, the fact that they stood ready in the dining hall to meet any requests presented an opportunity for conversation.</p><p>“<em>Roswaal-sama, Emilia-sama, today I have prepared a roast with a selection of vegetables to choose from.”</em></p><p>
  <em>So said young Rem, setting the various dishes across the table before her superiors. She brandishes a kitchen knife sat on the tray, and begins cutting into the steaming, mouthwatering meat that is the centerpiece of the meal.</em>
</p><p>“<em>Emilia-sama, concerning the Royal Election...”</em></p><p>
  <em>Roswaal begins his professional update with an imposing tone.</em>
</p><p>“<em>Various officials will be visiting over the course of the next few weeks. I trust Ram and Rem have been ensuring you’re ready to meet with them?”</em></p><p>“<em>A-Ah, yes. Yeah.” Emilia nods her head, “We were just studying the history of the covenant with the dragon yesterday, and Ram says we’ll be rehearsing a script on how to speak with any officials, soon.”</em></p><p>“<em>Excellent. Most likely I will be able to handle most of the talking as I am your sponsor, but it never hurts to be over-prepared rather than undeeeeeeeeeer, yes?”</em></p><p>
  <em>As the two speak, Rem fills their plates with cuts of meat and various vegetables, starting with of course Roswaal’s meal, before graciously presenting the lord with his dinner, then moving onto Emilia.</em>
</p><p>“<em>Emilia-sama,” She inquires, gesturing towards the freshly cooked meat, “How much would you like?”</em></p><p>“<em>Oh...Just a little bit, please. I’m really not much of a meat-eater…”</em></p><p>
  <em>She still wasn’t used to be served like this. It didn’t feel natural to have someone else provide your food quite literally on a silver platter, in due part to her humble nature but mainly because of her lifestyle she had been used to up until this point.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>In the forest, Emilia’s daily routine typically went as follows: Wake up, get dressed, tidy her living quarters, forage for berries and fruits in the trees and bushes, gather firewood, before returning to her tree-home to relax, chat with Puck, and practice various essential skills her surrogate father would educate her on, like simple writing and mathmatics.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Barring her teachings and emotional support gained from Puck, it was a very self-sufficient existence, and one that Emilia grew to prefer more and more as she felt herself gradually becoming more of a bother to the residents of Roswaal L. Mathers’ mansion.</em>
</p><p>“<em>Ah, I think you would be missing out, Emilia-samaaaaaa.” Roswaal interjects as he cuts a second piece of meat from his helping, “This roast is clearly your handiwork, Rem, wonderfuuuuuuuuuul.”</em></p><p>“<em>Thank you, Roswaal-sama. I would never have been able to cook it so well without my sister’s expert advice and direction.”</em></p><p>“<em>You sell yourself short far too oooooooften, Rem. Don’t you think so, Emilia-sama?”</em></p><p>
  <em>With a hint of discomfort at commenting on someone else’s personality (especially while they’re present,) Emilia nods her head. “I think you’re very talented, Rem! You’re really good at cooking and cleaning, so good that sometimes I wish I could have the chance to help with some of the chores...But you always get them done before I can even think about it.”</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Refusing the compliment, Rem responds in her usual monotone voice. “Thank you, but it is only with my sister’s observations that I’m able to work with efficiency.”</em>
</p><p>
  <em>The maid sets Emilia’s meal on the table, before taking her place at Roswaal’s side.</em>
</p><p>“Are there many sushi restaurants overseas, Emilia?”</p><p>“Sushi-?”</p><p>In her unpreparedness, that question spurs Emilia from her thoughts.</p><p>“Uh...N-No, I don’t think so. I’ve never had it before, anyway.”</p><p>Naoko gives her a quizzical look as the three wait to be seated in an establishment so far removed from what Emilia expected from a restaurant.</p><p>Of course, she had never really dined in a public space before in the first place. Her meals were always provided to her by the twin maids, and the mere thought of exposing herself unnecessarily in public presented many difficulties, both due to her taboo nature and the political complications of her standing as a royal candidate.</p><p>Thus, she was forbidden from straying too far from the Roswaal manor unless accompanied by Ram, Rem or Roswaal himself. What limited freedoms she did have however, she did take advantage of as much as possible – Usually through regular visits to the nearby village to interact with locals (whilst wearing a magical cloak woven by Roswaal himself to conceal her true identity, of course.)</p><p>Of course, her decision to sneak away from her guide, Ram, during the two’s visit to the Capitol made a showing of just how vulnerable she really was…</p><p>A young woman standing behind a counter near the entrance way that the three are seated in calls out:</p><p>“Number 387!”</p><p>“Ah, that’s us.”</p><p>Naoko and Subaru stand up, with Subaru wordlessly motioning for Emilia to follow suite, his gaze pointed elsewhere.</p><p>What was happening now? Wanting to avoid making a scene of herself, however minor, Emilia complies and rises to her feet. She follows the attendant and both Natsukis through the restaurant, until they’re presented with their table.</p><p>“Please enjoy.” The attendant says with a smile, before tilting her upper half forward in a slight bow, not unlike the gesture Emilia often saw the twin maids perform.</p><p>The three take a seat, Subaru and Emilia on one side and Naoko by her lonesome opposite them.</p><p>Looking around the restaurant's setup, several things fall in line with Emilia’s expectations: There are of course, other customers sat at other tables down the aisle, though its a sparse population, likely due to how early in the day it still is. With this in mind, it’s a surprisingly quiet environment for such a public space, though the sounds of cooking and cutlery can still be heard coming from what can be assumed to be the kitchen.</p><p>One detail in particular catches Emilia’s eye several times, or rather, it causes her to noticeably jump in reaction. Periodically, maybe every thirty seconds or so, a plate of food suddenly wooshes past her on some kind of conveyor system to one of the other tables!</p><p>Naoko doesn’t seem to take notice at least, as she’s busy gazing at some kind of device that Emilia assumes runs on electricity, like Subaru explained earlier.</p><p>“Mm...Hm. Are you much of a fish person, Emilia?”</p><p>The older woman absent-mindedly asks as she runs her finger along the screen of the device, which on closer inspection Emilia comes to understand is a menu, just based on the pictures of food accompanying the illegible text.</p><p>“I don’t think I’ve ever eaten fish before, hm...I lived very far away from any big bodies of water, so we never really got any seafood.”</p><p>Her incriminating use of past tense that Naoko doesn’t seem to pay much mind to aside, Emilia couldn’t recall ever seeing, let alone eating a fish. She had read about certain varieties of life that dwell in lakes and ponds, like the Pardochia Fatty Bass, a fish native to the northern, frigid regions of Gusteko. Its namesake originated from the impressive ratio of fats in its body in comparison to its size, a feature it likely developed to cope with the incredibly cold climate of its homeland.</p><p>Emilia, however, had no visual reference what creatures dwelling in the water could look like, let alone how they could taste.</p><p>“I really like vegetables, though. I think that’s a safe bet for me.”</p><p>Bearing this in mind, she opts to stick to what she knows with her suggestion.</p><p>“Mhm, mhm, got it.” Naoko elegantly taps the screen several times until she’s satisfied with her selection, before teasing her son in her motherly way. “And I think I already know what you’d like, Subaru.”</p><p>“…”</p><p>“Subaru?”</p><p>His gaze is fixated...Somewhere, his eyes narrowed as he intently focuses on something neither Emilia nor Naoko can recognize as being out of the ordinary when they turn their heads the same direction.</p><p>Emilia gently rests her hand on his shoulder-</p><p>“Bwuh-!”</p><p>He shakes himself out of his trance, giving both girls quite the shock.</p><p>“Uh- Yeah, salmon I guess- S-Sorry.”</p><p>Shifting in his seat to properly face his mother, Subaru presses his palms against his eyelids to wake himself up. “Yeah, uh...Pass the tablet here, Mom.”</p><p>Taking the ‘tablet,’ he runs his finger along the screen and taps several times, before seemingly settling on a decision and handing it back.</p><p>Both girls look at him, concern in their eyes.</p><p>“Is everything okay?”</p><p>Naoko asks that, her eyebrows softening and any semblance of previous mockery evaporating from her tone.</p><p>“Yeah, yeah. Sorry, I just thought...Thought someone was calling my name, was all.”</p><p>Subaru rubs the back of his neck awkwardly. “Heh, I got kinda scared someone from middle school was here and recognized me.”</p><p>“I’m sure they’d be very jealous of you, Subaru.”</p><p>Accepting her son’s A-okay, Naoko winks teasingly, a gesture Emilia fails to pick up on.</p><p>“Don’t even go there, Mom. If I were taking a girl on a date, I wouldn’t be taking my parents along as well.”</p><p>The older woman presses the tips of her fingers to her lips, stifling a giggle. Emilia can only tilt her head, the word ‘date’ going completely over her head as she cocks a smile to play along with the jovial conversation.</p><p>Naoko gives the ‘tablet’ one last look over before, with a satisfied grin, makes one final tap and sets it back on the far end of the table. “There we go then, Conveyor Belt-san will deliver us an early lunch soon.”</p><p>Naoko’s comment (and odd decision to grant an honorific to an inanimate object) affirms Emilia’s suspicion that this highway of plates travelling back and forth on her side was how your food would be delivered.</p><p>A few seconds of silence follow. Subaru’s gaze once again trails off, his attention diverting to a place only he could see...At least, that was the explanation Emilia would go with.</p><p>“Is this your first time visiting Japan, Emilia?”</p><p>“Mm.” The undercover half-elf nods in response to Naoko’s question. Being that it isn’t technically a lie (though it isn’t the whole story, either,) Emilia feels confident in answering. “I’ve never been before, so a lot of things...Even this restaurant for example, are really strange and different to what I’m used to.”</p><p>“Ah.” Subaru’s mother pauses for a moment, before nodding in understanding. “I imagine I would feel the same way about a lot of things in America.”</p><p>Having no inclination as to what this nation she now comes from (according to her cover story, that is) called ‘America’ might look like, Emilia simply nods, maintaining her neutrality.</p><p>…</p><p>…</p><p>Subaru continues to uncharacteristically stay silent.</p><p>“Do you like to visit lots of places abroad, Emilia?”</p><p>“N-No, no. This is my first time, I think.”</p><p>The next conversation already off to a rocky start, Emilia continues.</p><p>“I mean, I usually stayed at home where my father took care of me.”</p><p>It wasn’t entirely untrue.</p><p>She did of course, omit the part about the twin maids taking care of her every inconvenience, but between daily studies Emilia would more often than not spend her time in Roswaal Manor in her bedroom, talking the hours away with Puck.</p><p>“Oh?”</p><p>Her answer seems to intrigue Naoko, who raises her eyebrows as if to silently ask further. When no further elaboration leaves Emilia’s lips however, she simply nods.</p><p>Minutes pass.</p><p>Emilia’s gaze wanders.</p><p>Subaru is still completely engrossed in something at the far end of the restaurant, but again as Emilia looks for it she only sees the staircase that the three entered the building from.</p><p>A little girl sat at a table opposite theirs is staring at her. Emilia awkwardly smiles, and the little girl smiles back, before tugging on what could be assumed to be her father’s sleeve. “Dad, look how pretty that lady’s hair is!”</p><p>Emilia gently giggles to herself at the amazement from such a cute little girl, a compliment Naoko follows up on.</p><p>“Your hair <em>is</em> very beautiful, Emilia.”</p><p>“Ah, ahah...Thank you. My father helps me with it usually, so it’s very messy today now that he isn’t around.”</p><p>She once again checks to make sure her ears are covered as she speaks, a gesture that can be easily explained away as a simple nervous tick.</p><p>“It sounds like you get along really well with your parents.”</p><p>“Mm.” Emilia nods. “Well, it’s just my father, really. I bet he’s so worried about me, ahah…”</p><p>Naoko chuckles along, her eyes briefly turning to her son with a soft hint of sadness in them before she continues the conversation.</p><p>“That’s good to hear, that just means he cares, after all.”</p><p>Emilia hums in agreement and her thoughts trail off once again.</p><p>…</p><p>…</p><p>What was Puck doing at the moment, anyway?</p><p>Emilia had noticed it already, but the meaning only dawned on her this morning.</p><p>The brilliant green gem on her collar accessory, a symbol of her life-long contract with the little spirit was still well intact.</p><p>So, the two were still linked. It’s a realisation that calms Emilia’s nerves somewhat, and she does her best to hide a deep exhale of relief at the thought of it.</p><p>But still.</p><p>He must be worried sick, right now. Where would he even begin to look? What would his initial reaction have been when Emilia suddenly dissapeared in the first place?</p><p>Suddenly, Subaru, sat on the outside seat, stands up.</p><p>“I’m just getting some air.”</p><p>“Oh.”</p><p>Emilia didn’t mind being sat with just Naoko, as the kind-hearted woman had already unintentionally eased some of her anxieties – but, it was quite strange how abruptly he announced his leave.</p><p>“...Well, alright.”</p><p>His mother seems ready to protest, but ultimately relents. “Make sure you come back! Remember, you’re paying!”</p><p>“Yeah, yeah…”</p><p>And with that, Subaru makes his way to the stairs out of the basement floor restaurant, a noticeable haste in his step.</p><p>Naoko follows him with her eyes until he’s out of sight, concern covering her face that she tries to hide with a roll of her eyes.</p><p>“I certainly hope he isn’t always this much of a handful around you, Emilia.”</p><p>“N-No,” The half-elf shakes her head, “At least, I don’t think so...He’s very relaxed in comparison to a lot of other people I’ve met.”</p><p>Again, not technically a lie, but was it really fair to compare Subaru to the drastically different background Emilia’s previous acquaintances come from?</p><p>There is of course, Roswaal L. Mathers, a very important and very rich individual with a long and respected family history.</p><p>Ram and Rem, his twin maids, expertly trained in the art of service and dignity.</p><p>And, lastly, the Great Spirit of the Forbidden Library, a young girl Emilia seldom met. Based on initial impressions however, she gathered that Beatrice was similarly dignified.</p><p>In comparison, Subaru carried a far more simple aura.</p><p>With the distinct sound of ceramic rattling about, several plates suddenly arrive via the conveyor belt positioned beside the table, giving Emilia a mild jump.</p><p>“Ah, there we go.”</p><p>With her nonchalant expression, Naoko collects the plates and sets them on the table.</p><p>“Cucumber and avocado for Emilia, salmon for Subaru, and eel for me.”</p><p>Giving her meal a look over, it was yet another delicacy Emilia had never seen before. At first glance at least, the ingredients weren’t so foreign: rice, and vegetables native to this world, how bad could it be?</p><p>“Ah, Emilia…”</p><p>Searching the table for some cutlery, Emilia looks to Naoko.</p><p>“How are you with chopsticks?”</p><hr/><p>Emilia was, to put it politely, not very good with chopsticks.</p><p>She had certainly heard of them, and it was intriguing that the exact same concept was present in certain cultures in her own world, like Kararagi.</p><p>In any case, after struggling to wrap her brain and fingers around these simple wooden sticks, Naoko eventually requested a fork from a member of staff, and Emilia was able to have her lunch with dignity intact.</p><p>“Mmm.” Emilia hums approvingly as she chews the clump of rice and vegetables known as sushi. “Food here is so tasty…”</p><p>“Hehe, I’m glad to hear it. I sometimes hear that a lot of foreigners are put off by Japanese food, but…”</p><p>Pausing to choose her words carefully, Naoko continues.</p><p>“Well, let’s just say I’m not a fan of overly greasy burgers.”</p><p>Not knowing what a ‘bagah’ is, Emilia does her usual response of smiling and nodding to keep up her act.</p><p>“But, that Subaru…”</p><p>Naoko’s eyes shift to the empty seat beside Emilia.</p><p>“At this rate, I’ll have to steal his...And we still need someone to pay the bill, don’t we?”</p><p>“I can go check on him, maybe he’s just a little tired?”</p><p>Naoko has a look on her face as if to say “No, let me,” but she ultimately nods her head.</p><p>“Please, if you could. Somehow I wonder if he’d prefer…”</p><p>“…?”</p><p>“Never mind, sorry. Please make sure Subaru is okay, Emilia.”</p><p>Sidling across the long seat, Emilia climbs to her feet and, after gathering her bearings of the establishment, locates the staircase to street level.</p><p>The restaurant has grown slightly more crowded in the twenty minutes the three have been here, but she’s nonetheless able to squeeze past anyone in the somewhat tight aisles with little difficulty. As she climbs the stairs, she’s able to recognize Subaru’s distinct black jacket and pants even from behind, and softly calls out his name.</p><p>“Subaru.”</p><p>...No response.</p><p>She reaches the top of the stairs, and tries again.</p><p>“Subaru.”</p><p>…</p><p>“...Emilia-tan?”</p><p>Having gotten an answer to her call, she breathes a sigh of relief.</p><p>“Mm, yeah. Is everything okay? Your mother is very worried, you know…”</p><p>“Wh…”</p><p>He still hasn’t really turned around to face her, so Emilia opts to scoot around herself to meet Subaru’s eyes head on.</p><p>“You’re acting very str-”</p><p>“-!!!!”</p><p>A loud shriek bellows from Subaru as he locks eyes from Emilia, and several gazes of passers by on the street turn to find the source of the disturbance.</p><p>He gasps, and fights to catch his breath amidst what seems to be a panic attack. Emilia takes a step back, caught completely off guard by such a sudden outburst.</p><p>“S-Subaru!?”</p><p>She quickly rushes forward again to rest her hand on his convulsing back, still desperately wheezing and coughing to stabilize his breathing.</p><p>“Subaru, what’s wrong!?”</p><p>Beads of sweat trail down his forehead, and a panicked shriek dominates his frantic breaths.</p><p>Finally, after what feels like eons, he weakly raises his head to meet Emilia’s frightful eyes.</p><p>“E-Emilia.”</p><p>“C’mon, let’s go back in. I think you need to sit down…”</p><p>Her heart racing, Emilia’s first priority is to get the young man back to his mother. This situation was quickly spiralling out of territory she could comfortably handle.</p><p>“W-Wait, Emilia, there’s something…”</p><p>“…?”</p><p>He stands up straight and takes in a deep breath, having seemingly composed himself. His eyes narrow into a determined gaze that meets Emilia’s, and he opens his mouth to speak.</p><p>“Just now, Emilia, someone who looke-”</p><p>“-!!!!”</p><p>He clutches his chest in pain, growling and gasping in agony once again.</p><p>Panicking more and more, Emilia feels just about ready to scream to the heavens for help...At least if Naoko hears, maybe she would be able to handle this…</p><p>Finding his composure again, Subaru slowly begins to relax his muscles, never letting go of the tight grip on his chest.</p><p>“Subaru.”</p><p>He looks left and right, as if looking for someone.</p><p>In amidst quickened breaths, he coughs out a statement.</p><p>“I think this is where you first appeared in this world.”</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0006"><h2>6. 怖いだ</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>A/N Hey! I'm back pretty soon, huh? the story's starting to heat up, and so's my motivation!</p><p>Anyhow, in this chapter_____________________________</p><p>Hope you enjoy!</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>“<b>-ove you.”</b></p><p>“…?”</p><p>…</p><p>…</p><p>A new sensation tip-toed on the fringes of Natsuki Subaru’s subconcious.</p><p>He saw himself wandering an empty existence, a black mist rolling through and obscuring everything.</p><p>That was how he would’ve described it, anyway.</p><p>It’s sorta surreal and impossible to put into a visual reference, though.</p><p>Like...Your brain is just a big system of electrical impulses all working together to process information your senses like sight, smell and touch all take in into an understandable context. Not to mention the abstract nightmare of describing what the sensation of thought itself feels like. Computer and video game analogies were Subaru's forte, but even he couldn't oversimplify that element of human biology.</p><p>This was different to that, though.</p><p>Like...That process, but in the opposite direction.</p><p>He saw himself inside the neurons of his own mind, and that in turn was a result of him seeing himself inside the neurons of his own mind, which was converted into understandable information by the information gatherers like his eyes and nose, so that he could see himself physically manifest inside the neurons of his own mind.</p><p>Maybe this was how he always felt?</p><p>Yeah...Maybe it isn’t so new.</p><p>Maybe this is...How every person feels, like, inside their head.</p><p>I mean, I’ve only got myself as a reference.</p><p>Pfft. How stupid can you get, Natsuki Subaru.</p><p>Did you seriously just forget how to formulate your own thoughts?</p><p>…</p><p>…</p><p>...</p><p>“<b>-Please-”</b></p><p>“<b>-ive me-”</b></p><p>“<b>-Love y-”</b></p><p>Someone is here.</p><p>Can you hear that, Emilia-tan?</p><p>“Are there many sushi restaurants overseas, Emilia?”</p><p>“Sushi-?”</p><p>Sushi?</p><p>Oh, that’s right.</p><p>I’m buying sushi for everyone.</p><p>I hope Emilia-tan likes it.</p><p>I wonder what kind of food they have in an isekai fantasy world.</p><p>“<b>-ov--y--u--lo--you--”</b></p><p>…?</p><p>There’s someone else here.</p><p>“<b>I lo—u--”</b></p><p>Do you guys hear that?</p><p>“<b>Su-----ru--”</b></p><p>“<b>S--baru--”</b></p><p>My name.</p><p>Who’s calling my name?</p><p>Is it someone I know?</p><p>“<b>I’m s--rry--”</b></p><p>God damn, what the hell is wrong with my ears.</p><p>...I kinda hope we don’t find anything today.</p><p>“<b>L-L-L-ove y--”</b></p><p>…</p><p>Someone is here.</p><p>Who are they?</p><p>Is it someone I know?</p><p>God, I hope it isn’t.</p><p>“<b>--ease forg--me--”</b></p><p>Oh, we’re walking again now.</p><p>Maybe I’ll find the source of that voice in here?</p><p>…</p><p>…</p><p>I hope Emilia gets to stay here.</p><p>An isekai fantasy girl…</p><p>I’m friends with an isekai fantasy girl.</p><p>A <em>majorly </em>cute isekai fantasy girl.</p><p>“<b>I love you.”</b></p><p>…?</p><p>Eh?</p><p>It wasn’t that employee…</p><p>It wasn’t Emilia-tan.</p><p>It wasn’t Mom, thank god. That’d be embarrassing.</p><p>“<b>Please, forgive me.”</b></p><p>God damn, it’s hard to see.</p><p>When did it get so foggy?</p><p>“...Subaru?”</p><p>It’s so damn noisy, too.</p><p>Everyone shut up for a second.</p><p>
  <b>EVERYONE SHUT THE HELL U-</b>
</p><p>“Bwuh!”</p><p>
  <b>WHO THE HELL IS TOUCHING ME GET AWAY FROM ME</b>
</p><p>O-Oh, it’s just Emilia-tan.</p><p>And Mom, too.</p><p>“Uh- Yeah, salmon I guess- S-Sorry.”</p><p>What’re you guys looking at me like that, for? Can’t you hear…</p><p>…?</p><p>“Yeah, uh...Pass the tablet here, Mom.”</p><p>What do I want, what do I want, hm, hmm, hm, what do I want</p><p>“<b>-Want you.”</b></p><p>Ah there’s that friggin’ mist again.</p><p>Salmon, salmon, yeah that’s what I said, let’s go with that, whatever, who cares</p><p>You’re both still freakin’ staring at me like I’m losing it.</p><p>…</p><p>“Is everything okay?”</p><p>...Losing it.</p><p>Loser.</p><p>“Yeah, yeah.”</p><p>Yeah.</p><p>“Sorry, I just thought…”</p><p>“<b>-ove-”</b></p><p>“Thought someone was calling my name.”</p><p>“<b>-----baru----”</b></p><p>Who the hell is calling my name.</p><p>...Who cares.</p><p>Better question is <em>why</em></p><p>Who cares enough to call my name.</p><p>Someone outside is calling my name.</p><p>“Heh, I got kinda scared someone from middle school was here and recognized me.”</p><p>Pfft.</p><p>Like anyone would devote the precious brain cells to commit my existence to memory.</p><p>“I’m sure they’d be very jealous of you, Subaru.”</p><p>hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha<b>HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA</b></p><p>“Don’t even go there, Mom. If I were taking a girl on a date, I wouldn’t be taking my parents along as well.”</p><p>“—<b>Please---et---see---you--”</b></p><p>Huh?</p><p>I’m starting to think this is more than just my own stupid voice in my head.</p><p>“<b>--ust once--”</b></p><p>Think about something else.</p><p>Emilia-tan.</p><p>Where should we go on our first date?</p><p>Well, assuming we don’t find a way to get her home.</p><p>…</p><p>...God I hope we don’t.</p><p>...Asshole.</p><p>I’m an asshole.</p><p>Well, this isn’t a date, that’s for sure. Doesn’t count, Mom’s here.</p><p>“—<b>PLEASE LET ME SEE YOU PLEASE LET MY LOVE REACH YOU LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE PLEASE--”</b></p><p>“<b>___________”</b></p><p>“<b>___________”</b></p><p>“<b>I’m sorry.”</b></p><p>…</p><p>…</p><p>Jeez, fine.</p><p>Dunno what you think I’m gonna see, though.</p><p>“I’m just getting some air.”</p><p>“Oh.”</p><p>Yeah, it pains me too, Emilia-tan.</p><p>Stupid Subaru Head Voice won’t shut up, though.</p><p>“...Well, alright.”</p><p>Thanks for your permission, mother.</p><p>Alright, let’s see what this stupid crap is.</p><p>Excuse me.</p><p>Sorry.</p><p>Lemme just squeeze past here, thanks.</p><p>‘Scuse me.</p><p>Blegh, stairs…</p><p>Already did my workout for today.</p><p>Gotta build up those muscles for Emilia-tan.</p><p>Yeah, just watch. Gonna up it to...One-fifty reps a day.</p><p>Work on my sword skills some more. She’s from an isekai fantasy world, so I bet she’ll approve.</p><p>And it all starts with these damn stairs.</p><p>…</p><p>…</p><p>...</p><p>Yeah.</p><p>See?</p><p>Just a crowded street.</p><p>Thanks, brain. Here’s the morning rush hour for you. Satisfied?</p><p>Now-</p><p>…</p><p>H-Hey.</p><p>Whoa, hey. What...The hell is this.</p><p>“<b>Ah…”</b></p><p>“...”</p><p>
  <strong>"I got to see you..."</strong>
</p><p>"..."</p><p>“<b>I love you.”</b></p><p>...</p><p>Is anyone else seeing this?</p><p>Emilia.</p><p>…?</p><p>Emilia?</p><p>
  <strong>"I'm sorry."</strong>
</p><p>...?</p><p>
  <strong>"Please, forgive me."</strong>
</p><p>Sorry...?</p><p>“<b>I’m sorry. Please forgive me. I’m sorry. Please forgive me. imsorryimsorryimsorryimsorryimsorryimsorryimsorryimsorryimsorryimsorryimsorryimsorryimsorryimsorryimsorryimsorryimsorryimsorryimsorryimsorry imsorryimsorryimsorryimsorryimsorryimsorryimsorryimsorryimsorryimsorryimsorryimsorryimsorryimsorryimsorryimsorryimsorryimsorryimsorryimsorry imsorryimsorryimsorryimsorryimsorryimsorryimsorryimsorryimsorryimsorryimsorryimsorryimsorryimsorryimsorryimsorryimsorryimsorryimsorryimsorry imsorryimsorryimsorryimsorryimsorryimsorryimsorryimsorryimsorryimsorryimsorryimsorryimsorryimsorryimsorryimsorryimsorryimsorryimsorryimsorry imsorryimsorryimsorryimsorryimsorryimsorryimsorryimsorryimsorryimsorry”</b></p><p>Emilia.</p><p>Emilia.</p><p>Weren’t you…</p><p>How did you…</p><p>Never mind, what is…</p><p>What’s wrong?</p><p>“<b>thisisntwhatiwantedthisisntwhatiwantedthisisntwhatiwantedthisisntwhatiwanted”</b></p><p>N-No, Emilia, it’s okay. We’ll find a way for you to get home, I promise.</p><p>Here, take my hand.</p><p>It’s okay.</p><p>Just you watch, Natsuki Subaru will-</p><p>“—HGK-”</p><p>“<b>Ah…”</b></p><p>“<b>I…”</b></p><p>whatishappeningwhatishappeningwhatishappeningwhatishappeningwhatishappeningwhatishappeningwhatishappeningwhatishappeningwhatishappeningwhatishappeningwhatishappeningwhatishappeningwhatishappeningwhatishappeningwhatishappeningwhatishappeningwhatishappeningwhatishappening<b>GET AWAY FROM ME GET YOUR DAMN HANDS OFF ME EMILIA THIS IS NO JOKE WHAT THE H-</b></p><p>“<b>Subaru-kun.”</b></p><p>STOP</p><p>STOP IT</p><p>LET GO</p><p>LETGOLETGOLETGOLETGOLETGOLETGOLETGOLETGOLETGOLETGOLETGOLETGOLETGOLETGOLETGOLETGOLETGOLETGOLETGOLETGOLETGOLETGOLETGOLETGOLETGOLETGOLETGOLETGOLETGOLETGOLETGO</p><p><b>breathing down my neck cold hands clutching my shoulders gentle lips</b>  <b>whisper</b>  <b>in my eardrums</b></p><p>“<b>I love you.”</b></p><p>…</p><p>…</p><p>...</p><p>I can't feel anything.</p><p>Is time still passing?</p><p>...</p><p>...</p><p>...</p><p>"Subaru."</p><p>...</p><p>...</p><p>"Subaru."</p><p>...</p><p>“...Emilia-tan?”</p><p>Emilia-tan.</p><p>“Mm, yeah. Is everything okay? Your mother is very worried, you know…”</p><p>EMILIA</p><p>
  <b>EMILIA</b>
</p><p>
  <b>EMILIA HOW DARE YOU TALK TO ME LIKE THAT AFTER-</b>
</p><p>“Wh…”</p><p>
  <b>STOP DON’T COME ANY CLOSER DON’T LOOK AT ME WITH THOSE EYES </b>
</p><p>“You’re acting very str-”</p><p>“<b>AAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!”</b></p><p>
  <b>i’m scared</b>
</p><p>
  <b>imscaredimscaredimscaredimscaredimscaredimscaredimscaredimscaredimscared</b>
</p><p>
  <b>HELPICANTBREATHEHELPICANTBREATHEHELPICANTBREATHE</b>
</p><p>
  <b>GO AWAY</b>
</p><p>
  <b>DON’T-</b>
</p><p>“Subaru!?”</p><p>
  <b> Subaru. </b>
</p><p><b> Subaru-</b> <b>kun.</b></p><p>“Subaru, what’s wrong!?”</p><p>..</p><p>…</p><p>…</p><p>…</p><p>…</p><p>Hn.</p><p>Wh-</p><p>Emilia.</p><p>It’s Emilia.</p><p>Emilia…</p><p>It’s just Emilia-tan.</p><p>“E-Emilia…”</p><p>Emilia.</p><p>“C’mon, let’s go back in. I think you need to sit down…”</p><p>Wait, Emilia.</p><p>Can’t you see…</p><p>Oh.</p><p>She’s gone.</p><p>…</p><p>“W-Wait, Emilia, there’s something…”</p><p>This has to be important.</p><p>Need to tell Emilia.</p><p>“…?”</p><p>Think.</p><p>ThinkthinkthinkthinkthinkthinkTHINK</p><p>what was it</p><p>what happened</p><p>who</p><p>“Just now, Emilia, someone who looke-”</p><p>…</p><p>“<b>Shhhhhh.”</b></p><p>Wait…</p><p>Hey, wait a second.</p><p>This is no joke.</p><p>Do you hear me?</p><p>Sto-</p><p>“-!!!!!!!!”</p><p>
  <b> SHARP FINGERS TICKLE MY HEART CAN’T BREATHE GOING TO DIE GOING TO DIE GOING TO DIE </b>
</p><p>
  <b> I’M GOING TO DIE </b>
</p><p>
  <b> I DON’T WANT TO DIE </b>
</p><p>
  <b> EMILIA PLEASE SAVE ME </b>
</p><p>
  <b> SAVE ME </b>
</p><p>
  <b> PLEASE </b>
</p><p>
  <strong>"I love you."</strong>
</p><p>“-!!!!”</p><p>...</p><p>
  <b> WHERE </b>
</p><p>
  <b> WHERE ARE YOU </b>
</p><p>where…</p><p>gone.</p><p>I can breathe.</p><p>I’m alive.</p><p>I’m alive…</p><p>“I think this is where you first appeared in this world.”</p><p>I’m alive.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>愛してる愛してる愛してる愛してる愛してる愛してる愛してる愛してる愛してる愛してる愛してる愛してる愛してる愛してる愛してる愛してる愛してる愛してる愛してる愛してる愛してる愛してる愛してる愛してる愛してる愛してる愛してる愛してる愛してる愛してる愛してる愛してる愛してる愛してる愛してる愛してる愛してる愛してる愛してる愛してる愛してる愛してる愛してる愛してる愛してる愛してる愛してる愛してる愛してる愛してる愛してる愛してる愛してる愛してる愛してる愛してる愛してる愛してる愛してる愛してる愛してる愛してる愛してる愛してる</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0007"><h2>7. Selfish, So Selfish</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>A/N Hey everyone, I'm back again with another update! It looks like I got the desired reaction from the curveball of a chapter last time - Re:Zero is like a quarter horror after all.</p><p>Anyways, in this chapter, Subaru's outburst prompts some new decisions!</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>“<em>Emilia-sama.”</em></p><p>
  <em>It had been roughly two months since Emilia arrived at Roswaal L. Mathers mansion to stay during her campaign as a candidate for the royal selection. During that time, she had been exposed to many new and exotic societal norms she never got to experience while living as a nomad in the frigid, remote Elior Forest. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>It’s strange. As she looks back on it, those two months seem like a much longer period of time than they actually are.</em>
</p><p>“<em>I have news you should find most exciting, Emilia-samaaaaa.”</em></p><p>
  <em>On a day not particularly exceptional or important in itself, Emilia was sat at the extravagant table in the dining hall of the mansion. She sat opposite the far end of the long table to the lord of the manor himself, Roswaal L. Mathers, his maids Ram and Rem stood by his side should he have any requests.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Her breath hitches slightly at Roswaal’s conversation starter.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>While she did have legitimate enthusiasm for her role as potential king of Lugunica, and indeed had a set of principles and ideals she wished to promote throughout the country, her primary reason for such a drastic shift in her life was unimaginably smaller in scale.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>A simple promise, but an important one nonetheless. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>Her eyes widen as she looks to the clown-faced lord with a face of expectation.</em>
</p><p>“<em>...You have been accepted to partake in the royal selection.”</em></p><p>
  <em>She releases a baited breath she never realised she was holding. Maybe, just maybe...She had hoped.</em>
</p><p>“<em>Oh, I see. That’s...Good, right?”</em></p><p>“<em>Indeeeeeed. Emilia-sama.”</em></p><p>
  <em>Roswaal holds his thoughts in deliberation as he elegantly sips from his glass of wine, before raising his heterochromic eyes back to the half-elf opposite him.</em>
</p><p>“<em>In roughly two months, we shall attend a ceremony in the Royal Capitol in order to introduce you to Lugunica, more specifically the Council of Elders.”</em></p><p>
  <em>In reflex, she gulps down her anxieties.</em>
</p><p>“<em>Oh.”</em></p><p>
  <em>Roswaal hums in contemplation, a devilish smirk forming on his face.</em>
</p><p>“<em>Hmm. I worry I may have frightened you, Emilia-samaaaaaaa.”</em></p><p>“<em>A little bit…But…”</em></p><p>
  <em>She takes too long to finish her response, and Roswaal’s conniving tone interjects from across the room.</em>
</p><p>“<em>Ah, but there is nothing to be afraid of, Emilia-sama. Just as with everything, I will do most of the talking, and Ram and Rem will do their utmost to ensure you’re well prepared for your role in all of thiiiiiis.”</em></p><p>
  <em>Emilia had yet to visit the Royal Capitol. She had certainly heard and read many things: the sprawling streets filled with endless waves of other people...A societal hub, within which all walks of life across Lugunica would gather. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>Her heart raced from the thought of a visit to nearby Arlam village. How would she be able to cope being surrounded by so many people at once? Let alone having to address herself in public, a skill she had no experience in whatsoever.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>She simply hums in agreement, unable to properly articulate her feelings on the matter.</em>
</p><p>“<em>Good, good, Emilia-sama. Everything will work out according to plan, yeeeeees?”</em></p><p>
  <em>Roswaal seems to be speaking to himself just as much as he’s speaking to the anxious half-elf across the table.</em>
</p><p>“<em>...Will people in the capital be afraid of me like the villagers in Arlam?”</em></p><p>
  <em>Emilia asks that, her voice quivering somewhat as a sad gaze forms in her eyes.</em>
</p><p>“<em>...I would expect a similar reception.”</em></p><hr/><p>Emilia wasn’t happy with this, not one bit.</p><p>“Subaru, I still think you should go home and rest for a while.”</p><p>Natsuki Subaru seemed to have had some kind of...Panic attack all of a sudden, and Emilia was severely lacking in context as to why, to say the least.</p><p>“No, we can’t. We might not get this chance again…”</p><p>The two returned to the sushi restaurant after calming down, and were able to put on their best ‘everything is normal’ act as they could for Natsuki Naoko. Despite Subaru mouthing inane ramblings to himself and Emilia’s intense discomfort, the older woman seemed to accept it.</p><p>So, early lunch proceeded as normal. Sort of.</p><p>Once the two were on their own, Emilia knew she had several questions for her companion’s shocking behaviour, but for the moment, she kept her smiling demeanor. She was able to deduce that some oddity was affecting Subaru that likely had some relation to her or her world just based on his vague statement.</p><p>“<em>I think this is where you first appeared in this world.”</em></p><p>She ponders what that could mean as she bites into her last piece of sushi.</p><p>In fact, she found herself so absorbed in her own thoughts, the outside world – which is to say, Naoko, Subaru, and their conversation slowly faded away, turning into...Empty background noise to the main attraction that was her own anxiety.</p><p>What on earth could have sparked such an outburst from the otherwise jovial Natsuki Subaru? If his words are to be believed, and something in relation to Emilia is nearby…</p><p>But what does that mean? Did she…Inadvertently drag something along with her when she was transported here? Is this part of the spell that sent her here?</p><p>...Is someone else from her world here as well?</p><p>It certainly wouldn’t be out of the question. The fact she was so seemingly easily sent here in the blink of an eye would imply it’s not as impossible as she originally thought. If someone else from Lugunica currently resided here on “Earth”, then…</p><p>That could be very dangerous.</p><p>While Emilia lacked the self-confidence to say it herself, she was a kindhearted woman to her core. She wished no ill will on anyone, despite the verbal abuse she regularly endured from those who would see her scorned, harmed or, if Roswaal’s numerous warnings were to be believed, murdered.</p><p>“The Witch Cult…”</p><p>She had very little knowledge of the loosely organised religious faction naming themselves The Witch Cult, only that they followed a doctrine of worship of the Witch of Envy, as well as…</p><p>…</p><p>“<em>Oh! Ram, is it your turn to make a supply run to the village? Can I come?”</em></p><p>
  <em>Emilia had been hard at work these past few days, scrambling to study and prepare herself for the upcoming audience before the Council of Elders in two months. Her evenings felt arduous and yet at the same time monotonous as she revised Luginican history, memorised important figures’ names and rehearsed introductions and speeches.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>It all felt so fake and artificial, when all she wanted was to unfreeze the…</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Wait, no. She wanted to push her ideals of equality and compassion to the populace. To fulfill her role as the Lugunican monarch. </em>
</p><p>“<em>...I’m afraid not, Emilia-sama.”</em></p><p>
  <em>All of that premeditated frustration and boredom made Ram’s rejection sting all the more.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Even if Emilia had to hide her true appearance were she leaving the mansion, even if the one time she showed herself honestly to the villagers of Arlam (without Ram’s permission) she was scorned and forced to leave, even if the fear of rejection gripped at her heart anytime she was around other people…</em>
</p><p>
  <em>She loved seeing the simple lives of Arlam’s inhabitants. She loved watching the children play, the adults at work and the elders reminiscing on the past. It was such a peaceful and easygoing existence that every fiber of her being wished she could be a part of.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>So, to be denied that opportunity to be a part of that lifestyle, even vicariously…</em>
</p><p>“<em>Oh...Why is that?”</em></p><p>“<em>Roswaal-sama is concerned for-”</em></p><p>
  <em>Ram stiffens her lips, cutting herself off as she reconsiders her words.</em>
</p><p>“<em>It is an urgent visit, and I’m afraid there will be no time to mingle with the locals. Please understand, Emilia-sama.”</em></p><p>Emilia wanted to press the pink-haired maid on what Roswaal was ‘concerned’ about, but in her innocence she accepted the revised reasoning at face value.</p><p>But why would someone be targeting her? Even after leaving the Elior forest, she had kept an exceptionally low profile. Roswaal himself had gone to extreme measures to ensure their political activities were done with utmost secrecy; meetings with potential supporters were meticulously planned so as to avoid drawing attention, Emilia was rarely if ever permitted to leave the mansion (and if she did it would be under magical guise to conceal her identity) so as far as anyone outside of the inhabitants of the mansion and the nearby village should know…</p><p>Emilia practically didn’t exist to any outside factions.</p><p>Even so, the possibility of the conniving witch cult she had vaguely learned of during her time in her world being involved wouldn’t leave her thoughts.</p><p>Would they really be targeting her <em>just </em>because of her outward appearance?</p><p>It was a baseless accusation, Emilia had no evidence to be able to suggest any one particular group or individual was involved in her transportation to this world. But…</p><p>She couldn’t stand not having a reason for being here. Just the thought that she was sent to this parallel world beyond the Great Waterfall for no reason at all – her whole life forcefully abandoned and for what?</p><p>For nothing. She had no purpose here.</p><p>It was a new anxiety, on top of all the others.</p><p>She needed someone to be at fault, all of this...It can’t have been for nothing.</p><p>And…</p><p>That brought her back to the present moment. She must have been acting on auto pilot these past twenty or so minutes as her mind catches up.</p><p>“Subaru.”</p><p>She had been following her companion aimlessly these past few minutes. After finishing up in the restaurant, the two parted ways with Natsuki Naoko who would then make her way home, and now she found herself alone with her thoughts as Subaru led her on some….Wild goose chase through back alleys and metropolitan streets.</p><p>“Subaru.”</p><p>She announces his name again, receiving no response as his gaze intently scans his surroundings as they walk. On the odd ocassion that he turns his head enough that she can see his face, he seems to be...Muttering something to himself, though Emilia can’t make it out over the distant sounds of crowds and those vehicles she doesn’t have a name for.</p><p>It went without saying, but Subaru’s behaviour was setting off several red flags. While he had put on a smiling face when seeing his mother off and telling the bogus cover story of escorting Emilia to her hotel, he promptly dropped to an incredibly serious expression when he began his “search” of the local area. Numerous times up until now, Emilia had asked, “What are we looking for?” and received only a vague, disinterested answer along the lines of “Not sure.”</p><p>While part of Emilia was overjoyed she had found someone so dedicated to helping her find a way home, at the same time…</p><p>“Subaru!”</p><p>She firmly takes hold of his arm from behind, bringing the two to a stop in the middle of an alley connecting two main streets. Startled by Emilia’s sudden grasp, Subaru shudders and turns to face her amethyst eyes, his brow furrowed as if he were about to snap at her – an expression that quickly gives Emilia pause as she freezes up on the spot at his glare.</p><p>“…”</p><p>“Emilia.”</p><p>His expression relaxes into a look of relief after a moment, before he stuffs his hands in his pockets and exhales a deep sigh.</p><p>“Subaru, let’s just stop for a moment and talk, okay?”</p><p>Taking another deep breath after several seconds of deliberation, Subaru reluctantly nods. Emilia exhales similarly, though her sigh is laced with stress.</p><p>“Right. Okay. What is going on? What have you found?”</p><p>Subaru doesn’t immediately respond. He looks to his left and right and checks his back before returning his gaze to Emilia, chewing his lip in anxiousness.</p><p>“I tried to tell you earlier, but I saw-”</p><p>…</p><p>…</p><p>“…!!”</p><p>After cutting himself off for a moment, he suddenly grips his chest in pain, growling and swearing beneath his breath. Emilia rushes to his side, resting her hand on his shoulder for support.</p><p>“Subaru…?”</p><p>She gently whispers in concern as whatever is troubling him seemingly subsides and, after several hoarse breaths, Subaru meets Emilia’s eyes again, a bead of sweat rolling down his forehead.</p><p>“...I don’t know.”</p><p>He takes a step back, breaking contact with Emilia and leaning against the wall.</p><p>“I dunno! Maybe...Gah, maybe it really is nothing. Yeah, that’s gotta be it.”</p><p>He stands up straight again and, triumphantly holding his hands to his hips beckons for Emilia to follow him again.</p><p>“You’re right, Emilia-tan. I think I’ve just gotta chill out for a while...Er, sorry.”</p><p>“Sorry?” Emilia tilts her head, “For what?”</p><p>“I guess we didn’t find anything to help you get home, so...Sorry.”</p><p>Oh, right.</p><p>Finding a way home…</p><p>To be honest, Emilia completely forgot. Seeing Naoko, having ‘sushi’, then Subaru’s outburst and her concerns regarding his wellbeing…</p><p>It was...</p><p>She shakes her head clear of her selfish thoughts.</p><p>“N-Never mind that...Are you sure you’re okay?”</p><p>Subaru shoots her a thumbs up and a toothy grin. “Emilia-tan’s concern cures any ailment!”</p><p>A deep pang of guilt hits Emilia like a truck.</p><p>Something had clearly happened that’s bothering Subaru, and it wasn’t a coincidence that it suddenly started here, in the general area she had initially appeared in this world. Should she press the issue further? The boy is clearly concealing something, but…</p><p>Maybe now just isn’t the time. Emilia lacked the assertiveness to press Subaru for a concrete answer, and yet at the same time felt an immense responsibility for having put him through so much apparent pain.</p><p>An impossible deadlock…</p><p>“Subaru.”</p><p>“Emilia-tan?”</p><p>Having dropped his triumphant pose, Subaru arches an eyebrow at Emilia’s serious tone.</p><p>“Please don’t take this the wrong way, because I really want to keep being friends. But...I don’t think it’s safe for you to be involved with me.”</p><p>“Emilia-!”</p><p>“I’m not saying we should stop being friends-”</p><p>Subaru retracts his interjection, exhaling a sigh of relief.</p><p>“-I’ve never really had a friend before, so you’re my first...I really like it, even if I’m putting you in danger. It’s really selfish, I know...”</p><p>While Emilia had an inseparable bond with her cat-spirit companion Puck, their relationship was closer to that of a surrogate father and daughter and, while she would never for a moment take that for granted, she was at her heart a young woman who longed to expand her horizons and forge new relationships.</p><p>She had tried throughout her entire stay in the Roswaal Manor to form some kind of connection with the inhabitants.</p><p>Ram and Rem were friendly, amicable, dedicated and...Distant. Emilia hoped with all her heart she could form a meaningful bond with those two – anytime they were in the room, she would try and make conversation, offer to help with the chores and she always relished the opportunity to spend time with them. And yet...It never seemed as though they truly cared, and were only acting within their duties as the household’s maids.</p><p>Roswaal himself was a little scary, and Emilia could never find it in her heart to drop her barriers around him. His conversation topics always inevitably steered towards the intimidating subject of Emilia’s role in his plans, or some political update on the Royal Selection. Not to mention Puck’s intense distrust of him...</p><p>On the sporadic occasion Emilia even met the Spirit of the Forbidden Library, Beatrice, their interactions never went further than a simple hello, and Emilia got the impression the spirit in the shape of a little girl held a certain distaste for her.</p><p>That was what made Subaru so special. In many ways, Emilia felt she could relate to him – a bond she had never been able to form with anyone else, even Puck. She thinks back to when they first met, only yesterday, and his over-the-top act as a ‘knight.’</p><p>In many ways, Emilia understood those...Delusions of grandeur.</p><p>She was a silver haired half-elf from the middle of nowhere. Her background was in foraging for fruits and nuts in bushes and trees to survive, her knowledge of any academic subjects was limited at best, and her ability to communicate with, much less lead people as a figure of authority was even more stunted.</p><p>And yet she was thrust into an incredible position and responsibility. The potential to be king of Lugunica.</p><p>Who was she to deserve such an honour? What does a king of Lugunica even look like? How do they act? What do they do?</p><p>Even as she watched that royal seal glow at her touch to confirm her qualification, Emilia couldn’t believe that could be her.</p><p>In many ways, was she any better than the young man with a dream to be more than what he was.</p><p>She nods her head to reaffirm her stance.</p><p>“But...Please let me deal with my search to find a way home by myself. I can’t let you be hurt because of my mistakes.”</p><p>She was a candidate to rule a nation. She finds herself in the situation she’s in because of her own missteps, her own poor judgment.</p><p>What kind of monarch would she be, were she to rely on a boy’s enthusiasm alone to solve her problems?</p><p>“But…”</p><p>Subaru intently listens. He opens his mouth once or twice to speak, but quickly backtracks the decision to let Emilia continue.</p><p>“...Please continue to be my friend, Subaru.”</p><p>Even she felt disgust at her own selfishness.</p><p>Subaru had done so much for her already, of his own volition – not because he had something to gain from her, or to trick her.</p><p>So she denied his desire to help her further.</p><p>And yet here she was, picking and choosing what kind of support she wanted from him. She wanted a friend, and yet she didn’t want anyone getting hurt by being involved with her.</p><p>...Emilia didn’t want to be alone.</p><p>“I really, really like being your friend, Subaru. Even if you say things I don’t understand sometimes, or if you push yourself so much like you have already today. It’s so selfish because we only met yesterday, and you’ve already done so much for me…”</p><p>She already got the impression that Subaru wasn’t going to tell her what happened today to bother him so much. But that was okay, at least for now.</p><p>...All she knew was that she didn’t want to lose her first ever friend.</p><p>Whether it was through him getting hurt, or Emilia being forced to distance herself to protect him, she didn’t want to lose her one and only friend in this vast, frightening world.</p><p>So she put forward this arbitrary, half-and-half relationship.</p><p>Please be my friend.</p><p>But don’t get involved with me.</p><p>A gentle breeze blows through the back alley that the two stand in, though thankfully Naoko’s cardigan keeps Emilia snug and warm.</p><p>“I still don’t really know what I’m going to do...I know I’m going to ask for your help with other things not related to finding a way home, which is again, really selfish.”</p><p>She was after all, still lost in a parallel universe.</p><p>She couldn’t read the language. She didn’t have any money, nor a place to stay. She was a half-elf in a world without anyone else of her kind, so she would no doubt draw unwanted attention to herself if she wasn’t careful.</p><p>And again, above all else, Emilia didn’t want to be alone.</p><p>“But, please, Subaru. Please don’t push yourself until it hurts like you have today. I don’t know what happened, and maybe I never will...And I think that’s okay, as long as you don’t let yourself be hurt for my sake again.”</p><p>Silence falls upon the two. Another breeze flows through the alley, ruffling Emilia’s borrowed clothing slightly.</p><p>“Please…”</p><p>After some deliberation, Subaru says with an affirmative smile:</p><p>“...Let’s go on a date, Emilia-tan.”</p><p>“Huh? ‘Dayte’?”</p><p>Subaru dramatically points a finger towards Emilia, his grin widening as he puts on theatrics.</p><p>“I’ll agree to your terms, on the condition you let me take you out on a date!”</p><p>Tilting her head to the side, Emilia whispers the foreign word back to herself.</p><p>“Date…?”</p><p>“It’ll be an official start to our relationship! As friends, with room to grow— But that’s besides the point. We’ll do something fun, something only a man and woman can enjoy together! That is the heart-pounding excitement of a date!”</p><p>A faint flush suddenly covers his face as he scratches his cheek.</p><p>“Uh, don’t take that the wrong way.”</p><p>Subaru’s usual jovial tone gives Emilia pause, though not because she dislikes it. The accidental secondary meaning in his explanation goes over her head, naturally.</p><p>“Hm…Something fun...Okay!”</p><p>Nodding her head, Emilia agrees to Subaru’s proposal.</p><p>“I’ll go on a ‘date’ with you.”</p><p>She exhales a sigh of relief. To be honest...She was expecting this to be more difficult. Subaru had every right to be upset, after everything he had done thus far for her…</p><p>She makes a vow for herself to never take him for granted, ever.</p><p>In his excitement, a gentle gasp escapes Subaru.</p><p>“E.M.T…”</p><p>He clears his throat, gathering his composure.</p><p>“A-Anyway, alright, awesome...But, you do know if you need help with anything, even dangerous stuff, you just need to ask.”</p><p>The two begin making their way back the way they came, exiting the back alley connecting two increasingly busy streets. With the crowds growing, Emilia finds herself taking advantage of she and Subaru’s slower pace to walk closer to him, her worry being that the two might separate and get lost in all the people.</p><p>“Mm.” She hums affirmatively, “Thank you, Subaru.”</p><p>…</p><p>“For everything.”</p><hr/><p>“<em>Puck, what do you think about all of this?”</em></p><p>“<em>...I don’t like it, Lia.”</em></p><p>
  <em>It was a typical evening for Emilia and Puck in their relatively new home of the Roswaal Mansion. Typical in the sense that this was how they usually spent the end of each day – chatting about the day’s events, confiding in each other’s points of view, or in Emilia’s case, seeking the advice of her surrogate father in the free hours they had before he inevitably had to disappear for the night in order to conserve energy.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Only, both of their thoughts weren’t so typical.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Only hours prior, Emilia had been informed of her acceptance as candidate to partake in the Royal Selection, the conclusion of which would determine the new monarch to rule all of Lugunica.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Lying on her back in her oversized bed with Puck resting atop her head, Emilia deliberates on her situation.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>She would be up against four other candidates all competing for the same goal. Crusch Karsten, Priscilla Barielle, Anastasia Hoshin and a fourth, currently unknown rival.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Her days ahead would be spent researching all known information Roswaal L. Mathers, her official sponsor, had gathered on her opponents. In his words, she would need every advantage she could find throughout the entire Selection in order to beat out her competition. She would need to be ruthless, uncompromising, with all her effort – no, her entire being focused on her goal of taking the throne for herself.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>But…</em>
</p><p>“<em>...Mm. It’s a little scary, but I’m going to do my best to be myself and stick to my principles.”</em></p><p>“<em>Lia, with that Roswaal at the helm, I’m not sure that will be an option forever…”</em></p><p>
  <em>Puck speaks with concern in his voice. He has no desire to ridicule or criticize his daughter’s approach to things, in fact he wishes with all of his being that Emilia could just…</em>
</p><p>“<em>Save the world with a smile, Lia.”</em></p><p>
  <em>He quietly laughs, though not out of amusement. Sighing, he continues.</em>
</p><p>“<em>If only everyone in this world were like you. Maybe we really could solve everyone’s problems with kind words…”</em></p><p>
  <em>Throughout her studies these past two months, Emilia had learned about many complex issues throughout history. At first, it was difficult to wrap her head around many things. Why do people try and hurt each other? Why do kings hoard wealth for themselves, refusing to share it with the populace?</em>
</p><p>
  <em>...Why did the Witch of Envy do the things she did.</em>
</p><p><em>O</em><em>ver time, </em> <em>she learned of all these horrid things done unto others throughout history, learned of</em> <em> the unpleasant reality that not everyone always does things because they’re the right things to do. Even now, it was an alien concept she struggled to comprehend.</em></p><p>
  <em>And, if Roswaal’s words were to be believed, Emilia herself would need to degrade her moral sensibilities in order to succeed in the trials ahead.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Above everything else, perhaps that was what frightened Emilia the most.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>She couldn’t understand that line of thinking, it didn’t make sense. Were she to take the throne, she would push her ideals of equality, fairness and the respect of others. What hypocrisy and delusion would it take to be able to abandon her moral code in order to encourage others to follow it?</em>
</p><p>
  <em>But, again, if Roswaal is to be believed, such sacrifices of character will be necessary.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>She couldn’t expect her rivals to forgo any potential advantages over her.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>That too, confused and frustrated her. Would her rivals not be contending against her in order to push their own ideals, and make the world a better place according to their own world view? With that in mind, out of respect for their potential future nation and its people, did they not owe Lugunica respect, dignity and honesty in their practices?</em>
</p><p>
  <em>That was what Emilia felt, anyway.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Despite Roswaal’s words, Emilia had no intention to change her principles, the ideals of kindness she believed were present in all walks of life.</em>
</p><p><em>In the forest, she occasionally ran into bandits who would try and steal from her or others. She would drive them off – or harm them, should she need to defend herself. </em> <em>It bothered her deeply then, but part of her wanted to believe that people like that were a minority – a tiny fragment of the world’s population, and not at all representative of a common morality.</em></p><p><em>Sometimes, she met innocent travellers passing through. Every time, she hoped she could be their friend </em> <em>and,</em> <em> every time her hopes were dashed by the curse </em> <em>that was her coincidental resemblance to the Witch of Envy.</em></p><p>
  <em>Again, she had hoped this was a small minority. Perhaps people lost in the snow grow paranoid and frightened, and it wasn’t specifically Emilia they were shunning.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Those hopes were dashed too, on her first visit to Arlam Village without her magical concealment cloak.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Emilia hums in agreement at Puck’s musings.</em>
</p><p>…</p><p>…</p><p>“<em>...Puck, do you regret forming our contract?”</em></p><p>“<em>No.”</em></p><p>
  <em>His frank and to the point response alleviates a small anxiety in the back of Emilia’s mind.</em>
</p><p>“<em>It would have been safer for us to stay in the forest. That Roswaal </em><em>shouldn’t have gotten involved – I wanted to prepare you for the larger world slowly, so things wouldn’t be so overwhelming and scary for you. Here, in this mansion, </em><em>dealing with</em><em> all of this Royal Selection nonsense...I think it’s dangerous, and I don’t want to see you hurt.”</em></p><p>“<em>...Mm.”</em></p><p>“<em>But I’ll never leave your side, Lia.”</em></p><p>
  <em>...</em>
</p><p>“<em>Never…”</em></p><hr/><p>For the moment, Emilia had decided to take her time in this new world.</p><p>Her rush to find a way home inadvertently resulted in her first real friend experiencing a great deal of pain.</p><p>She didn’t know what caused him such trauma, and she resigned herself to accept his unwillingness to be open about it, at least for now.</p><p>It was a difficult decision to make, one she felt a great deal of unease making on her own. Under any other circumstance, she would confide in her surrogate father, Puck, on anything she may have been setting her mind to, and she always felt comfortable in trusting his judgement.</p><p>But here, in ‘Japan’, on ‘Earth,’ she found herself having to grow more independent.</p><p>It wasn’t that she didn’t trust her new friend, Natsuki Subaru, far from it. Despite only knowing him very briefly, in Emilia’s eyes Subaru had already proven his kindness and dedication to supporting her.</p><p>Her unwillingness to confide him stemmed from a feeling she hadn’t really experienced before, at least not to this degree.</p><p>Pride?</p><p>Responsibility.</p><p>Her predicament was her responsibility. It wasn’t fair to place her otherworldly burdens on a simple young boy, and the possibility that something relating to Emilia herself was the cause of his immensely unpleasant experience earlier today…</p><p>No more. No one else would be hurt because of her own incompetence.</p><p>And yet, her righteous decision making falls apart at her hypocrisy to continue to rely on Subaru for help anyway.</p><p>She needed someone to support her. Even in this comparatively peaceful world, Emilia knew she wouldn’t survive on her own, not due to physical danger or lack of ability, but her own peace of mind.</p><p>Her reliance on someone she’s only just met creates a certain unease in Emilia’s heart.</p><p>Was it really this easy for her to just...Replace Puck?</p><p>“No, no, of course not…”</p><p>Finding her way back to the life she belonged in was still her priority. Puck, Roswaal, Ram, Rem...Emilia played an important role in all of their lives, and she wasn’t for a moment even going to consider abandoning their trust.</p><p>She just needed time. She now realised how serious her predicament was, and that it wouldn’t be solved in one morning. Her lack of urgency wasn’t due to newfound complacency, but a deliberate mindset to avoid any mistakes like earlier.</p><p>She would find a way home.</p><p>Everything depended on it.</p><p>Find a way home...</p><hr/><p>With her decision to calm down and change her approach to finding a way home to a more long-term strategy, Emilia more than ever needed to learn to understand this world. She did have a slight head-start in the fact she at least <em>spoke</em> the common language of the nation known as Japan, even if the written word was completely different (a detail that continued to perplex her.)</p><p>In addition, the support of her companion, Natsuki Subaru alleviated many anxieties in her mind. Their ‘date’ to, in Subaru’s words, ‘seal the deal’ would be postponed to tomorrow, as there were many important issues she needed to resolve.</p><p>First and foremost, she needed a place to stay.</p><p>“I think I might be able to work something out with my parents for you to stay with us in the long-term, but…”</p><p>“We’ve already lied to them several times about who I really am…”</p><p>The two were certainly caught in an awkward situation, one they both had been wracking each other’s heads over this past hour, sat in a small park just off of the main street they had been walking.</p><p>Subaru holds his chin as he mutters his thoughts aloud.</p><p>“Yeah, we did...But, my parents are a bit different to me in regards to views on the parallel fantasy...I mean, even I didn’t believe your situation could actually happen, Emilia-tan.”</p><p>Even so, Emilia didn’t entirely agree with that justification. As unbelievable as the idea of being transported across time and space like she had was, she knew she wouldn’t hesitate to be up front about such circumstances to her own parental figure, Puck.</p><p>“I still think we should just be honest with them, Subaru. Your parents seem so supportive and understanding, after all…”</p><p>He furrows his brow in thought.</p><p>“I’ll accept that compliment towards my family. But...I mean, I was planning to, anyway...Eventually. I wanted to ease them into it, y’know? I thought it’d be a better idea for them to get to know you and see how much of an E.M.T. you are, first.”</p><p>“Sorry, I’m not sure what you mean by that, but...Does it really make a difference if we tell them now or later?”</p><p>Subaru shrugs his shoulders at Emilia’s on point logic.</p><p>“Procrastination is every shut-in’s best friend, I guess.”</p><p>The two go quiet for several minutes, periodically sipping their second coffees of the day Subaru had picked up before they sat down. Emilia wasn’t entirely sure what Subaru had meant with his last remark, but the last thing she wanted was for this to escalate into a full argument, so she allowed him to think for himself on their conundrum.</p><p>Would it really be so difficult to convince Natsuki Naoko and Natsuki Kenichi of the truth of her circumstances? While she hadn’t had the chance to speak with Kenichi very much at all, the impression she had quickly gotten of Naoko was that of a fair, understanding and patient woman. It was also very much evident that the family dynamics between all three Natsuki’s were healthy to the point Emilia felt a sting of jealousy.</p><p>Jealousy not only in the fact she missed Puck, but that as far as she was aware, she had no experience in the ‘normal’ family that Subaru had-</p><p>Hm.</p><p>“Strange…”</p><p>Subaru perks his head up at Emilia’s mutterings. “Eh?”</p><p>A memory hangs on the side of Emilia’s mind, speaking words she couldn’t discern in a voice she couldn’t recollect, the speaker she couldn’t place a name or face on.</p><p>It was similar to the sensation of being unable to remember a specific word, yet it being ‘on the tip of the tongue.’ Emilia noticed anytime the thought or conversation of families such as Subaru’s entered her thoughts, these faint pieces of a memory would again enter the realm of her thoughts. The memory she could never recall knocks on the door of her brain, yet she’s unable to let it in.</p><p>“What’s strange?”</p><p>And just like that, she lets go of the memory and it fades away, unable to be grasped again until some seemingly arbitrary event triggers it into the fringes of her conscious once again.</p><p>Scrambling for a response to Subaru’s inquiry, she casually takes a sip from her pleasantly warm, yet bitterly tasting beverage.</p><p>“The, um...Drink. ‘Cough fee.’ It’s still a little strange…”</p><p>“Pretty sure most addicts start out apprehensive before they get used to it.”</p><p>So Subaru remarks, the corner of his lips forming a smirk.</p><p>“Hmph. You’re teasing me again...I’ll prove to you that I’m super-duper good at self-control.”</p><p>Emilia’s cheeks form into a cute pout as she scolds Subaru, though the weight of her proclamation diminishes somewhat as she promptly tilts the coffee can back for another drink.</p><p>“Super-duper, huh…Emilia-tan is way too young and cute to have learned such an old phrase.”</p><p>Their conversation and thus line of thought trailing further and further from the matter at hand, Emilia continues to entertain Subaru’s teasing.</p><p>“I’ll have you know I’m very much a full adult, Subaru. In fact, I wonder if <em>you’re</em> even old enough for this ‘coffee!’ I sincerely hope you’re not taking advantage of the fact I’ve never heard of it before to get away with beverages your parents wouldn’t allow you to have…”</p><p>“What is this, underage drinking? It’s just coffee, Emilia-tan. Besides...I’m gonna be eighteen this year, so we can’t be that far apart.”</p><p>Emilia tilts her head at such a revelation.</p><p>“Really? I really thought you were so much younger than that, Subaru.”</p><p>“Eh?! How old did ya think I was!?”</p><p>Having clearly struck a nerve, Emilia watches as a blush forms across Subaru’s face.</p><p>“Maybe...Thirteen? Fourteen! That range. Those funny games you like to play about being a knight-”</p><p>“Th-That was just because I thought you were really into your cosplay! I don’t actually go around introducing myself to girls like that…”</p><p>Truth be told, Emilia wasn’t entirely certain of her own age. Of course, at face value, she had the face and body of a young adult past their adolescence, but elves and their mixed blood variants such as herself were renowned for living long lives and retaining their youth. With no memories of her childhood or anything further back than her awakening in the Elior Forest, she never had an easy answer for the question of ‘how old are you.’</p><p>She holds her index finger to her lips to stifle a laugh, revelling in her companion’s flustered state.</p><p>“Hehe...I still don’t know what that word means, but I bet you’ll be more careful the next time you try and get a rise out of me.”</p><p>Subaru comically droops his posture in defeat, surrendering to Emilia’s surprising show of wit.</p><p>“I never realised Emilia-tan could be so brutal…”</p><p>As she giggles to herself, having won this exchange of banter, Emilia realises something.</p><p>She had never had such a jovial conversation like this before.</p><p>Certainly, she was on more than friendly terms with Puck, but there was a very real sense of...Carefulness in Puck’s demeanour during their conversations. In his role as a source of emotional support and advice to Emilia, there was never really an opportunity for banter and teasing in their relationship.</p><p>Which wasn’t to say the two were uncomfortable around each other, far from it. It was just the manner of relationship the two had built into and, being that her bond with Puck was more or less the only meaningful one Emilia had ever formed, this idea of joking and poking fun at someone was a new experience.</p><p>“Well, back to the matter at hand…”</p><p>The time for joking passing them by, Subaru proposes his thoughts.</p><p>“In regards to my parents, what if we frame it as though...Me and you decided for you to stay with us for your stay in Japan, so you cancelled your hotel to save some money?”</p><p>Emilia’s brow furrows at the suggestion.</p><p>“That would make me seem even more selfish than I already feel…”</p><p>With that plan, not only would Emilia continue to take advantage of Subaru’s kindness and hospitality, but Naoko and Kenichi’s as well. And to say she had already overstepped her boundaries, as she looks to her borrowed clothing in frustration, was an understatement.</p><p>“Hey, I’ll be taking responsibility for it. If my parents are gonna get mad at anyone, it should be me. It’s not like you’ll be in anyone’s way – you’ll be sleeping in my room, and I’ll make sure to pay for any additional shopping we need to do to account for you.”</p><p>“You’re really going to go so far out of your way for me…”</p><p>It was another reality check on Emilia’s conflicting opinions of the arrangement. On one hand, Subaru consistently kept going above and beyond for a person he had only just met, and on the other hand, the dishonesty he had to show in order to support her bothered her.</p><p>After some thirty seconds of pondering, Emilia reaches her conclusion.</p><p>“Okay, I’ll agree to the plan...But my conscience will only be happy if you agree to a condition.”</p><p>One condition that would allow her to justify maintaining this lie.</p><p>“We have to tell your parents the truth after one week.”</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0008"><h2>8. Cleansing Love</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>A/N hey! bit of a shorter chapter this time around, but we're deviating from Subaru and Emilia just a tiny bit.</p><p>Hope you enjoy!</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Natsuki Naoko was, at least on the surface, your perfectly average person for a woman in her position.</p><p>She wore perfectly average and plain clothes, usually consisting of a patterned t-shirt and a long skirt to show her decency, as well as a pair of comfortable slip ons when leaving the house to travel to the convenience store. She enjoyed cooking, sewing and the occasional drama show on TV.</p><p>Her daily routine often consisted of preparing breakfast in the morning, cleaning the house and other menial chores, before sitting back to watch the television for several hours. Sometimes, she would spend a day out in the more metropolitan side of town to shop for a new shirt or a decoration for a shelf in her home, before picking up a mocha to go in her favourite cafe and returning home in time to make dinner.</p><p>She was a mother, and very much filled the stereotypical role of a traditional housewife. While unemployed and very much overshadowed by her husband’s success, she nonetheless played a vital role in the Natsuki household.</p><p>Her husband, Natsuki Kenichi, was an unbelievably busy person. It could be said that some weeks, or even months, he spent more time in the office than at home. His life was that of success, and all the stresses, urgency and time investment that came with it.</p><p>So, early on in their marriage, at the joyful news Naoko was pregnant, the decision was made for her to take a back seat as it were. As Kenichi’s career further progressed, and he found further and further success and thus further and further income, he conversely found less and less time. Time for himself, for his wife, and most importantly, time for their son who would be born in nine months.</p><p>Sometimes Naoko missed the independence of having her own job, contributing her own earnings to the family funds. She missed the personal pride in being a woman not content to allow her husband to handle everything in a culture that, at the time, still on the whole held many traditionalist values when it came to family dynamics.</p><p>She missed working as an opportunity to meet new people. Naoko was a quiet, unsociable person, she struggled to convey her feelings in conversation, and often people she spoke to found her to exude an awkward, uncomfortable energy in her manner of socializing. Thus, it was difficult for her to meet new people to talk to, and even if on a superficial, “hi how’s your day going” kind of level, working in a job gave her the opportunity to make even the most basic amount of human interaction such as that.</p><p>She missed these perks of her independence before her marriage and newfound responsibility in her pregnancy, it bothered her.</p><p>Well, it may have been more accurate to say it frustrated her – It frustrated her immensely. She could recall many an argument with her husband, only one year into their marriage. She resented the success that seemed to come so naturally to Natsuki Kenichi. She resented his confidence in socializing with and meeting people, how it was so easy for him to get on others’ good sides, and how ruthlessly he made use of that skill in his climb up corporate ladders.</p><p>For a woman like Natsuki Naoko, whose brief employment history consisted of low-skill jobs and little to no progression in her roles within the companies she hopped between, this ability to so effortlessly earn a promotion or wage increase was maddening.</p><p>Kenichi was an extroverted, confident man in which other people flocked to. His air of natural wit and self assuredness seemed limitless, and he had little struggle in appealing to people of all backgrounds and ages with his kind words, sense of humour, good looks and general energy that just seemed to elevate the moods of those around him. Indeed, Naoko herself was drawn in by this seemingly ideal image of a man in the first place.</p><p>Even that resentment was wrought with conflict. With her husband’s success, came income, which allowed the two to move into a quiet, desirable suburban neighbourhood in a home built for the oncoming modern age. They could afford great new gadgets like videogame consoles and large televisions with ease, comfortably invest into expansions for their single-floor home, and even a computer with access to the internet. With her pregnancy progressing further, and the expected period for her child to be born, now more than ever these luxuries were appreciated.</p><p>But still. Natsuki Naoko wished she could do both of these things. She wished she could be a mother, and an independent woman. She hated being relegated to a secondary role in the household, so stereotypically greeting her husband at the door after his long day at work having left her alone. She struggled to make friends, so her days were often spent in solitude. Sometimes, she found herself making conversation with her own stomach, addressing her then-unborn child with names she had in mind for that fateful day on what essentially came down to conversations with herself.</p><p>She would voice her hopes that her child would grow up a kind-hearted individual, one who looked at their mother fondly. A child she could devote herself to, find meaning in her life for. Sometimes she just spoke her thoughts aloud, made conversation like what one would with another sentient person.</p><p>Sometimes she thought she was going crazy. Was she really qualified for this? Did she deserve to have the responsibility of a child’s life? She would often berate herself over petty insecurities like her unpleasant, frightening eyes, how she was afraid she would scare her own newborn child into tears immediately on leaving the womb just with her narrow gaze and small pupils.</p><p>Shouldering the responsibility of another’s life like this terrified her, let alone the life of a newborn child. She would wonder aloud if her own mother felt the same way, and it further compounded her self-loathing as she compared herself to how much she respected and appreciated her parents. How could she meet the same standard they set in raising her? What would happen if she messed everything up? The thought of her child growing up unhappy due to her own faulty parenting set off anxieties in her mind she couldn’t possibly have conceived before then.</p><p>Her days mostly spent alone, this frustration, self loathing and resentment boiled to its breaking point over those nine months.</p><p>And then her son was born.</p><p>Natsuki Naoko felt a love she thought couldn’t possibly exist. The kind of love that could push her to give her life for a person, the kind of love that made all her frustrations seem so petty and irrelevant in hindsight. This love washed over her, it cleansed her, revitalised her, and through it she experienced a joy so surreal and encompassing her entire being she began to cry.</p><p>Her son, Subaru.</p><p>When she first saw her newborn son, she felt as though a switch had been turned in her mind. As if she transformed into an entirely different person, and all of her life up until this point was the memories of a different Natsuki Naoko.</p><p>Her life started over from that moment, as Natsuki Naoko.</p><p>Her whole being was cleansed by this unconditional love.</p><p>Even to this day, she just wasn’t able to articulate the gratitude she felt.</p><p>Gratitude for her son, Natsuki Subaru, and how he saved her life in that moment.</p><p>Naoko thought herself the happiest person in the world. Her relationship with her husband improved, she couldn’t recall a single argument in those seventeen and a half years. She would happily prepare dinner, clean the household, and any other menial tasks that ultimately amounted to nothing significant in her life. What previously felt demeaning and beneath her she now treated as her immense responsibility.</p><p>She would ensure her son grew up in a loving family. This responsibility – No, this blessing granted to her, she would live up to it.</p><p>In ensuring their home was clean, and their dinners fresh, Subaru would grow up healthy and avoid illness. Parenting tips on the internet advised regular interaction and play with one’s child, so she did. If Subaru wanted to play – or as he got older, wanted to talk, Naoko never hesitated to entertain her son. She treated his feelings as the most important in the world, and never lashed out when things became stressful or difficult. She never took him for granted and adhered to a strict principle of never dismissing her son’s feelings or fears. She recalls, on Subaru’s first day of school, when he was fearful for being away from home on his own for several hours, how she walked him to school, and insisted to the principal that he allow her to stay on the premises in order to help her son feel more comfortable.</p><p>Naoko’s love for her son became who she was. Many on the outside may have found her obsessive, and might silently suggest that she “get a life.”</p><p>But for Natsuki Naoko, as long as anything she did in her life contributed to her son’s happiness, it was a worthwhile endeavour.</p><p>Subaru was a shy, quiet boy, at least in his first couple of years. He was hesitant to interact with other children, and would often cling to his mother or father if they were ever out anywhere. Naoko adapted herself to this behaviour – She remained unemployed, allowing herself the maximum possible time to talk to, teach and play with her son.</p><p>Subaru quickly learned how to use the videogame consoles that both Naoko and Kenichi had a small hobby for. Naoko and her son would often waste their afternoons away, playing Mario Kart 64. She recalls using Final Fantasy 7 as a means to help teach Subaru to read, a skill he was struggling with in his early days of school.</p><p>Yes indeed, Naoko spoiled her son, and proudly so. She saw many news outlets warn against the dangers of videogames and other fear mongering tactics directed at parents. She would see families treat their children with strict adherence to arbitrary rules, and even stricter punishments. She would see a push in others for their children to pick up secondary skills, such as an instrument or drawing.</p><p>But for Natsuki Naoko, as long as her son was smiling and laughing as she lost another race on Choco Mountain, or he was gleefully doing his best to imitate and quote Goku in the latest episode of Dragon Ball, she was proud.</p><p>Proud that her son was the kindhearted, fun loving child that saved her life. In Subaru’s smile, she found a meaning for her existence.</p><p>But, things are not always so simple.</p><p>Psychologists often say that boys are more likely to imitate their fathers. Naoko wasn’t so sure as to how accurate this statement was, but she certainly observed it in Subaru.</p><p>Natsuki Kenichi was an open, sociable man. He had no fears in approaching others and gaining their favour – a skill built on a natural confidence and mental fortitude. A confidence and fortitude that Subaru was far too young to have developed.</p><p>As Subaru’s childhood progressed, he began hanging out with a larger and larger circle of friends. With his invincible father as an example, Subaru pushed himself to attract more and more friends. He wanted everyone to like him, everyone to appreciate him. As a young boy thriving on positive reinforcement from others, Subaru needed – or felt he needed, to be the centre of attention – no, the centre of the world.</p><p>At first, Naoko was happy. She was glad her son had found his social confidence, and branched out to mingle with other children his age from school or in their local area. She would meet him as he finished school, a wide grin across his face from having made a new friend, and later on he would leave the house to play with his new friends until dinner time. She’d see him having the time of his life in his brief period of childhood innocence, and while a part of her was afraid for his safety, and wanted to always be there, a constant eye on him for her own peace of mind,</p><p>She remembered the vow she had made out of love. To ensure her son, Subaru, would live the happiest life she could provide, and allow him the freedom to find that life.</p><p>That ideal was, unfortunately, not immune to the corruptible concept that is reality.</p><p>She recalls that evening, when her heart sank.</p><p>The evening a police officer knocked on their front door, escorting a dishevelled little Natsuki Subaru home.</p><p>The boy’s hair was messy, his clothes covered in paint and grime, and his face holding an expression of guilt.</p><p>How long had her Subaru been acting out of such delinquency? How many evenings were spent defacing public spaces, trespassing on private property and harassing locals? Just what kinds of people were her precious son’s friends that they could push him to make these decisions?</p><p>That night, she didn’t know what to think.</p><p>She calmly asked Subaru to go to bed for the night, and to an outside viewer it would seem she handled the situation as well as any caring, mature parent could. She didn’t shout – no, she didn’t even know if she had the capacity to hurl such scorn at her son in the first place.</p><p>That night, she felt those insecurities from before come back for the first time in years.</p><p>This was my fault. I should have taught him better. I should have paid more attention. No, Kenichi should have set a better example. No, I should have set a better example. We both should have set a better example.</p><p>In her shame, she couldn’t bring herself to face her son until after Kenichi spoke with him the next day. She hated herself. She caused this. Something she did led her son down this path. She wasn’t qualified to be a mother after all. Was she qualified for anything? All this time spent unemployed, devoting herself to this singular purpose and she still failed at it.</p><p>She couldn’t blame her husband, not with the sheer amount of work he put in for the family every day. The reason they were in their comfortable home, in their quiet suburban neighbourhood, with all their modern comforts was due to Kenichi’s hard work.</p><p>So she blamed herself. Out of the two parents, Subaru spent the most time with her, and her influence. Who else could be at fault?</p><p>She would try to control her son’s behaviour from that point on, to no avail. Throughout the boy’s life, Naoko had always encouraged him to enjoy himself, to do the things he wanted to do – not because they were constructive, or even the right decisions, but because he wanted to make them. She only blamed herself. She scorned her own lackadaisical attitude, her airheaded demeanour, her parenting style that allowed this corruption to manifest in her son.</p><p>Subaru would continue to come home later on in the evenings doing god knows what with god knows who. Sometimes the same situation as that night from before would repeat – escorted home by a police officer, and Naoko would again feel helpless as she watched everything she had worked for fall apart at the seams.</p><p>Kenichi would do his best as well, with many man-to-man talks over dinner. He too, didn’t know how to punish a child – or even if punishment was the right decision in the first place. Their simple lives as a family of three had been so easy until now, and neither parents could bring themselves to stand in the way of their son’s decision making. Not only that, but Kenichi was rarely in the position to be able to intervene in the first place – his life was still to be spent in an office out of necessity, hours upon hours devoted not to the household but to business deals, clientele, and the next promotion.</p><p>So Naoko spent her days alone again. In the times Subaru wasn’t at school or out with his friends but in the house, Naoko ironically felt lonelier than she ever had before.</p><p>In her perceived failure as a mother, she chose to distance herself from everything. From Subaru, Kenichi, everything.</p><p>The Natsuki household grew cold for several weeks.</p><p>And it only became colder.</p><p>She recalls one evening, when Subaru came home at dark, tears in his eyes, snot dripping out of his nose.</p><p>All of her insecurities fell to the wayside as her parental instincts kicked in, and she rushed to her son’s side. Her heart raced, and as she looked him over she found no bruises or cuts as the source of his anguish, and yet he snivelled and whimpered more than she had ever seen before.</p><p>“<em>Mom...Everyone’s gone…I’m sorry...”</em></p><p>That was the moment.</p><p>That was the moment Natsuki Naoko remembered why she was the person she was.</p><p>When everyone had abandoned her son, when all his so-called friends showed their true colours and abandoned him, she remembered her vow to dedicate her being to ensuring Natsuki Subaru would never be alone.</p><p>She held Subaru close as he cried and cried until he eventually calmed down. She took him to the convenience store to buy some ice-cream, and when they got home the two sat down to play Mario Kart again after all this time.</p><p>And as she lost for the umpteenth time on Choco Mountain, and Subaru celebrated his victory with a wide grin and a scoop of ice-cream,</p><p>Natsuki Naoko remembered why she was here.</p><p>She was on this Earth to, no matter what, bring a smile to this young boy’s face.</p><p>In her allowance and carefree approach, Subaru suffered.</p><p>In her inactivity and disconnection, Subaru suffered.</p><p>So she would simply stand up, dust herself off, and try again. She would do better. She would learn, improve, become the woman she needed to be to ensure her son would be the happy child she always hoped for.</p><p>Because that was the vow she made out of love.</p><p>As Subaru’s social circle grew smaller and smaller, he fell back on the things he liked to do as a young child more and more. Going through his teenage years and middle school, his free time was devoted more and more to TV, videogames and the internet. For his fourteenth birthday, Naoko bought him a modern, powerful laptop, and for that Christmas a next-generation console. With Subaru’s routine changing into that of a quiet, subdued lifestyle, the Natsuki household seemingly settled into a comfortable existence.</p><p>But, as Naoko would often say, mothers watch their children more closely than they realise.</p><p>Subaru was no longer the energetic, optimistic young boy of his younger years. Naoko would see the marks under his eyes indicative of his lack of sleep the night before as he finally left his room at one in the afternoon. His lack of enthusiasm in any trips the three would make, his inability to devote energy to anything beyond the bare minimum of getting to school on time, coming home, and maybe a trip to the convenience store for a cup of instant ramen at midnight all pointed towards something being wrong.</p><p>She watched not a sudden event to hurt her son, but a slow degradation of his happiness over half a decade. As middle school came to a close and Subaru moved onto high school, he showed a brief display of that same energy and enthusiasm – the desire to meet new people, to become better than what he was,</p><p>And that too, was seemingly a continuation of Subaru’s long path of misery. At his first month of high school, she recalls the first day he ‘called in sick.’ Sick days would turn into sick weeks, until eventually even Subaru dropped the facade of being too ill entirely, but that he in fact just…</p><p>Didn’t want to go to school.</p><p>Didn’t want to do anything.</p><p>He was a lazy good-for-nothing who only wanted to waste away his life on videogames and shallow friendships across the internet. His income from the government went towards collectable game and anime merchandise that he surrounded himself with in the hermit’s den he called his bedroom.</p><p>But Naoko wasn’t that ignorant.</p><p>She tried so hard to understand what hurt her son on the inside so much. What sapped his energy, what removed that smile she recalled so fondly from years ago. Conversations were brief, and her own inability to communicate would resurface as she could never choose the right words, never ask the right questions, and ultimately never find a true understanding of Subaru’s pain.</p><p>And it made her heart ache deeply.</p><p>She saw her son suffer, and wished with all her being that she could just...Heal the pain.</p><p>She wished she could provide him a circle of trustworthy friends. She wished she could provide him a loving girlfriend, a road to success and self-fulfilment, a cure for the very same self-loathing that dominated her own life before her child saved her from it.</p><p>Her son, Subaru, saved her life seventeen and a half years ago.</p><p>And her inability to save him hurt her more than all of the pain she had suffered without him in her life combined.</p><p>Days would pass. Weeks would go by. Subaru could never be coerced to leave his room outside of dinner and bathroom breaks. Naoko and Kenichi would continue to try to find a solution for their son’s pain the only ways they knew how.</p><p>“<em>Your dad’s taken this week off, why don’t we go to that village with all the deer again? It’s been so long since we did anything as a family.”</em></p><p>“<em>We’re having a movie night tonight, Subaru, won’t you join us?”</em></p><p>“<em>Why don’t we play that Mario racing game again, for old time’s sake?”</em></p><p>More often than not, her attempts and hopes to be able to at least barely fill the void in her son’s life would be met with a disinterested “No thanks.”</p><p>It pained her to her very core. On the surface, she would simply smile, nod her head and cheerily say “That’s okay.” in an airy voice, but deep down…</p><p>Each rejection felt like a failure of her own responsibility as a mother.</p><p>Naoko was unfamiliar with the things her son had an interest in. She recalls the last anime she watched being Sailor Moon, in her own teenage years, and her only experience in videogames were the games she would play together with Subaru when he was a child. As such, she struggled to relate to Subaru and his more modern interests. She hoped she could strike up conversation about what he was watching or playing, but Subaru always seemed uncomfortable talking about such things with his mother, so after a while she stopped trying.</p><p>This cycle would repeat for months. Naoko’s heart whittled down with each passing day, watching Subaru’s slow cycle of self-destruction unfold.</p><p>Until that evening when Subaru walked through their front door, a pretty, silver-haired young girl around his age from overseas in tow.</p><p>Of course, Naoko already had forewarning from the awkward conversation on the phone, but,</p><p>She couldn’t believe the energy Subaru exuded that evening.</p><p>Naoko wasn’t sure what to think of the young lady named Emilia, and her sudden appearance in Subaru’s life. She was a polite, humble and shy girl at first glance, and she seemed to share a lot of Subaru’s interests just off of her peculiar costume she was wearing. Part of Naoko felt overly-protective and apprehensive around this foreign girl, and didn’t appreciate the surprise of allowing a stranger to spend the night in her home all of a sudden.</p><p>Who is this strange woman coming home with our son? Why have I never heard of her before? Why does she get all this special treatment from Subaru when as far as I and Kenichi are aware, she just suddenly popped into existence this evening?</p><p>It brought her an immense discomfort. The Natsuki family didn’t have many close friends, particularly Naoko herself and Subaru. Even Kenichi – certainly he had many acquaintances and colleagues he was friendly with, but at its core both parents’ hearts were reserved exclusively for eachother and their son. As such, it was rare for any of the three to meet others for a day out or invite them to their home, they were ultimately a very self sufficient trio with little to no close bonds outside of their family circle.</p><p>And yet,</p><p>She saw her son put himself so far on the line for this girl. His often disinterested, lethargic mannerisms were swept aside for an intense burst of energy and enthusiasm for his friend from across the ocean. He smiled, played along with his parents’ teasing, showed an interest in something new and exciting.</p><p>Naoko’s son wasn’t alone anymore.</p><p>Had they been friends for a long time? Did Subaru’s depression at least partly stem from the distance between he and his close friend from overseas?</p><p>Naoko knew the answer to neither of these questions. But she saw her son was happy again, if even for an evening.</p><p>If a strange girl with dyed hair and an extravagant cosplay from America could do this for Subaru’s still heart…</p><p>Naoko would choose to trust Emilia.</p><p>For her son, Natsuki Subaru, Natsuki Naoko would support Emilia and whatever relationship she may have with Subaru.</p><p>She had many questions, most definitely. When she found the chance, her son could expect a very motherly interrogation out of a mixture of concern and gossipy curiosity, though mostly the latter.</p><p>But for now, Natsuki Naoko saw her son smiling again. She saw him energised, eager and full of…</p><p>Hope.</p><p>Perhaps Naoko herself felt a sense of hope more so, but in those frightening eyes so like her own Naoko saw a hope for the future in Subaru.</p><p>Perhaps, all along, Natsuki Naoko was never meant to save her son. Maybe her role in life was to teach Subaru how to save himself, to find his own happiness.</p><p>She grins to herself, so amused by how simple a realisation this is, but yet such an insurmountable task at the same time.</p><p>She nods to herself.</p><p>She wasn’t meant to be the centre of her son’s life. She couldn’t insert herself into that position.</p><p>Subaru needed to find that by himself.</p><p>With that realisation,</p><p>Natsuki Naoko would trust Emilia.</p><p>Natsuki Naoko would trust Subaru.</p><p><br/>
<br/>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0009"><h2>9. Maji Tenshi!</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>A/N Hey! It's been a little wait since the last chapter, sorry about that! I'm really glad to see you guys enjoyed Naoko's little chapter last time, and that I got the intended reaction on the feelings I was trying to invoke. Between writers' block and school work as well as general laziness, it's been a bit difficult to write chapter 9, but here it is!</p><p>So! This time around, Subaru and Emilia take some time to have a chat on their walk home.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>“One week...Hmm…”</p><p>Natsuki Subaru hums to himself in thought, mulling over Emilia’s stipulation from a moment ago.</p><p>The stipulation was in relation to Subaru’s suggested plan for her potential accommodation for the foreseeable future – continuing to live with him and his parents in their family home, taking up their space, their food, and their money.</p><p>It was an incredibly humbling offer, and as she kept on piling debts towards her new and only friend in this world, she felt a weight in her heart grow heavier and heavier.</p><p>This was different than when she stayed in the Roswaal mansion for a year, back in her own world. There, the master of the mansion, Roswaal L. Mathers stood to gain from her co-habitation. Roswaal himself always spoke vaguely, so Emilia never fully came to understand <em>why </em>he was so dead-set on co-operation, but Emilia was at least able to discern she was doing the clown-faced lord as much of a favour as he was doing for her, if not more so.</p><p>Thus, in the long run she didn’t really feel any guilt for the extra work required in her living in the mansion, be that time and effort devoted to her by the maids Ram and Rem, or Roswaal’s numerous meetings with important clients on her behalf, in regards to the royal selection.</p><p>Certainly, she did at first, it was all very awkward for her. The idea of having her daily needs catered to at a moment’s notice by someone else didn’t at all mesh with her life of self-reliance she had been living up until that point, so whenever possible she instinctively found herself offering to handle things by herself, prepare her own dinner, tidy her own room, repair her own clothes. (Though her sewing ability left much to be desired.)</p><p>And while she did continue this behaviour of self-reliance where possible, she did eventually grow accustomed to Ram and Rem’s roles in the mansion. In their case, servitude was their jobs; it was what they were paid and trained for.</p><p>But,</p><p>It would be wrong of her to expect that same thought process from Subaru and his parents.</p><p>They all had their own lives, their own priorities beyond a selfish, dimwitted fool like herself.</p><p>In this sense, lying to two of the people she would be relying on was the metaphorical cherry on top of the guilt cake being made in her mind. How ungrateful and manipulative of her, to bite the hand that fed her, so to speak.</p><p>But, even this demand of good intentions brought her conflict.</p><p>Natsuki Subaru must have had good reason for his decision to fabricate this scenario in the first place, even if Emilia didn’t fully buy into assumption that Naoko and Kenichi couldn’t be trusted with her true origins. But, didn’t Emilia at least owe him some amount of trust, even if she didn’t agree with his methods? He had done so much for her and asked for essentially nothing in return, besides a ‘date’ which in concept seemed a remarkably humble demand in return for how much support he had provided.</p><p>In this sense, Emilia felt she was already taking Subaru for granted as a friend, after not even an hour ago vowing to never do so.</p><p>Her hypocrisy, incompetence and overall foolishness continued to grow as a heavier and heavier weight in her heart.</p><p>She gently nibbles on her lip in her anxiousness as she watches Subaru hold his chin, before he nods his head.</p><p>“Alright, I’ll tell my parents the truth after one week, Emilia-tan. I guess I was planning to eventually anyway...This just means we gotta ease them into it even more urgently!”</p><p>Emilia gently exhales in relief, delighted at Subaru’s enthusiasm as he shoots her a thumbs up.</p><p>“I’m sorry.”</p><p>That was the only response she could muster in her shame.</p><p>“Sorry?”</p><p>“I’ve already asked so much of you, and I’ve just ruined your plan you must have put a lot of thought into...And I know I’m going to keep asking more of you on top of that.”</p><p>There was still so much she needed help with. She needed to learn the language, she needed someone to show her how this world was different to her own, all in all it was as if Emilia was an uneducated child with the body and mind of a fully grown woman.</p><p>In some sense of irony, it wasn’t at all unlike when she first arrived in the Roswaal manor, and came to rely on Ram and Rem to teach her the many realities of civilized society she had little to no exposure to. It frustrated her back then, so to be going through this cycle again…</p><p>When would she finally become a reliable person, able to help others rather than be helpless herself?</p><p>“Y’know...”</p><p>Subaru’s gentle tone spurs Emilia from the self-loathing consuming her.</p><p>“It feels way better when someone says ‘thank you’ rather than ‘sorry.’”</p><p>“Oh…”</p><p>Emilia feels as though that’s a sentiment she would’ve liked to pass on.</p><p>“Plus...It’s crazy cute when you’re expressing gratitude, you get this little flush on your cheeks that you try and hide…”</p><p>Subaru snickers to himself as he giddily sneaks a flirt into his sentiment, one which prompts a quick response from Emilia as she presses her fists to her hips, the telltale blush lighting up her face with comedic timing.</p><p>“Oh...You’re teasing me again, Subaru! You dunce...I think that’s a good sign, though, at least I hope it is...I haven’t seen you get upset with me yet, so I don’t know if I can be sure.”</p><p>“Pfft, I could never get mad at Emilia-tan. All it takes is a smile and any bad feelings seem to melt away...So,”</p><p>Scoffing, Subaru illustrates his point as he presses his index fingers to the corners of his lips, raising them into an exaggerated grin.</p><p>“Smile, Emilia-tan.”</p><p>At that comment, Emilia’s posture relaxes and for a very brief moment her anxiety and self-loathing disappears as all she can do is smirk at Subaru’s goofy, exaggerated, teeth-bearing grin. She gently giggles to herself, holding her hand to her own lips in an attempt to stifle it.</p><p>“Hehe...Okay.”</p><p>She clears her throat to feign a sense of composure, though she can’t help but crack a smile as she speaks.</p><p>“I’ll try my best. I think I’m still going to feel really guilty asking you for help all the time...But I’m going to try my best to smile.”</p><p>“Good, good.” Subaru raises his shoulders triumphantly, clearly pleased with himself he managed to get a laugh out of Emilia. “Emilia-tan is too beautiful to be sad all the time. Oh, also…”</p><p>“?”</p><p>“Dunce? Who says that in this day and age…”</p><hr/><p>Having reached an agreement on how to manage Kenichi and Naoko’s knowledge of Emilia’s real origins, Subaru and Emilia made their way back to the suburban side of town the Natsuki’s resided in. Along the way, Subaru once again fished out his ‘cell phone’ from his pocket, making use of it to contact his mother.</p><p>“Hey again, Mom.”</p><p>This manner of communication was still very strange to Emilia. That wasn’t to say the idea of communicating outside of a standard face-to-face interaction was unbelievable, as she had many a secret telepathic conversation with Puck when in a stressful situation to help calm her nerves...</p><p>...</p><p>...</p><p>“<em>Now...Emilia-sama, would you be willing to tell me a little about your background?”</em></p><p>
  <em>Today was Emilia’s official introduction to the Royal Selection. A representative on behalf of the Council of Elders had arrived to the mansion slightly earlier than expected, leaving the half-elf with an hour less than she would have liked to mentally prepare herself.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Despite his elderly appearance so stereotypically fitting of a representative of a group titled ‘The Council of Elders’, he was an imposing man, so much so that Emilia didn’t dare think of stretching the truth or hiding embarrassing details of her humble, otherwise uninteresting history – at least, what she could remember of it anyway.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Emilia clasps her hands together atop her lap, hoping to hide her anxious state with a relaxed pose – Though, with how straight she was sitting and the bead of sweat trickling down her forehead, it was evident to anyone in the room she was anything but calm.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Typically, Roswaal would handle any questions in regards to Emilia and anything about her in relation to her campaign to take the throne, but the representative threw them both a proverbial curveball in specifically directing his question towards Emilia.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>In line with this, Roswaal opens his mouth to handle the query.</em>
</p><p>“<em>Ah, I can easily answer that question, if it is agreeeeeable?”</em></p><p>
  <em>With a shake of his head, the representative promptly dismisses Roswaal’s offer and thus Emilia’s hopes to stick to her routine of smiling and nodding this entire meeting.</em>
</p><p>“<em>Hearing her history directly from Emilia-sama will ensure it is as accurate as possible.”</em></p><p>
  <em>He speaks very matter-of-factly, with no obvious hostility as it’s clear his approach is a logical one – something neither Roswaal or Emilia could argue with.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Roswaal closes his eyes and smiles with a look that says ‘it can’t be helped’, Signalling he has no intention to argue with the representative. Emilia, taken aback, widens her eyes as she hurries through her brain on what to say.</em>
</p><p>“<em>Oh, er...Well…”</em></p><p>
  <em>Her mind goes blank.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>What could she say? This well dressed, well spoken man no doubt has knowledge of her rivals: Crusch Karsten, heir to a powerful, respected family well known throughout the nation. Emilia only knew a little, but she was said to be fiercely determined, and terribly cunning when the situation called for it. Emilia, on the other hand, was neither cunning or fierce.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Anastasia Hoshin, who through intelligence and wit, climbed up corporate ladders, forged alliances and won favour until through sheer success and hard work found herself in a position to potentially rule a nation. What had Emilia done in comparison to her? The half-elf was still just barely able to even understand how the political systems that allowed Anastasia to take her position even worked, and she was expected to be her rival?</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Priscilla Barielle, daughter to an emperor of a faraway land, and said to be incredibly ruthless, powerful and above all else capable of taking whatever she wanted. Emilia knew even less about her, but Roswaal made special mention to warn her of the political power Priscilla could wield. Once again, Emilia was out of her depth, expected to campaign against someone infinitely more capable than her.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Ignoring the currently unknown rival who would surely be just as overwhelming an opponent, how could Emilia compare to the likes of these people?</em>
</p><p>
  <em>She opens her mouth to speak several times, ultimately backtracking on the decision as she retreats to her thoughts once again.</em>
</p><p>“<em>...Lia.”</em></p><p>
  <em>The gentle echo whispers in her mind.</em>
</p><p>“<em>Just be yourself.”</em></p><p>
  <em>Puck, holding her hand with his soft little paw.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>That was what it felt like, anyway. As her eyes look downward, she finds no traces of her contracted spirit.</em>
</p><p>“<em>You have nothing to be ashamed of.”</em></p><p>
  <em>She opens her eyes, a new determination in them.</em>
</p><p>“<em>I come from the Elior Forest in the north east. At least...I’m fairly certain I do. A lot of my history is unknown to me, you see...I have amnesia, and my earliest memories are from the snowy woods that were my home until several months ago.”</em></p><p>
  <em>Her sudden burst of confidence gives the representative pause as his eyes widen behind his spectacles. After a few seconds, he nods in understanding, and begins hastily scribbling notes and memos on a sheet of parchment.</em>
</p><p>“<em>Until recently, the only life I’ve ever known was very simple and underwhelming...I lived inside a hollowed out tree and usually spent my time foraging for whatever fruits and berries I could find in the forest. Sometimes I would see other people like travellers or explorers, but they usually got scared and ran away because of, well…”</em></p><p>
  <em>She never really knew how to address this elephant in the room, the ever present curse that was her pointed ears, silver hair and purple eyes directly linking her to the infamous Witch of Envy. Just like her first time approaching the villagers of Arlam…</em>
</p><p>“<em>I’m aware of how much I resemble the Witch of Envy,” She continues, having collected her thoughts, “And I can confirm I have no relation to her beyond my coincidental appearance. The bad looks and insults I sometimes get only serves to remind me that there are so many other people who experience much worse discrimination, strengthening my resolve to take the throne and change Lugunica for the better.”</em></p><p>
  <em>By the disappointment in Roswaal’s eyes, it’s clear that this portion of Emilia’s speech was not part of the plan.</em>
</p><p>“<em>I came to this mansion only a few months ago, and I’ve learned so much already...I know I’m not nearly as impressive as any of the other royal candidates, but I’m just as committed to making the world a better place as they are.”</em></p><p>
  <em>A short silence follows, mitigated only by the quiet scratching of the representative's pen on parchment as he takes more and more notes of the conversation.</em>
</p><p>“<em>That was great, Lia.”</em></p><p>
  <em>Puck’s telepathic voice eases Emilia’s racing heart, and she takes a deep breath to collect herself.</em>
</p><p>“<em>Just be yourself...”</em></p><p>
  <em>...</em>
</p><p>
  <em>...</em>
</p><p>“Yeah, so...Yeah, I’m on my way home now.”</p><p>The actual conversation taking place, as foreign as the method was, spurs Emilia from her memories. Subaru visibly cringes, gritting his teeth as he tightly closes his eyes in embarrassment which makes it pretty clear his mother just said something to tease him again.</p><p>“Yeah, about that…”</p><p>He deeply exhales, a gesture that just screams ‘you aren’t going to like this.’ Emilia once again feels a pang of guilt hit her, feeling responsible for having put Subaru in this awkward situation.</p><p>“Would it be okay if Emilia stayed with us for another week? It’s completely on me, by the way! I made the suggestion, not her!”</p><p>He quickly clarifies himself, taking extra care to divert blame away from Emilia and back onto himself – again, Emilia feels a wave of self loathing at taking advantage of his unconditional kind-hearted nature towards her.</p><p>“Y-Yeah, I suggested it to her so she could save some money rather than spend it on accommodation. Eh? Well...I’m running it by you right now, aren’t I?”</p><p>Not hearing the other side of this conversation, besides the barely audible questioning tone of Natsuki Naoko leaving the cell phone’s speaker made this whole scenario that much more awkward and strange to Emilia.</p><p>Subaru listens to the other end of the phone intently, slightly nodding his head – an odd gesture to make, given that Naoko can’t even see him right now. A tense, guilty expression is plastered on his face, and it’s clear he’s making this up as he goes along.</p><p>Again, Emilia can’t make out what Naoko is saying on the other end, but whatever it is it’s important – or intimidating enough that Subaru dare not say a word to interject. There’s a very real tension in the air as the two walk the sparsely populated street, the midday sun looming over them.</p><p>Again, Emilia spends this time berating herself. <em>She</em> put Natsuki Subaru in this precarious position. <em>She </em>was so incompetent as to have to rely on a random family in a parallel universe for a place to stay, food to eat and bed to sleep in.</p><p>And yet as much as she lay these criticisms upon herself,</p><p>She didn’t want to be alone.</p><p>So if given the opportunity, she would continue to take advantage of the Natsuki family’s hospitality, of Subaru’s kindness.</p><p>She continues to chastise herself. How inept, how coldhearted is she that she follows Subaru silently, unable to even speak for herself in a situation entirely orchestrated for her benefit? Subaru was clearly enduring some sort of scolding and was all in all putting himself into a difficult position as an intermediary between Emilia and his parents, and Emilia simply kept her mouth shut, leaving everything in his hands, expecting him to handle everything for her as if she were a lost child looking to her father for help.</p><p>Her father…</p><p>Maybe she really had replaced Puck so easily.</p><p>“...Okay. Thanks. Seriously, thanks.”</p><p>Subaru exhales in relief, clearly having at least gotten a desirable outcome from the tense conversation. He ‘hangs up’ the phone (Emilia was fairly sure that was the correct term) and stuffs it in his pocket, before turning his head to face Emilia with a weak smile.</p><p>“I...Think I’ve reached an agreement with my mom.”</p><p>Subaru chuckles to himself, awkwardly scratching his nose as something of a nervous tick.</p><p>“I mean, she says it’s okay, yeah. Now we just need to figure out how to break the truth to them in a week…”</p><p>Relieved, Emilia nonetheless had queries,</p><p>“Is your mother upset? I’m really sorry if it was a difficult conversation…”</p><p>“Eh? Pfft, nah. I’m pretty sure my mom never had anger programmed in. It was just kinda like...You know, embarrassing, concerned mother talk.”</p><p>Emilia wasn’t sure what the word ‘programmed’ meant, nor was she familiar with what a concerned mother might sound like, having no experience in a female maternal figure – as far as she was aware – to speak of.</p><p>“I see...Um...Subaru.”</p><p>She pauses after calling Subaru’s name, prompting him to turn his head to face her again, one eyebrow slightly raised.</p><p>“Eh?”</p><p>“Thank you. Again.”</p><p>Emilia speaks with such finality and emotion in her voice, Subaru’s natural attempt at wit is shot down before it starts, leaving him with an awkward smirk as he averts his gaze.</p><p>“Ah, er, yeah, you’ve got it.”</p><p>“I really mean it.”</p><p>Clasping her hands in front of her chest, Emilia continues.</p><p>“You keep doing such nice things for me, without asking for a reward. I even had to ask you to ask for a reward, earlier, and all you wanted was to just spend more time with me…”</p><p>“I can’t think of anything better than a date with Emilia-tan, though.”</p><p>Finding his awkward charm again, Subaru shoots a thumbs up in Emilia’s direction.</p><p>“Still…”</p><p>Emilia forms a pout, scrunching up her cheek slightly as she hums in defeat.</p><p>“I just feel like I owe you so much more.”</p><p>That sentiment hangs in the air for a few moments. Emilia had a feeling that all this talk about owing so many debts was growing annoying, but she couldn’t deny that it was a weight bearing over her that grew heavier and heavier every time Subaru devoted time and energy for her benefit, while she had nothing meaningful to offer him.</p><p>“I mean...If it means that much to you, I guess there is something…”</p><p>Emilia quickly nods her head, revelling at the opportunity to show her gratitude.</p><p>“I guess it can kinda be a preview on the stuff we’ll talk about on our date tomorrow, so…”</p><p>Emilia gulps. Having no idea as to what a ‘date’ even is besides Subaru’s vague description earlier, she hasn’t the faintest on what to expect in what it entails.</p><p>“Tell me what kind of awesome magic you can use!”</p><p>“...Ah?”</p><p>In the moment, Subaru had clenched his fists, holding them in a sort of power pose as he spoke.</p><p>“I mean, there <em>is</em> magic in your world, right?”</p><p>It wasn’t so much the question itself that gave Emilia pause, rather the...Mundane nature of it, at least to her. She does indeed need to momentarily remind herself that she is in an alternate universe, one where the concept of magic didn’t exist outside of fantasy and fiction.</p><p>“W-Well, yes, there is…”</p><p>“And you can use it, right?”</p><p>Subaru continues, rapid firing his interrogation and giving Emilia little time between. She takes a moment to think back – having spent over a day without absorbing or even sensing any mana in the air was...Peculiar. It wasn’t unlike the idea of having gone a week without water – a drought long enough to end anyone’s life by dehydration, and yet…</p><p>She felt fine. Mana was such a vital resource she was so intimately familiar with, and what perplexed her the most wasn’t its absence, but rather her lack of a need for it.</p><p>That distance made it somewhat difficult to even remember the kinds of magic she made use of on a regular basis in her own world. Perhaps magic was something of a ‘sixth sense’, and having been deprived of such a deep connection, it was difficult for her to even picture in her mind.</p><p>She digs through her memories, searching for a reference to explain her magical abilities.</p><p>…</p><p>...</p><p>“<em>Good morning, Lia.”</em></p><p>
  <em>Emilia felt really good, today.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>It had been several days since she first met the fluffy little spirit calling himself Puck.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>That in itself was something of a strange way to put it, at least to her. It was also Emilia’s first memories of...Existing.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>According to Puck, she had been trapped in ice when he found her, but she had no recollections of this.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>As far as she was concerned, her life began just a few days ago. Her first sight was the feline creature in front of her, sobbing and apologizing. As she rummaged through her scattered mind in these first few moments of her sudden existence, she came to have a fundamental understanding of several concepts.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Breathing. Blinking. Talking. Language. Smiling. Moving her arms. Listening. Touch. Warmth. Comfort. Love. Parents.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Was this what being born was like?</em>
</p><p>
  <em>She had no comparison to base her own circumstances off in that moment, so she simply asked.</em>
</p><p>“<em>Are you my father?”</em></p><p>
  <em>The little creature responded affirmatively.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>In the days that passed, Emilia came to understand that Puck most likely wasn’t her actual father, but she had already formed such a deep bond with him that she could no longer see him as anything else.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Which brought her to this morning.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Emilia felt really good, today.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>She and Puck had found a thick, hollowed out tree on that day she was ‘born.’ As she got used to the use of her legs and the motion of walking, running, jumping, the two happened upon the eerily well built tree-home in the snow. Eerie in the sense that, it had a door, furniture, a fireplace – as if someone else lived here, long, long ago.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>In any case, last night, the two had finally finished tidying the place up of dead leaves, grime and animal droppings. This was another concept Emilia found some natural familiarity with – a ‘home.’</em>
</p><p>
  <em>A home was a place where you lived with your loved ones, like your family, your spouse or your friends. It was a safe place, a warm place, a comfortable place. In this sense, by cleaning this hollowed out tree up and staying in it with Puck, she had found her home.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>It made her feel so warm and happy.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>So, having had a nice long rest through the night after her hard day’s work yesterday, Emilia felt really good.</em>
</p><p>“<em>Good morning, Puck.”</em></p><p>
  <em>She smiles sweetly as her fluffy friend gently lands atop her silver-haired head, and reaches a hand to pet his chin with her finger. </em>
</p><p>“<em>What would you like to do today, Lia?”</em></p><p>
  <em>Puck grins in enjoyment at the thorough chin-scratch he receives, while Emilia hums in thought.</em>
</p><p>“<em>Hmm...I think I’d like to do something fun, today.”</em></p><p>
  <em>Up until now, all she had known was hard work. Learning how to walk without falling over. Learning how to look for berries and fruits in the trees and bushes. Looking for a place to sleep during the night. Making sure her new home was clean and tidy…</em>
</p><p>
  <em>She knew there was more to life than just the bare minimum of keeping one’s self alive, but she didn’t know what it could look like. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>She knew of the concept – the concept of having fun, doing something not because it keeps you alive, like eating or sleeping, but because it’s enjoyable.</em>
</p><p>“<em>Fun, huh...Alright then. But only if you remember to get dressed!”</em></p><p>
  <em>At that, Emilia throws off her bed covers in comedic timing, revealing her primitive attire of cloth the two had stitched together that does the bare minimum to conceal herself.</em>
</p><p>“<em>I just kept my clothes on from yesterday so that even if I forget, I’m already wearing them!”</em></p><p>
  <em>Emilia bares her teeth in a wide grin, pleased with herself that she cheated the system so. Puck doesn’t seem quite so impressed as he folds his paws over each other, but he nonetheless concedes.</em>
</p><p>“<em>Well...Close enough. Let’s go.”</em></p><p>
  <em>With a “Humph” from Puck and a “Yay!” from Emilia, the two made their way outside, Emilia’s bare feet causing the snow to crunch beneath her weight. She didn’t fully understand why the bitter cold of the air around her and the snow on her feet didn’t bother her – as her understanding told her, cold was an unpleasant feeling. Puck’s suggestion for her to find shelter from the snow the day she ‘woke up’ confused her somewhat, as she felt perfectly comfortable surrounded by the sea of chilling white that encompassed the Elior Forest.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Well, she wouldn’t complain. The lack of an effect that the icy cold had on her meant she didn’t need to worry about finding or making warm clothing to stave off the chill, and if she was caught out in a snowstorm the only risk was that of getting lost rather than freezing to death.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>As she breathes in the refreshingly icy air, Emilia turns her gaze upward, to Puck still sat atop her head.</em>
</p><p>“<em>What fun thing would you like to do today?”</em></p><p>
  <em>Puck rests a paw on his chin in thought.</em>
</p><p>“<em>I dunno. This was your idea, wasn’t it?”</em></p><p>“<em>Oh...Yeah.”</em></p><p>
  <em>That was true. Emilia was the one who decided to rush outside without cleaning her teeth, brushing her hair, washing her face or even picking the grime out of her eyes.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>She had made a decision. She did something not because Puck told her to, but because she wanted to.</em>
</p><p>“<em>But...I don’t know what fun things are.”</em></p><p>
  <em>That revelation hangs in the air, as a chilling wind blows past the two.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Indeed, while many concepts came naturally to the amnesiac Emilia these past few days – breathing, eating, sleeping, talking – there were many more complex feelings she only knew about, but didn’t necessarily know how to achieve them. Enjoyment, satisfaction, love – she knew these feelings existed, and she accepted the possibility that she had unknowingly completed the required steps to experience them without realising, but an understanding of these emotions and their triggers still eluded her.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Suddenly-</em>
</p><p>“<em>Wah!”</em></p><p>
  <em>Recoiling and shielding her eyes, Emilia is startled as a crystal of ice materializes from thin air above her head, before being hurled into the ground. The source – Puck.</em>
</p><p>“<em>P-P-Puck! That was scary! Did you do that…?”</em></p><p>
  <em>She stammers and exclaims her words, stomping her foot to the snowy ground in her futile anger at being frightened so. Puck presses his paws against his hips, taking on a smug look.</em>
</p><p>“<em>You were dozing off a little, Lia, and you said you wanted to do something fun, right?”</em></p><p>“<em>W-Well, yes...But...Actually…”</em></p><p>
  <em>Emilia watches the perfectly formed and frighteningly sharp crystal of ice embedded in the snow slowly disintegrate, not melt. Her understanding of snow and ice was that it could turn into water, and she had used this trick several times now to quench her thirst, but this wasn’t normal ice, it was like….</em>
</p><p>“<em>...Magic?”</em></p><p>
  <em>What a peculiar sensation.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>In the blink of an eye, a wave of understanding and knowledge washes over Emilia’s concious. Mana, gates, od and the mental imagery required to cast spells. Was this knowledge from before her amnesia? Was she…?</em>
</p><p>“<em>...I can use magic too, right, Puck?”</em></p><p>“<em>Hmm.”</em></p><p>
  <em>Puck’s empty response, amounting to little more than a thoughtful hum, unsettles Emilia slightly.</em>
</p><p>“<em>Puck?”</em></p><p>“<em>Ah, yeah, yes! Sorry. I dunno, Lia...Why don’t we try it out?”</em></p><p>
  <em>The little spirit frantically nods his head, returning himself to the conversation at hand. Emilia finds herself taken aback; Her? Cast magic? She had just moments ago learned of magic’s very existence...Or, rather...Remembered.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Maybe…</em>
</p><p>
  <em>She stiffens her lip and nods her head, a look of determination upon her face. </em>
</p><p>“<em>Okay, I’ll try. Can you help me?”</em></p><p>
  <em>Puck gently taps Emilia’s head, reinforcing his presence to her with his soft paw.</em>
</p><p>“<em>I’ll be here just like I always am, Lia. Now...Close your eyes.”</em></p><p>
  <em>Emilia does so. </em>
</p><p>“<em>Now...Relax, and focus.”</em></p><p>
  <em>Emilia takes a deep breath, and gradually begins to loosen her muscles. As the tension in her arms and legs loosens, so too are concerns and anxieties she had been pondering these past few days flushed from her mind.</em>
</p><p>“<em>Picture the mana flowing through you, Lia.”</em></p><p>
  <em>So far, her memories were lining up accurately with Puck’s instructions. Mana, mana...What does it feel like? What does it look like? As much as she was remembering these concepts, she lacked any sort of visual reference to put to them. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>She furrows her brow, attempting to form an image of mana inside her body, failing that, her attention diverts and her mind wanders.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>The cold air blowing past her…</em>
</p><p>
  <em>A clump of snow falls from a tree branch, making a distinct crunching sound as it meets the ground.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>The chill coursing through her bare toes on the frigid snow-</em>
</p><p>
  <em>There it is.</em>
</p><p>“<em>Haaaaah!”</em></p><p>
  <em>In an instant, it materializes before her, a deadly projectile of ice, its tip lethally sharp.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Emilia opens her eyes to marvel at her creation.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Only, on laying eyes upon this creation of mana and ice, Emilia is filled not with a sense of awe and satisfaction,</em>
</p><p>
  <em>but fear.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>With this newfound knowledge – or rather, remembered knowledge – Emilia now possessed the ability to maim, hurt and kill.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>This concept didn’t exist to her before this moment. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>But as she ran her eyes along the frigid edge of this chunk of ice fashioned into a tool to kill, Emilia remembered.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>This was a world where people would hurt each other. This was a world where life was as beautiful as it was easy to take away. Somewhere in the deep recesses of her mind, Emilia possessed the knowledge, practice and perhaps even the will to kill. At some point in her life, before being found by Puck, before being frozen beneath a layer of unmeltable ice, Emilia had learned how to create this weapon.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>The implications of this revelation frightened her.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>That was the first instance of Emilia losing her innocence.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>That was the first time Emilia hated herself.</em>
</p><p>…</p><p>…</p><p>“...I’m a user of fire magic.”</p><p>Subaru lets an “Oooh” escape his lips, eager to hear more.</p><p>“My speciality is using ice crystals as projectiles, but really I’m not very powerful or skilled on my own...I rely on my contracted spirit most of all when it comes to using magic.”</p><p>Subaru intently nods and, in jest raises his hand as if he were a student in a classroom.</p><p>“Sensei, what’s a contracted spirit?”</p><p>Well aware she was being teased again, Emilia recalls that she was providing Subaru this knowledge out of the debt she felt she owed, so she chooses to let it slide.</p><p>“Well...I think forming a contract with a spirit means different things for different people, but in my case I have a very close bond with one specific, very powerful spirit...Sort of like a sentient being formed from mana, and he helps me cast magic. I can also communicate with lesser spirits: spirits who haven’t had enough time to become sentient creatures yet.”</p><p>Flicking his fingers, Subaru adds to that explanation.</p><p>“And mana is the energy you use to cast spells, right?”</p><p>Emilia nods, affirming his assumption with an “Mhm.”</p><p>“Wait...Subaru, how did you know that? I thought there wasn’t any mana in this world…Does that come from your ‘isekai’ stories?”</p><p>The thought that the realities of her world and by extension her life were simple fantasy and fiction in this world was...Unsettling for Emilia.</p><p>“Er...Well, y-yeah, I guess so.”</p><p>Rubbing the back of his neck as he speaks, Subaru quickly seeks to change the topic away from the stories he likes to read.</p><p>“You said you use fire magic...But you use it to shoot ice projectiles?”</p><p>“Mhm. I tried using spells like Goa, but…”</p><p>Subaru tilts his head at Emilia’s incomplete statement. “But…?”</p><p>“Well...I think I’m scared of fire.”</p><p>That admission earns a mischievous smirk from Subaru, who attempts to stifle his snicker.</p><p>“Emilia-tan keeps finding new ways to be adorable...But wait, if lesser spirits aren’t sentient, is there any point in trying to talk to them?”</p><p>That rude assumption earns Subaru a pouty look and a furrowed brow from Emilia, who presses her fists to her hips as she continues her lecture.</p><p>“The lesser spirits are actually very kind and helpful, you know! They even notice things that the most intelligent beings might miss. Some people are actually very intimately connected to lesser spirits, and can only cast magic with their help.”</p><p>By now, the two’s conversation had lasted them long enough that they had passed into the suburbs where Subaru’s home was located. Having walked down these streets a couple of times now, Emilia was beginning to make a mental map of the area, and recognized small landmarks like roadsigns and the ‘train tracks’ that required crossing over.</p><p>“I guess every parallel fantasy has its own rules…”</p><p>So Subaru mutters to himself, before turning to face Emilia again.</p><p>“You mentioned you had a close bond with your contracted spirit, is that your dad that you’ve mentioned a few times?”</p><p>“Mm,” Emilia hums as she nods, a certain sadness in her tone. “Puck. He’s really important to me, and I really miss him.”</p><p>Emilia chooses to speak no further on that subject, as she had chosen to keep any pain she was feeling being isolated from the world she knew to herself when she vowed to solve this problem by herself. Subaru too, has a look that implies he isn’t sure how to comment, being that he agreed to Emilia’s terms of partial-self-reliance.</p><p>“...Just let me know if you ever need any help, alright?”</p><p>“...Mm.”</p><p>A short silence follows, before Emilia finishes her magical explanation.</p><p>“I’m really not very good at using magic, though. Puck needs to disappear in order to recharge his mana reserves after sunset, and sometimes he might be gone for a few days in order to have a rest. It’s at that point that I’m most vulnerable, since compared to most magic users I’m little more than a novice…”</p><p>“Ah,” Subaru scoffs, “I bet you’re just selling yourself short, Emilia-tan. If your beauty is anything like your magic powers, I bet they’re awesomely powerful.”</p><p>Emilia still hadn’t quite gotten used to this regular occurrence of being called ‘beautiful’ by Subaru. She had managed to work towards a personal understanding that other people besides Puck were capable of complimenting her, or even being nice to her, but it still felt a little strange. Not in a bad way, by any means, if anything she felt a certain...Fluttering in her chest anytime Subaru said nice things to her, and it seemed to instinctively bring a smile to her face.</p><p>As if on cue with that instinct, Emilia turns her smiling face to her companion.</p><p>“You’re so very strange, Subaru.”</p><p>“Eh!? That’s not the response I was expecting!”</p><p>Emilia stifles a giggle at his flustered reaction, though to Subaru’s credit Emilia couldn’t figure out a way to properly articulate how she felt in this moment.</p><p>“I don’t mean it in a bad way! It’s just...Strange. You keep asking for such underwhelming rewards for all the kind things you’ve done for me.”</p><p>“Ah, Emilia-tan, my poor heart…”</p><p>Clutching his chest in an overly dramatic fashion, Subaru continues.</p><p>“Emilia-tan, maybe the things I’m asking for are underwhelming for you, but for me…”</p><p>He pauses, thinking to himself how best to word the next portion of his explanation.</p><p>“I’m not a forward-thinking kind of guy, y’know? I want what I want when I want it. So earlier today, I wanted to go on a date with you, and I wanted it more than anything in the world...So I asked for it. Just there, I wanted to learn more about your world and the awesome magic you can use in it, so I asked about it. I guess in some ways that makes me pretty simple and stupid, but in the end I at least know what I want, or at least what I think I want, in order to find my happiness.”</p><p>Emilia’s eyes widen slightly at such an honest, self-deprecating admission.</p><p>After all, she, for all intents and purposes followed the exact opposite philosophy.</p><p>She was a very forward thinking person. She wanted to become King of Lugunica to enact her ideals to the world, and to follow up her personal agreement with Roswaal L. Mathers. She would spend her hours alone deliberating on what her next step should be, how best to further her long-term goals.</p><p>And yet she found herself completely incompetent and incapable of following through with any of these plans. When asked <em>how </em>she was going to become King, she would simply stutter, offer a half-answer or deflect the question somehow. She didn’t even know if she <em>really</em> wanted to be King for the sake of being King, or if she was just following these schemes for her own selfish reasons.</p><p>Subaru knew what he wanted, and even if it was only for short term gain, he wasn’t afraid to take it.</p><p>Emilia didn’t know for certain what she wanted, and as much as she tried to think and plan, she could never figure out how to achieve it.</p><p>The comparison humbles her and shows to her her own inadequacy that she feels compelled to apologise.</p><p>“I’m sorry, Subaru. I didn’t mean it in a bad way...I’m glad you asked me to go on a ‘date’ with you, and that you asked me about my magical abilities.”</p><p>“Y-Yeah!?” A burst of excitement is promptly toned down by Subaru’s shame as he clears his throat. “Yeah? Because, y’know...I’m looking forward to our date, like, a lot.”</p><p>Pressing her fingers to her lips to stifle a laugh at Subaru’s enthusiasm, Emilia reciprocates the sentiment.</p><p>“Me too.”</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0010"><h2>10. The Happy Natsuki Household, Continued</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Hello hello! It's been some time, and I do apologise for such a short chapter after so much time. Rest assured, this fanfiction is not dead. The new year kept me busy, plus some writers block and some other things just taking up my spare time instead. </p><p>In this chapter, Emilia gets to spend some more time in the Natsuki household!</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>The one storey building that was the Natsuki household was a lot more...Intimidating than the last time Emilia was here, only several hours ago. She finds herself idly running her nails through the hair on the side of her head, both out of a nervous reflex and also in an effort to cover her distinctly out of place pointed ears with strands of silver.</p><p>Was her unease warranted? That was yet another conundrum running through her mind at the moment. She knew she was very much taking advantage of the Natsuki family’s kindness and hospitality, and this reliance tormented her incessantly – Even when it had directly been offered to her by Subaru – She couldn’t shake the feeling that she was doing something wrong in placing all this responsibility in Naoko, Kenichi and Subaru.</p><p>And yet, on the other hand, the Natsuki family had proven themselves to be caring, patient and trustworthy already. Was Emilia not doing a disservice to them by second-guessing her decision to trust them?</p><p>And ultimately, it wasn’t as if playing all these mental gymnastics would change anything. Emilia knew for a fact she <em>needed </em>someone by her side, especially in this entirely separate reality to her own. She could toil and berate herself all day like she had already been doing, but in the end she knew she would still try and convince Subaru to look out for her. The fact he so willingly offered her his hand in assistance just sped up that process.</p><p>Subaru takes in a deep breath in an attempt to pep himself up to meet his parents again.</p><p>Emilia told herself time and again she would find a way to make all this up to her newest friend’s willingness to be put in the line of fire, so to speak. No doubt he was in for a real scolding from his parents for all of these spur-of-the-moment decisions, just like when Emilia tried to sneak off with Mother Fortuna’s-</p><p>…?</p><p>Her eyelids flutter in momentary bewilderment.</p><p>The front door of the Natsuki’s home opens, and the oddity in Emilia’s mind passes.</p><p>“We’re home!”</p><p>Subaru calls out across the entrance hallway as he pulls off his shoes onto the genkan, a politeness Emilia still found herself grappling to understand but nonetheless copies, slipping out of her borrowed pumps.</p><p>A pleasant aroma wafts in the air, and combined with the distinct sound of meat sizzling against a pan, Emilia could deduce dinner was being cooked. She shuts her eyes for a moment to breath in the scent as, she did feel herself growing somewhat hungry in the hours after her early lunch this morning.</p><p>“Hello, hello!” A voice very much like Subaru’s, if a little deeper in tone calls out above the noise in the kitchen, signalling that Kenichi is the one at work there. In time with this realization, Emilia spots him poking his head out from the kitchen to look down the hall, a wide grin across his face. “Pasta for dinner! Make yourself at home, Emilia!”</p><p>“Pass...Tah.”</p><p>Emilia absent-mindedly mutters the word back to herself as Subaru leads her through the familiar household. The clean, smooth and laminated wooden flooring feels remarkably comfortable on her bare feet, and the modest, small space of the main living room area gives her a cozy feeling, at least in comparison to the massive scale of Roswaal’s mansion. She spends a few moments admiring the décor – an observation she didn’t have the chance to take this morning. Various little figures and knick-knacks in the shape of foreign, cute animals Emilia didn’t have names for line a shelf just at the end of the hall, the rustic carpet between the sofa and “television” blends nicely with the smooth wood floor, and the pleasant smell of whatever “pasta” is wafts from the kitchen into the living room.</p><p>It was so unbelievably cozy, and yet so...Sad.</p><p>It reminds her of the feelings she harboured for Puck.</p><p>This was what family felt like.</p><p>“Hey, Emilia...How about you make yourself at home? I gotta talk to my dad about some things.”</p><p>“Oh, er- If that’s what you think is best. I’m not really…”</p><p>Subaru tilts his head slightly at Emilia’s hesitation to finish her sentence.</p><p>“I’m not really sure how to ‘make myself at home.’”</p><p>He breathes a laugh at her social ineptitude, and motions an arm to the comfortable looking couch in the room.</p><p>“It just sorta means like, ‘treat my home like it’s yours’, so if you wanna sit down, or if you wanna sneak away with a snack from the fridge, feel free to. If you wanna poke around in my room some more...Well...A man needs to be able to make sacrifices for the greater good.”</p><p>“Oh…”</p><p>Brushing aside that Emilia had no idea what a ‘fridge’ was, or what Subaru was referring to with the word ‘sacrifices’, she was beginning to see some similarities between this arrangement and her time in the Roswaal manor, so the concept of treating someone else’s home like her own wasn’t entirely foreign. There was, however, an important distinction in her mind.</p><p>In the mansion, she adhered to a strict schedule. Dinner was always served at a specified time, study in the evening, maybe she’d have an extra hour to sleep in in the morning but when it came down to it Emilia was as much working a job as she was living in a home. With her agreement with Roswaal, certain freedoms were limited: She wasn’t allowed to leave the manor grounds after dark, and even during the day she required an escort by Ram or Rem. She was allowed extremely limited contact with people outside of the inhabitants of the mansion: Puck was the only real exception, and if she wanted to interact with the villagers of Arlam she either needed to wear her concealment cloak or seek permission from Roswaal himself.</p><p>Subaru’s lackadaisical approach was…</p><p>It was different, in an important way.</p><p>Emilia carefully takes a seat on the couch as Subaru leaves the room for the kitchen. Now with nought but the faint sounds of boiling water in the adjacent room to distract her, Emilia’s thoughts began to linger.</p><p>“Mother...Fortuna.”</p><p>What is this name dancing on the fringes of her mind? Who does it belong to? Does Emilia know them? Why does Emilia know them, by name...?</p><p>She could recall several occasions since she arrived in this world that some faint, vague thought resembling a memory would briefly pop up in her thoughts, triggered by something seemingly random and irrelevant. She would hesitate in a moment of grasping to understand it, and just as suddenly as it appeared, it would dissipate into the deep recesses of her conscious. It was, however, especially peculiar, as after the fact, she could recall the event of the ‘memory’ occurring, but not the memory itself. Like the profound ‘tip of the tongue’ sensation, she <em>knew </em>there was something she <em>wanted</em> to remember, and she could fathom a blurry, incomplete idea of what the memory was – a face, a voice or a location, but enough elements would be missing that she couldn’t form a coherent thought about it.</p><p>Except for that name.</p><p>Fortuna.</p><p>Somehow she had been able to...’Grasp’ it and not let go, minutes ago when it appeared in her head.</p><p>But that was all it was, just a name.</p><p>Well, no, maybe it was slightly more than a name.</p><p>The momentary fondness she felt for it lead her to assume whoever this person it belonged to was important to Emilia, somehow. And, with a title like ‘Mother’…</p><p>But that fondness had passed. The references in her memories were gone, and even though she knew she had experienced them – if very briefly – She couldn’t convince her heart to resonate with this name again.</p><p>It was profound and frustrating.</p><p>So, Fortuna was all she lingered on.</p><p>That name, and Emilia’s brief reverence for it.</p><p>“Hey.”</p><p>…?</p><p>“So...Thanks.”</p><p>Emilia’s thoughts derail once again as her pointed ears pick up on the faint conversation in the kitchen between Subaru and his father. She can only just make out Subaru’s awkward gratitude over the sizzling sound of “pasta” being cooked, but she nonetheless feels a certain amount of guilt in inadvertently eavesdropping like this.</p><p>With no response from Kenichi, Subaru reaffirms his gratitude.</p><p>“Seriously, thanks. I’m gonna say it to mom, too, but I know I’m really pushing my luck.”</p><p>A faint chuckle can be heard from Kenichi.</p><p>“Hah...Wish you could’ve told us sooner you had such a close friend, kiddo.”</p><p>“...Sorry.”</p><p>There wasn’t really an excuse Subaru could make, considering Emilia was in fact, not a long-time friend visiting from a different country within the boundaries of this universe, so Subaru’s apology in defeat made sense. The sincerity of it all seems to take Kenichi aback, as he quickly switches to a jovial tone.</p><p>“Ah, it’s all good, son. I’m sure your mother will want to talk about stuff, as she likes to do, but I’ve no qualms about your choice in girlfriend.”</p><p>Subaru hums in thought and agreement, before a distinct realisation about what his father just said hits him.</p><p>“Hmm, hmm…Wait hold on a sec! Did you just imply something…!?”</p><p>“Got three seconds left to deny it, kiddo.”</p><p>One second to process the information, another to formulate a response, and a third moment to-</p><p>“Now hold on a second-!”</p><p>“Too late! Ah...I’m so proud, my son’s finally found his soul mate.”</p><p>The conversation quickly devolves into chuckling and a long-winded groan from Subaru, until Kenichi gets all of his laughs out. Despite Subaru’s bickering, just based on hearing them speak it’s clear to Emilia the two are enjoying the familial banter...Even if she isn’t entirely able to pinpoint what Kenichi is mocking his son for in the first place.</p><p>“Ahah...But, well...There is something, Subaru.”</p><p>“Eh?”</p><p>“Since your Mom and I seem to be doing such a big favour for you...”</p><p>“I’m not going to school, Dad.”</p><p>The finality in that statement brings the conversation to an abrupt halt, and even Emilia finds herself taken aback by the seriousness of Subaru’s tone.</p><p>“...Alright.”</p><p>Defeated, and clearly lacking the will to argue the terms of an agreement he himself suggested in the first place, Kenichi hums thoughtfully, ending the conversation. A few more seconds pass, and the sound of Subaru’s footsteps approach as he re-enters the main room of the house.</p><p>“Hey, Emilia-tan, want to get started on learning some Japanese?”</p><hr/><p>Well, this was truly peculiar. Numerous things, in fact.</p><p>Subaru had activated his device known as a ‘computer’, for one thing – an incredibly complex metia (if that term was even applicable in this world) for the purpose of holding, storing and gathering information. Sitting on a spare chair to watch him manipulate the peripherals called a ‘mouse’ and ‘keyboard’, Emilia’s eyes frantically follow the stream of text, images that constantly shifted and change as Subaru expertly made use of this seemingly complex tool.</p><p>Based on his explanation, this ‘computer’ was connected to a massive network of other ‘computers’ spanning the entire world, and each and every user of those computers both contributed to a massive pool of information and records, as well as using it for the purpose of communication.</p><p>“Could this be...The Od Laguna of this world?”</p><p>The concept wasn’t so alien to Emilia. Od Laguna was said to be the “core” of her world, from which all mana flows from and eventually returns to. As mana and its interaction with one’s Od was the essence of life – at least in her world, she had often read theories and speculation that life itself may originate from Od Laguna, and perhaps return to after death.</p><p>Whether these theories had any truth to them or not, the concept of life contributing to a singular point over time made some amount of sense to Emilia with her previous research on concepts from her own world.</p><p>Saying that however, she couldn’t really see how this relatively small device could have such capabilities as to connect across the entire world, but then again she had no real reference to understand the information on the screen in the first place.</p><p>“Right! Time for your introduction to Japanese.”</p><p>Besides the unfathomable device before her, the other peculiarity that surprised Emilia was just how ...Easy to understand she found this completely alien language. Truly, the basic rules of her own writing system were present in the script called “Hiragana” and so, for Emilia, picking up this entirely different language seemed to be little more than memorizing different symbols with the same pronunciation and meaning.</p><p>The two had been practising using flashcards for the past half an hour. Subaru would show Emilia a symbol, and test whether she could remember the pronunciation of it. With her stellar consistency, backed by how naturally she understood the concepts, Subaru eventually needs to ask:</p><p>“Jeez, Emilia-tan...Are you sure you’re not fluent?”</p><p>Emilia holds her chin, thinking how best to explain herself.</p><p>“It’s so strange to say but...Your ‘Japanese’ is strangely...Familiar. Looking at these ‘Hiragana’ symbols, it’s structured similarly...Exactly the same way as i-glyphs from my language.”</p><p>“Huh…”</p><p>That revelation gives Subaru pause as he sets the stack of flashcards on his desk to ponder.</p><p>“Hmm...Now there’s something else that can’t be a coincidence…”</p><p>Subaru holds his chin, closing his eyes in thought. In all honesty, Emilia didn’t think much of the similarities between their writing systems beyond how much easier it was going to make learning Japanese, but with Subaru so lost in thought about it, she couldn’t help but wonder herself.</p><p>She had limited knowledge of nations outside of Lugnica since all of her studies during her time at Roswaal’s manor were on Lugnican politics and history, so Emilia couldn’t say whether or not the rest of her world all spoke the same tongue. In fact, the idea of a different language in the first place was...Unfamiliar to her, since she had only ever learnt and spoken the common tongue of Lugnica.</p><p>With that in mind, was it really so strange that her world and this one were so similar when it came to communication? Was it an expectation for a differing nation or indeed universe to also come with a different language?</p><p>Again, Emilia did not know. She had no reference for concepts such as this.</p><p>“Could it be…”</p><p>Having reached some sort of conclusion, Subaru’s eyes open and he raises his finger to make his point. Emilia tilts her head, waiting for him to continue.</p><p>“Well...It’s just a theory at the moment, but...If we accept that our worlds are linked enough that people can travel between them, then...It only makes sense that someone from my world could have been sent to yours at some point, right?”</p><p>Emilia nods intently, her gaze fixated on Subaru’s determined eyes. Her circumstances in mind, it wasn’t so outlandish to think that the same thing that happened to her could also happen in reverse. In some ways, the thought that such an occurrence wasn’t exclusive to her gave her a sense of optimism that there may be someone out there with the answers she was looking for...And a method to return home.</p><p>“Hmm. Hmm...I think I understand what you mean.”</p><p>With the similarities piling up between these two supposedly unrelated universes, the possibility that Emilia may in fact be able to find a connection to her own world in this one presented itself. Could it really be such a coincidence that she and Subaru spoke the same tongue? That their writing systems followed such a similar set of rules and concepts? Heck, just the fact that Emilia didn’t have any sort of deathly allergic reaction to the food in this world suggested her biology was similar, if not near identical to the people of this one, save for her pointed ears and comparatively pale skin.</p><p>This revelation in mind, Subaru’s next words throw her for a loop.</p><p>“Right? That means there’s the possibility<em> I</em> could visit your awesome fantasy world!”</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0011"><h2>11. The Most Successful Failure</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>A/N: Hey! Long time no see again. Remember! The fanfiction isn't dead! I'm just...Really lazy.</p>
<p>Anyway! In this chapter, we take another little detour from Subaru and Emilia. Enjoy!</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>It could be said that Natsuki Kenichi was the spitting image of the ideal man.</p>
<p>He was athletic and physically capable, maintaining a healthy, muscular body through a mixture of a generally active lifestyle as well as a daily exercise routine, well into his late forties. Many people he knew in his age group stayed relatively fit through passive exercise, like walking to work, rushing to catch a train or riding a bicycle as opposed to taking the car. Kenichi stood out among his peers with his regimen of weight lifting, push-ups and ensuring he never skipped leg day.</p>
<p>He was attractive and charismatic, carrying a natural energy that caught the eye of women of any age or demographic. He was tall and often in a suit as he travelled to and from work, earning the gaze of mature ladies and single mothers everywhere, and yet his smooth skin, unkempt hair and easy-going personality was appealing to those twenty years his junior. He could recall many a time he had to politely decline a sudden invitation on a date in the middle of the street, as well as the mixture of flattery and discomfort that comes with a group of teenagers ogling you from a distance.</p>
<p>He had a natural talent for seemingly any activity or skill he wanted or needed to pick up. An instrument, jogging, singing, technology – With a little bit of practice and time to learn the basics, Kenichi’s range of abilities seemed vast and effortless.</p>
<p>He played the role of a ‘provider’ for his family, enjoying a successful career in his work life that ensured a comfortable life for his wife and son. His seemingly natural ability to come to grips with any challenges presented to him made climbing a corporate ladder a mere matter of time rather than any technical limitations. His charm and overall charisma made it easy to sway a manager to his side, gain the support of his peers, and ultimately allow him to play the system in whatever office he was stationed at.</p>
<p>He had a wife whom he loved and protected dearly, a son he would give his life for, and a life that seemed so like the ideals he had heard of in the concepts of a traditional “nuclear family” from overseas, he earned the envy of those around him.</p>
<p>“<em>Naoko and you are so easygoing, do you really never have any arguments?”</em></p>
<p>“<em>I’m so jealous of how well you get along with your family, it’s hard for us to keep away from eachother’s throats!”</em></p>
<p>“<em>Your son is so quiet and well behaved for his age, how do you do it?”</em></p>
<p>Indeed, Natsuki Kenichi’s life seemed the peak existence for any man. A loving spouse, a successful career, a healthy body, a quiet, pleasant neighbourhood and a son to live for and carry on his legacy. Barring the occasional inappropriate flirting sent his way by women who weren’t aware of his marriage or just too young to know any better, Natsuki Kenichi really had nothing to complain about.</p>
<p>Truly, he was the most successful failure he knew.</p>
<hr/>
<p>Natsuki Kenichi first met his wife-to-be Naoko in the early nineteen-nineties, a period he looked back on with nostalgia, much like many in their middle-age who looked back fondly on the tail end of Japan’s “golden age” of technology, culture and economic boom. Kenichi wasn’t a man who struggled to meet women – be it in a bar, a colleague from work or just an old friend he wanted to catch up with, it could be said he was spoilt for choice on who he wanted to take on a date or indeed have a relationship with.</p>
<p>He wasn’t wasteful with money, so he could always take a girl to a nice place to eat. He was attractive, flirty and always knew the right thing to say. He could recall countless dates that ended with a “Let’s do this again sometime,” only for him to delete their number and sever all ties, rationalizing that she wasn’t “the one.”</p>
<p>So what was it about the plain, unremarkable young woman named Naoko that had Natsuki Kenichi coming back for more?</p>
<p>Well, perhaps it was their first meeting that set her apart, for one.</p>
<hr/>
<p>“<em>Hey, hey, hey babe. How’d you like to earn some quick and easy money this evening?”</em></p>
<p>
  <em>Compared to many other cities around the world, Tokyo was a notably safe city. Crime rates had never been lower than they were in recent years, and with the nation’s strict laws, access to harmful weapons was extremely difficult.</em>
</p>
<p>“<em>Oh, good evening! Hmmm...I guess it couldn’t hurt, if you really need help with something.”</em></p>
<p>
  <em>But, even so, in any population, if humanity’s worst is going to strike, it will be at night.</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>Natsuki Kenichi was no stranger to a lonely, dimly lit walk home after overtime at work. His commute would regularly take him through his local area’s red-light district, where “girl bars”, regular bars and any number of other gentleman’s clubs were the local business.</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>None of it was prostitution, not really. While many of Kenichi’s peers looked down in disgust at the women employed in the seedier sides of town, Kenichi wasn’t ignorant of the boundaries set in a so called “hostess-club”, where a customer hires a woman to have a drink, conversation or meal with them. Kenichi had once tried it himself, and enjoyed the experience well enough – it was...Freeing, to talk with a complete stranger about whatever might be on your mind that night. The hostess might not care – She’s just doing her job, after all – But for the customer, it is a real opportunity to vent your troubles and just have someone to talk to for an evening.</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>So, the sight of a ditzy, friendly and maybe airheaded young woman employed in the red-light district wasn’t an unusual one for Kenichi.</em>
</p>
<p>“<em>Oh yeah, that’s good. It’s super simple babe, simple voiceover gig, just need you to make use of that sweet, sweet voice you’ve got for an hour or two.”</em></p>
<p>
  <em>But, something about the conversation happening to Kenichi’s left as he passed rubbed him the wrong way.</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>While official businesses of course had clear boundaries for what their hostesses could and couldn’t do, you were obviously asking for trouble if you even so much as humour a shady peddler on the street offering any form of employment in the dead of night. From the corner of his eye, Kenichi honestly couldn’t fathom why this attractive young woman hadn’t turned tail and walked away in disgust, as he makes note of the haggling man’s slumped posture, thinning hair and unpleasant choice in attire that made it abundantly clear he didn’t represent any sort of legitimate business.</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>With the goal of ‘rescuing’ this young woman from herself set, Kenichi had only a split second to plan out his approach. Aggressive? He was a tall, muscular man, so it would likely be a simple thing to intimate this creep, and if it came to it, he was no stranger to punching someone in the jaw – School life isn’t always an easy thing, after all.</em>
</p>
<p>“<em>Gotta think of something fast; worst case scenario, this innocent young woman might find herself involved with all the wrong people…!”</em></p>
<p>
  <em>With remarkably fluidity in his change of posture, Natsuki Kenichi puts on his best ‘drunken idiot’ personality.</em>
</p>
<p>“<em>Oooiiii! Good evening you three...Two.”</em></p>
<p>
  <em>Bringing himself to a stop, he slips into the conversation, physically placing himself between the creep and the young lady with an exaggerated, giddy smile on his face, hiding his utter contempt for the scum in front of him taking advantage of a desperate, overly trusting or just downright lacking in street smarts woman.</em>
</p>
<p>“<em>Sorry, sorry, am I interrupting something? Anyway, bit lost, can you point me to-”</em></p>
<p>
  <em>Continuing his fake drunken tirade, Kenichi tops off his performance with a gradual increase in the slurring of his words, before cutting himself off with a sudden hiccup that hurts his throat to force.</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>Truly, this wasn’t Natsuki Kenichi at his most graceful, but-</em>
</p>
<p>“<em>The sacrifices men make for the greater good…” Is how he justified it.</em></p>
<p>“<em>...Can you point me to...Uh...To...Somewhere I’ve forgotten.”</em></p>
<p>
  <em>The young woman promptly offers him an arm for support, his spur-of-the-moment and poorly planned attempt at looking like as much of a drunken slob as possible having apparently worked. </em>
</p>
<p>“<em>Oh my goodness...You have to be more careful in the future! Why aren’t your friends helping you home?”</em></p>
<p>
  <em>Maybe it wasn’t so out of the ordinary his performance had earned the rapport of the young woman: after all, a slob legitimately in his state was just as common a sight in the evening streets as a female employee of the surrounding establishments.</em>
</p>
<p>“<em>Nah, nah, I’m perfectly fine! Watch-”</em></p>
<p>
  <em>Lifting himself up in an attempt to straighten his posture, Kenichi instead tilts his weight back a little more than necessary, pretending to almost fall on his ass before he catches himself with a few hops backwards as he finds his balance again.</em>
</p>
<p>“<em>Jeez...I should be an actor, at this rate.”</em></p>
<p>
  <em>His inner thoughts notwithstanding, his continued display seems to have worked. Clearly having realised this whole situation wasn’t worth the trouble, the weirdo who had been peddling his so called ‘work offers’ has made himself scarce, as Kenichi spies him at the far end of the street, no doubt cursing the drunken lunatic that ruined his easy mark.</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>Well, that was what Kenichi was going to tell himself, anyway.</em>
</p>
<p>“<em>Please be careful! Are you okay? Let’s see if we can find a place for you to sit down...”</em></p>
<p>
  <em>The young woman holds her hand to Kenichi’s back for support in an effort to stop him from toppling over, and her genuine concern wounds Kenichi’s heart somewhat as he wonders if his dishonest approach was the right way to handle this.</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>With no need for the continued theatrics, seeing as the threat had moved on, Kenichi tones down his performance and stands up straight.</em>
</p>
<p>“<em>Ah...I think I’m okay now. Thank you very much, miss.”</em></p>
<p>“<em>Are you sure? You can find your way home? Remember to drink lots of water before you go to sleep!”</em></p>
<p>
  <em>And so, after dismissing some more motherly worries, Kenichi returned home that night, something of a spring in his step from his good deed for the day. At the time, he wasn’t entirely certain why he intervened – it wasn’t really any of his business, and it was questionable just how much danger the ditzy young woman was really in in the first place, but he had seen enough news stories about young women working in red-light districts being lured in and taken advantage of that he just had a bad feeling on that street.</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>He thought about that airheaded young woman a lot the next day. Even if her sharp eyes and small pupils were a little offputting, the way she carried herself was so heartfelt and caring. How quickly she leaped to the aid of a stranger on the street both impressed Kenichi and left him feeling a little guilty at his dishonesty. She had such cute brunette hair tied in a long ponytail, and in hindsight her soft voice brought a warm smile to Kenichi’s face.</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>He sighed, and returned to the mundane task at hand in his repetitive office job. As much as he tried to steer his thoughts away, he couldn’t help but continue to run the night before in his head again and again. Maybe there was another way he could’ve handled it. Maybe he should’ve told her the truth of why he interjected into her conversation, instead of just stumbling down the street like a moron until he was out of sight.</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>Something about the woman...Was different. Special.</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>Another late night shift over, and Kenichi was once again taking his lonely walk home, cutting through the red-light district. It wasn’t particularly because he even liked this side of town, it honestly was just the fastest route home from his place of work.</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>Well, that wasn’t entirely true.</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>Part of him hoped he might see that woman again. I mean, if she worked here, there was the chance, right?</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>It was a lot of different assumptions all piled up into a slightly irrational decision about his commute, butit really...Couldn’t...Hurt…?</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>Well, he certainly got his wish that night.</em>
</p>
<p>“<em>Hey...Good evening, sweetheart. Something tells me a lovely face like yours stands to earn some easy cash tonight.”</em></p>
<p>“…<em>? Oh...Hello! It’s you again, you certainly disappeared off somewhere the last time we talked, hm?”</em></p>
<p>
  <em>Was this fate? The exact same situation presented itself to Natsuki Kenichi, like a second chance to properly introduce himself to this woman. Here she is, confronted by the exact same shady guy from last night, once again presenting her a most likely dishonest offer for work that would quickly take a dark turn were she to accept it. For a moment, he wonders if this is Groundhog Day, deja vu, or if this woman really is this airheaded…</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>Well, he knew he wasn’t going to screw it up this time.</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>Taking a deep breath, he approaches the two and introduces himself.</em>
</p>
<p>“<em>Hi, good evening, guys. Sorry, do you two know the area well? I’m trying to find…”</em></p>
<p>
  <em>With a look of fake shock on his face, Kenichi pretends as though he’s begun to slowly recognize the woman who “helped” him the night before.</em>
</p>
<p>“<em>-Sorry, weird question, have we met?”</em></p>
<p>
  <em>The woman’s smile widens and she nods her head excitedly, clearly having recognized Kenichi herself.</em>
</p>
<p>“<em>I thought I recognized you! From last night? How are you? Did you get home okay?”</em></p>
<p>
  <em>Subtly breathing a sigh of relief, Kenichi finds some solace he’s managed to interject into the conversation – probably the most difficult part of his plan. He nods his head in return, chuckling to himself as he thinks back to the state he pretended to be in yesterday.</em>
</p>
<p>“<em>Yeah, I managed okay I think. It was really kind of you to help me out – Maybe it’s fate that I got this opportunity to say thank you?”</em></p>
<p>
  <em>The woman giggles to herself, holding her finger to her lips to stifle it. The fact his pickup line had such an effect leaves Kenichi with a fluttering feeling in his chest, and he finds himself at a loss for words as he stares for a moment.</em>
</p>
<p>“<em>Ah, come on, buddy. Are you for real? This was supposed to be so easy…”</em></p>
<p>
  <em>The shady guy, having clearly lost his patience both from Kenichi’s intrusion last night and today, lets an aggravated groan escape him as he furrows his brow and becomes more and more stand-off-ish.</em>
</p>
<p>“<em>Can’t you just keep your freakin’ nose out of other people’s business? I had this mark all lined up, easy target, simple to manipulate…”</em></p>
<p>
  <em>Having made his intentions clear and given up, the shady guy turns and begins making his way down the street, muttering to himself.</em>
</p>
<p>“<em>Oh...Was it something I said?”</em></p>
<p>
  <em>After a few seconds of awkward silence, the young woman poses her question, apparently still completely ignorant to what had actually just transpired. To anyone else, her dimwittedness would seem comical, but to Natsuki Kenichi…</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>He felt an overwhelming desire to protect the simple kindness this woman seemingly felt for all things.</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>It was a feeling that now, moment to moment, grew more intense in his heart. Unable to offer a real answer to the woman’s question, he simply states,</em>
</p>
<p>“<em>My name’s Kenichi.”</em></p>
<p>
  <em>Without missing a beat, the woman responds, a sweet smile upon her face,</em>
</p>
<p>“<em>I’m Naoko.”</em></p>
<hr/>
<p>Kenichi and Naoko would stay in contact after that night, maintaining friendly relations even if Kenichi never really explained the danger he suspected Naoko was in and how he orchestrated their meeting the way he did in the first place. Their simple stance as acquaintances would quickly progress as they began dating, dating would turn to romance, romance would change to living together, and within a year the two were engaged.</p>
<p>Many would suggest that the two were taking things too quickly, not approaching their relationship with a cool head and letting their hormones rule their decision making. Kenichi recalls his colleagues’ shock when he broke the news to them, and even the petty rumours that started around the office later that day.</p>
<p>“<em>Kenichi flirts with everyone around the office, he’s kidding himself if he thinks he can settle down like that.”</em></p>
<p>“<em>Wonder what kind of girl it takes to turn the great, womanizing Natsuki Kenichi into an honest man.”</em></p>
<p>“<em>Probably no one special.”</em></p>
<p>On the outside, Kenichi was a womanizer, a fickle man who moved from girl to girl as he saw fit. He would meet someone, easily attract them with his charisma, and after weeks of dating suddenly cut contact. Anyone who knew him could never get a read on what his actual intentions were: did he care this little for the feelings of others? Were the girls he dated a simple distraction from his exhausting work life, something to fill an evening when he needed to unwind?</p>
<p>Honestly, sometimes Kenichi didn’t even know.</p>
<p>He didn’t like to believe he was such a heartless person. He would tell himself, ‘she isn’t the one’, and that for all his charm and good choice in words, he never knew how to reject someone.</p>
<p>So he would just remove himself from their lives, and move onto the next girl.</p>
<p>When he looked at his actions that bluntly, and how they looked from other peoples’ perspectives, it would raise those questions in his mind again.</p>
<p>All of that didn’t matter anymore, though.</p>
<p>In the young woman named Naoko, he had found not only the girl who seemingly filled this gap in his heart, but someone he could protect.</p>
<p>That was the feeling he experienced that night as he prevented her kindness from being taken advantage of, the need to protect something – in this case, Naoko’s soft heart and gentle smile.</p>
<p>Perhaps that was what he was missing all along: Some primal instinct to protect a person less physically capable, less socially experienced, someone innocent.</p>
<p>Kenichi didn’t like to think of it like that. When asked, his default response was just <em>“She’s special.”</em></p>
<p>And so Naoko would adopt the surname Natsuki as she and Kenichi would be wed after what seemed such a short time.</p>
<p>Kenichi thought himself the happiest guy in the world. Work was still work – Monotonous, uninteresting and a literal chore, but every day he would come home to Naoko’s warm smile. A deal could go poorly, a manager could give him a hard time or there could just be one too many annoyances during his commute, but at the end of the day, Natsuki Kenichi was always revitalized by a comfy evening around the TV, a pleasant dinner or however else he and Naoko felt like spending their free time that day.</p>
<p>It wasn’t always so easy, of course. The two argued, and while Kenichi didn’t always understand what the problem was, he never went out of his way to try and hurt Naoko. The two were polar opposites – Naoko was laid-back, quiet and dim-witted at times, while Kenichi was outspoken, energetic and always on alert, so it was only natural they would butt heads on occasion.</p>
<p>But, when all was said and done, they could never hold a grudge, and any disagreements were always quickly settled with a hug or a gift in good faith in the end.</p>
<p>Then came Naoko’s pregnancy.</p>
<p>And what a reality check that was for Natsuki Kenichi.</p>
<p>In nine months, he would be a father.</p>
<p>Would his child be a boy, or a girl? Would they resemble him or their mother more closely? Did he have a preference to begin with?</p>
<p>But the biggest question that permeated Kenichi’s mind was,</p>
<p>How.</p>
<p>How does one take responsibility for a child’s life.</p>
<p>How do you care for something so vulnerable, so innocent?</p>
<p>He felt he should be able to manage something like this, that he shouldn’t feel such anxieties. He committed himself to his wife specifically for her vulnerability and her innocence, why was this any different? He was a man, a strong, confident man, there should be no one more fit for the job of protection than him.</p>
<p>And yet,</p>
<p>He was scared.</p>
<p>It was a specific kind of fear, the kind that felt like a hole in your stomach and leaves you with a horrible, anxious feeling. He would wake up in the middle of the night in a cold sweat, his heart racing and his head pounding in pain so intense he failed to fall asleep again. Many a day was spent in exhaustion, the only thing keeping Kenichi going being his third, fourth or fifth cup of coffee for the day.</p>
<p>Unrest in the Natsuki household would increase, as it wasn’t just Kenichi feeling the pressure. Naoko didn’t want to talk as often, and if the two did it became far more likely conversations could take a sour note over petty nonsense. Was the trash sorted by recyclables and non-recyclables? Is the fridge stocked up? Is the milk out of date? It felt as though even these minor mistakes were enough for Kenichi to see the worst of his wife, a side of her he didn’t think existed.</p>
<p>Passive aggressive comments, the cold shoulder, even an outright explosion of anger that would ultimately end in a sorry state of tears as she broke down from her anxieties.</p>
<p>Kenichi didn’t know how to deal with these things, so sometimes he would respond in kind. His health would decline to its lowest point as he skimped on his workout routine more and more, his eyes were more often than not baggy from lack of sleep, sometimes he would forget to eat for a day before realising just how hungry he was towards the end of the day-</p>
<p>He became a zombie, only kept animate through copious amounts of coffee and a need to keep up appearances.</p>
<p>I’m fine.</p>
<p>Things are going good.</p>
<p>You bet I’m excited to be a dad.</p>
<p>Showing the cracks in his confidence wasn’t in Kenichi’s nature, he didn’t know how to do it. It wasn’t that he considered such honesty to be a weakness, only that…</p>
<p>He only knew how to be whatever the world needed him to be.</p>
<p>His parents wanted him to do well in school, so he did.</p>
<p>His friends wanted someone fun and talkative, so that’s what he was.</p>
<p>Girls wanted someone attractive and well built, so he worked out.</p>
<p>He needed good income to afford rent, so he climbed corporate ladders and never missed a promotion.</p>
<p>Naoko needed someone to protect her, so Kenichi became her shield.</p>
<p>Did he really want to do all these things? Deep down, did he really value his school life and the work he put in? Or was he just pushing himself to reach those high grades, because that was what the world – his parents, told him was the ‘right’ thing to do.</p>
<p>Was he truly such an outgoing personality in his own mind? Or was that too, only a front to garner positive reinforcement from his peers.</p>
<p>With all his failed relationships, did Kenichi even truly care about others the way he claimed to?</p>
<p>All of these doubts came to the forefront of his mind as Naoko’s pregnancy progressed. The feeling that, all of his life he was only doing things because that was what was expected of him – like an unfeeling machine, programmed to act with efficiency and lacking the capability to disobey an order. Kenichi came to question that, despite his seemingly ideal circumstances – A stable job, physical health, a loving wife and a child on the way – Whether or not he was actually in the position in life he wanted to be.</p>
<p>Some days he would think about just...Running away from it all again. Secretly pack some clothes and supplies while Naoko wasn’t looking, and take the next train to Sapporo. Block her number, find some residence in a hostel as he searched for work and ultimately start his life over again. And maybe this time, he would find what actually makes him happy.</p>
<p>Another heart broken on Natsuki Kenichi’s empty road called life.</p>
<p>He never went through with it of course, but the thought often entered his mind and he hated himself even more for it.</p>
<p>All this unease, all this anxiety, all this...Pain, why was it that something so beautiful as the thought of a newborn child – His child – That made Natsuki Kenichi experience these feelings?</p>
<p>In just those nine months, he could recall the lowest points of his life.</p>
<p>His needless arguments and insults towards colleagues and friends at work over petty issues.</p>
<p>His first and only experimentation with self-harm.</p>
<p>The biggest decline in his physical health in his entire life, gaining weight and losing sleep.</p>
<p>Naoko even threatened to leave him once their child was born during a particularly heated argument.</p>
<p>Natsuki Kenichi witnessed firsthand his life falling apart at the seams until,</p>
<p>The day everything made sense to him again.</p>
<p>The day that whatever kind of man Kenichi was beforehand, none of it mattered now.</p>
<p>The day he knew that he was put on this earth to protect the life of another.</p>
<p>The day his son, Natsuki Subaru, was born.</p>
<p>As he watched Naoko cradle their newborn son in her arms, Natsuki Kenichi felt a new sense of purpose and strength in his heart.</p>
<p>No, it wasn’t ‘new’, it would be more accurate to say ‘incomplete.’</p>
<p>His son, Subaru, was the missing piece in Kenichi’s life. A new life, to protect, to treat with love and kindness, to teach and to prepare for the future.</p>
<p>To be better than his father.</p>
<p>That was what Kenichi needed all along.</p>
<p>Someone who could learn from their father’s mistakes and failures, who could be the person they wanted to be, not the person that the world wanted them to be.</p>
<p>Natsuki Kenichi needed someone to find that kind of happiness where he could not.</p>
<p>And conversely, succeeding in that, Kenichi would find his happiness.</p>
<p>Realising this, Natsuki Kenichi vowed to ensure his son would be happy. Natsuki Kenichi would become the person that his son needed him to be – Not because Subaru asked him to, but because Kenichi wanted to.</p>
<p>He would continue to work his hardest to give his son the best opportunity he could, and the freedom to choose what kind of person he wanted to be.</p>
<p>Natsuki Kenichi never really had that kind of choice in his life, after all. There was always something external influencing his decisions – Parents, friends, colleagues, bosses – And he was always altering his personality, his goals, his entire being in order to become the person that the world needed, wanted him to be.</p>
<p>He would not let his son fall into this same trap. He vowed that Subaru would be allowed to become his own person, the person he wanted to be, no matter what other people thought or wanted.</p>
<p>Natsuki Kenichi, the most successful failure, would give his son the opportunity to define their own success.</p>
  </div></div>
</body>
</html>